Whatever, believe nothing you read about these two. Everyone knows Scientologists controll the media.Watch out ladies of Hollywood, nutbar Tom will be holding auditions for his next girlfriend/captive any day now...

I like the headline at the top of the magazine better. I wonder what Brad and Angelina got for Jennifer's birthday...Maybe they plan on giving back her dignity. Fucking Indian-givers.

Well that's just pissed all over the fun I was having mocking and deriding. I had this terrific image of the Midget of Hollywood being kicked out of the Holmes house, arse first.

And we should care because...?

Another case of racial discremination here. Let's see how the black community would react to blatant lies about their two favorite celebs. This is just the liberal minority loving media taking cheap shots at a white celebrity couple because they know they will get away with it. White people and christians are very similar in that they both take it on the chin all the time and yet it doesn't seem to phase them. Blacks and Muslims are very similar in that they are both violent and terribly sensitive. Which is a great combo by the way.

Just more proof that Tom Cruise was with her for no other reason that to produce offspring.

jonathanwithaj - WTF??????? You wanna bring up skin colour on every story? That has NOTHING to do with colour?? Like the Paris Hilton/PETA story, your response showed your true mentality...
How about waiting until a story actually has ANYTHING to do with a person's colour before spewing your crap!

9. Posted by jonathanwithaj on February 15, 2006 07:52 AM

They only did this to Paris because she's white. If this had been a black person can you imagine the stink they would make?
"They're trying to make us all white by putting this whitening powder on us!!! Oogady boogady blagedy boo!"
That last part is what it would probably end up sounding like to the rest of us, because of all the fried chicken and watermelon they are shoveling in their face.

This post on the Paris story said it best:

12. Posted by fearsarewishes on February 15, 2006 08:04 AM
Sheesh, Jon. I hope that your taking time to post your comment has not made you late to your Klan meeting.

Thank God these two freaks are still together. The rest of us remain safe...

There is only one thing I love more than a Tom and Katie story- and that is a racial war. Keep it up guys!

OH how sweet, NOT. And BTW still GAY.

Jonathanwithaj, unless j stands for Joint you should seek help immediately. When you go to your next Klan meeting see if you can reach out to one of your fellow hoodsman for a good shrink. Change your name to jonathanwithac, for CRAZY. I think you meant to be on www.thealmightywhitey.com

I only see shades of gray. There was harp playing in the background when I said that.

Seriously, I'm in music class and that girl Brandy Smith is player her harp again. Man. she sucks.

they both deserve oscars for playing their best roles yet...

Well, looks like it's back in the basement for her! We won't be seeing her again until the "wedding" or the "birth" of their baby. And by then she'll look like a leper.

People who leave comments like #4 make me laugh. They come here, they read Superficial, and then they log into type key to comment. Why? Because they care. Denial may be a good thing, but nobody likes it on A Nobody.

jonathanwithaj, honey, you spelled discrimination wrong.

for the love of all that is intelligent, HE WAS JOKING. I am able to guess the approximate IQ of Superficial posters just through their reponse to johnathanwithaj's post.

OMG HE'S SOOO RACIST K!

Johnathan, you're a douchebag.

But that's beside the point. Tom and Katie are going to break up at some time and the question isn't IF but WHEN.

Just save the cover for later.

Oh, and Johnathan you're still a douche bag.

Best comments ever! I personally am for white people. Albinos deserve more respect. :(

Let's see what happens when Star Jones appears again.

Wait, no Kanye West is addicted to sex??

Anybody who calls their child Star deserves to be lynched there and then. God damn hippies.

ALBINO POWER!

PostAcidYouth, why are YOU on here, then? Bringing our IQ average up, no doubt from your witty, pseudo-intellectual response.

OMG DID YOU LISTEN TO NPR LAST NIGHT?! IT WAS SOOO ENGAGING!

I'm on here to have a bit of fun and amuse myself by laughing at the quite frankly ridiculous amount of people getting offended by someone who is clearly NOT being serious. Your good self?

PostAcidYouth, a way to kill time at work.

Then we're here for the same reason, although I'm not expecting any kind of viewpoint changing debate or, in fact, anything but pure silliness. Which is generally why I thought this site existed...to take the raving piss.

That's what Jen and Brad said many moons ago when it was being speculated that they were on the road to splitsville. Run Katie, RUN!

Tom won't leave Katie. He needs their demon child. He needs some sort of heir to his evil empire in the years to come.

Oh and it's spelled DISCRIMINATION. (gOSH!)

PostAcid, you're my hero.

You think they'll name the kid Damian? By the way, who's Xenu?

you have to admit, the site IS pretty fucking hilarious.

Everybody say REFRESH!

I think the odds of the child being given a number instead of a name are pretty high...

"Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have named their child 1 in the hope that 'he' will lead the Scientologists to the Promised Land, and the infidels to the deepest pits of hell..."

REFRESH indeed

When Tom was looking for his next bride he told his agent, "It HAS to be someone from Dawson's Creek. No one else will do." Which is very convenient because after the baby is born Katie will be "disposed of" in a nearby lake.

Nicole Kidman was lucky to have got in there before the Midget of Hollywood 'saw the light'. If you can consider shagging Tom Cruise 'lucky', of course

I sure do. Like I consider getting a urinary tract infection lucky.

I wonder if he makes her call him "Maverick" in bed...
"Target engaged, Maverick, yes, oh yes! BULLSEYE!"

tomb, I wonder if Katie crushes Tom when she's on top. Tom is like the male equivalent of a spinner.

"Take me to bed or lose me forever." BTW I hated Kelly McGillis in that movie. Then again, I was pretty young then and I thought Rick Rossovich was hot (where is he now, hmmm?)

What.....oh yeah Katie and Tom. Um, Katie, Michelle Williams is on the phone. Yeah, an Oscar nominee from Dawson's Crack...you can kiss THAT possibility goodbye (as if).

Oh and Tom Sucks.

#5 jonathanwithaj, it's "faze," not "phase."

Rick Rossovich is off being gay somewhere... Tom needs to join him.

Awwwwww that's like the worse news ever!!

I have no sources for that, you might want to look it up to see if it's true :)

OK, BRB.

Thanks for the help #38, if it wasn't for you I would have thought that comment #5 was a racist comment. But, because of a spelling error the whole context of the comment shifted and I relize that he was talking about puppies and rainbows, not hate crimes...

#35....just brightened up my day a bit more. Ahh, Top Gun, possibly the most homoerotic film ever made. Everyone knows Iceman was making eyes at Maverick THE WHOLE TIME

Yeah, and now Iceman is scooping Paris Hilton. From a pilot to a manwhore-that's a shame.

Lemme just make one thing clear: Reporting on Tomkat's "split" is NOT, as they say, a "malicious fallacy." Wishful thinking? Maybe. Malcious fallacy? No. But for god's sake, won't someone PLEASE think of the children??

And by "children" I mean "ninjas."

.....

I need to go back to bed.

Of course they're denying it. Tom ain't gonna leave until he confirms that Clay Aiken doesn't have a current boyfriend. He has wet dreams of Clay using his "microphone." (Sorry guys, I woke up on the perverted side of the bed today... and everyday...)

#47, I love that side of the bed. It's always moist....

I spilled gasoline on myself last night, and though the smell has not left and my co-workers keep grimacing as I walk past; I feel better knowing that the evil seed of Tom Cruise is not growing in my womb. We should all be grateful.

Hey #5!!
Blacks are violent?? How could you say such a racist thing ...HOW? You racist! ...Just kidding LOL
Yes, we blacks are indeed violent. VIOLENCE IS THE ANSWER ...is it not??
Hey, that is a great combo.

I LOVE the smell of gasoline.

I'm still waiting for news that authorities have found the remaints of the empty pod sitting alongside Katie's shriveled original body.

Well, I for one am relieved. Now I don't have to return the wedding gift that I got for Kate (that's what Tom and I call her). Because it might be a little bit difficult to return a slap on the side of the head and a "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING!?!?!?"

I see a remake in the making of "Silence of the Lambs" staring Tom Cruise and featuring Katie Holmes. He would never allow her to be top billing next to him, she is only good enough to carry his demon seed.

We heard this countless times about Nick & Jessica and Jen & Brad it is only a matter of time before Katie's anti-depressants kick in that she secretly got from Brooke Shields.

Man, something needs to go down. Besides - Katie probably did have a crush on Tom when she was a little girl, and finally snagged him as an adult. What I would have gave to one day snag MegaMan!! But of course he would never turn out to be what I imagined ...

memichelle77 I am glad to see you have decided to join us. : )

ESQ, you sound like a cult, or a scientologist!! Everyone beware!!

TomKat? Stop using that. You are falling into his trap. Everytime someone uses the term "TomKat", one of Katie's brain cells die. This is how she got pregnant in the first place. She had 12 brain cells left and although she agreed to marry him, that 12th brain cell told her not to get knocked up.

Well, Tom called his publicist and told her (I think it was his sister at that time) to get a story out. Didn't matter the subject. So, they put out some scientology story and some magazine had to use "TomKat" so then the 12th brain cell in Katie's head died and Tom was able to plant his seed. It's all part of Tom's plan, don't you see. So stop using "TomKat". Because soon, Katie will have no brain function left and we can't have that. We want to make sure she continue's to wear proper clothing and pedicure her long monkey toes.

Oops, how many times did I use "TomKat"? Let's see: 11 minus 5 - no 6 = not looking good for Katie.

Aw, Camille you just did her in. Katie is Doomed....

How do you guys come up with these strange explanations of Cruise's insanity and Holmes' stupidity? Strange ...

we are a very creative bunch...with a LOT of time on our hands and nothing better to do at work than fantasize about TomKat's demise...

I saw a sneak preview for Mission Impossible 3 and it was just 120 minutes of Tom and Katie sitting in their living room in total silence. Every now and then Katie would put her magazine down and look over at Tom and shake her head. Finally, Katie got up in minute 119 and called Tom a "Faggot" and Tom called her a "Dunb Human" and they stormed off into different bedrooms. It was good flick.

PRAISE XENU!

He was merely testing up. Katie is a worthy vessel and an Operating Thetan.

Dumb Human--my bad

Nikk, are you a Kinight, a Mason or of the TRES?

PAPA, can you get a bootleg of that?

If you look in the mirror and say "TomKat" 5 times they will appear before you and engage in what Tom likes to call a "spiritual audit". This is where he probes Katie with his "spiritual auditing machine". After 2O minutes the catatonic Katie will birth an Oscar award. This makes Tom smile. It will probably make you vomit.

Me thinks someone needs to put their hands up, and step AWAY from the Superficial website once in a while. Seriously. There should be a limit on how many times you can post per story. As in, less then 10.

So here's the burning question... If they are really on the outs when she gives birth, do you think she'll follow all the crazy birthing rules Scientology has cooked up?

Will she scream during labor (I know I sure did!)?

Will she be able to speak to the baby during the first week (even if it's just to say, "Poor thing, you got daddy's nose.")? I wonder.... hmmmm.....

I know this'll sound lame (one of those "I know someone who knows someone" stories), but a friend of a friend of mine was at restaurant years ago when Tom & Nicole were still together and witnessed Nicole throwing her napkin at Tom, storming over to the Maitre'd and saying "I'll take the check, he'll take the waiter". Tom is so gay. I've decided to believe everything I read (about celebrity break-ups atleast) in the tabloids because they ALWAYS turn out to be true. They're so breaking up.

#67 PKClover who are you talking about? Everyone seems so fuuny. I am new here, so fill me in on the rules.

The entire rRelationship was nothing more then an "amazing" agreement. She broke an engagement for the front. Why are they not married now? If it were real, wouldn't they get married when they found out she was Prego? Obviously Katie was using protection with her fiance. Why stop using it the very month you meet Tom Cruise? Duh. Tom actually went seeking her out, and called her in for a meeting. Needed a young one. I'm sure Katie made millions on the deal. She is financially set for the rest of her life. There is always some kind of truth to these so called rumors. Just like Brad and Jen. Someone close to them cannot resist leaking information. From the very beginning the public could see that there was something not quite right about this relationship..

In response to #57 "Layla" - And you are? You must be new here.

Gee (scratching head) I post a lot.

Hmmm.

I wonder if the "Me" in Methinks could be moi. Again...Hmmmm.

by the way - what the hell is "Life & Style" magazine? Lifestyle is one word. I'm starting a new magazine called "Pe & ople". It's going to be sweet.

:::writing LaydeeBug a citation:::

I'm still appalled that she has been widely reported as 4th choice to carry the sperminator's spawn, AND SHE STILL DID IT. Her only saving grace right now is for her to come out and admit she has a more intimate relationship with the turkey baster used to impregnate her than she ever has had with Tom.

I'm still appalled that she has been widely reported as 4th choice to carry the sperminator's spawn, AND SHE STILL DID IT. Her only saving grace right now is for her to come out and admit she has a more intimate relationship with the turkey baster used to impregnate her than she ever has had with Tom.

Yeah I agree debs, any cred she may have had pre-Cruise has now well and truly dried up. She'd HAVE to sell her story to redeem herself... hopefully Oprah can talk her around! Is it true Jessica Alba and Scarlett Johansen were on Tom's list-o-babes? Eewww, he's SO creepy.

#78 If you believe the rumors, then yes. Both Scarlett and Jessica were on the list. And HollyJ? Good call on the Katie clone thing. Because there is just no other explanation for her behavior.

for a couple that's truly madly deeply in love, it's funny how you never see them going out on any romantic dates. all she gets to do is watch his kids play sports. and go ice-skating at midnite. i dunno who's the bigger fool -- Katie or Katie.

I really don't want to make a comment until I find out what Pink has to say about the whole thing.

#80 - yeah, if I were her age, why would I even want to try to be a mom to someone else's kids? it's time to enjoy life, not a bunch of boring baseball games, etc., looking like a 40-yr old married woman.

btw, one day Katie's neck won't be able to get out of that pose.

The best part of the story was that Katie and the baby would live together in a house near Tom's. Does anyone think she will walk out of that house with her baby? His other two are already homeschooled by his scientologist sisters, who all live in his mansion (commune). Katie's (Rosemary's) baby's fate has already been foretold....and it doesn't involve life with my single mom!

Marcee, you're scaring me 'cuz it could happen. OJ got away with it.

PKClover, the check's in the mail (encloses citation)

Hey, you spelled separate wrong.

# 83, you are so right. I don't think Nicole ever gets to see those kids. Scientologists basically hand over their kids when they turn 11 to go away to some special scientology school to learn more about the scientology ways. And everything is super expensive. I think to get where Tom is you will have given them about $300,000.00. There was a huge article in the local paper about them. And they claim they aren't a cult. HAHAHAHA!!!!! That poor kid is doomed.

Man, if only this were true, however, I think Katie's been lobotimized by some secret Scientology sect, then Tom's sperm was taken out of him in order to artificially inseminate her. Through all this, I thought Tom's sperm was defunct or however you call it when sperm doesn't work, that's why Nicole Kidman couldn't get preggers. Anyway, just something I heard eons ago.

Tom Cruise ate soup IMMEDIATELY BEFORE the couch incident on Oprah!!! I don't know how Katie can put up with him and his strange outbursts...when will it all end?