February 10, 2006
David Hasslehoff in Australia

Here's an image from what is apparently an ad campaign in Australia. It looks like the Hoff is about to get raped by a giant Pepsi bottle. And he's decided to sing about it. I don't know what in god's name he's doing with the microphone stand, but the bottle sure seems to enjoy it. If that doesn't make you thirsty, nothing will.
Thanks to Andrew for the tip.
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Comments
1. Posted by Binky on February 10, 2006 10:28 AM
Judging from his vids and singing career - it's probably ok if he's off the coke.
2. Posted by tofts on February 10, 2006 10:30 AM
Shouldn't he be facing the other way for his "big surprise"?
3. Posted by Go Sip on February 10, 2006 10:33 AM
The HOFF, what do you mean what is he doing with the microphone? He is making hot HOFF love to that thing. This guy never ceases to amaze me. Why doesn't he just come out and say, "I miss being Knight Rider" "I miss Kit", we all know he still pines for the days when he had the most fierce crime fighting car. He was like Hutch without Starsky and now he is mounting an oversized pepsi bottle as it comes out of the floor. What happened? Wheres Kit?
4. Posted by Meh Toole on February 10, 2006 10:39 AM
Raped by a giant Pepsi bottle...
Classic.
5. Posted by Spindoc on February 10, 2006 10:43 AM
The Large Pepsi bottle is supposed to be a symbolic penis. It's supposed to make you think of sex....sex with Dave Hasslehoff, with his big bottle, which the advertisers what you to think he has....yes, a big bottle, and he knows how to use that big bottle. Or, I guess he could be coming out of the closet and admitting that he likes giant Pepsi bottles up his ass...which reminds me of a funny story a nurse who works in an emergency room once told me...
6. Posted by playahater101 on February 10, 2006 10:48 AM
You just gotta love David Hasselhoff for just being David Hasselhoff and giving us reason to laugh. Has anyone else noticed that he never ages? I swear he looks the same as he did in Knight Rider
7. Posted by Fatty Boom-Batty on February 10, 2006 10:49 AM
Are you guys sure this is a Pepsi ad? Because from now on I am drinking Coke. This is the perfect smear campaign...I have an idea Gary Busey making love to Jiffy peanut-butter, from now on everyone will buy Peter-Pan and not just because he is a man-child.
8. Posted by Fatty Boom-Batty on February 10, 2006 10:51 AM
Clarification: Peter-Pan is the man-child, not David Hasselhoff...wait a second, or is he...?
9. Posted by Fatty Boom-Batty on February 10, 2006 10:52 AM
Oops, I mean Gary Busey...or do I?
God damn alcohol, and it's effects on the short-term memory.
10. Posted by Shaun on February 10, 2006 11:00 AM
That guy looks like he is getting ready to deep throat the microphone. What a disturbing image.
11. Posted by hermanita on February 10, 2006 11:03 AM
Oh wow. I don't even wanna think about how enlarged his anus must be...but I am...I mean...hey is that shit on the wall? -__-
12. Posted by ribbit25 on February 10, 2006 11:06 AM
Looks like the pepsi bottle is a premature ejaculator
13. Posted by hermanita on February 10, 2006 11:06 AM
"10. Posted by Shaun on February 10, 2006 11:00 AM
That guy looks like he is getting ready to deep throat the microphone. What a disturbing image."
You shouldn't have pointed that out. I will have nightmares about him again tonight.
14. Posted by bjpack on February 10, 2006 11:09 AM
I just wonder, before the giant Pepsi bottle exploded out of the ground, why was he singing in a giant bathroom?
15. Posted by Coolguy7711 on February 10, 2006 11:16 AM
Elvis called....he wants his concert suit back........
16. Posted by playahater101 on February 10, 2006 11:19 AM
#11, that DOES look like shit on the wall. That is way too funny. Is this an add for pepsi or a porn gone bad? REALLY bad. Looks like Knight Rider is taking it from both ends.
17. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 10, 2006 11:25 AM
Isn't he supposed to be in jail or something? I miss Knight Rider.
18. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 10, 2006 11:28 AM
Anyone who appears in a SpongeBob movie is A-OK with me. He does look good though. Never had any complaints about him, he always took care of my "ahem" needs. Call me, Davie.
19. Posted by Tracy on February 10, 2006 11:34 AM
It looks like he's crackin' open that big ol' Pepsi bottle with his microphone. What a stud!
20. Posted by Chris'sMom on February 10, 2006 11:43 AM
You see, this is exactly why his wife finally divorced him. She couldn't take being second place to Pepsi bottles and various other inanimate objects. A woman...she could deal with, a man...maybe. But not the Pepsi bottle.
Also, if you look at his leg/butt he is the envy of every anorexic teenage girl in America.
21. Posted by spammy on February 10, 2006 11:53 AM
why is he doing an ad? who'll go "oh my god if it's good enough for david hasslehoff to drink then it's good enough for me!", who gives a damn? he can drink billy zane's piss in the morning for all i care...
22. Posted by dusk_phoenix on February 10, 2006 12:12 PM
*Low whistle*
Far too much thought into where the bottle and microphone are going! >_<
23. Posted by dosita on February 10, 2006 12:31 PM
Thank you, Dave. That was the cherry on the cake of my day.
24. Posted by PapaHotNuts on February 10, 2006 12:42 PM
You bunch of jealous losers. This cat is the coolest mother fucker since Shaft. If given the chance, I would dry hump his leg until my penis rubbed through my jeans. Are you forgetting Baywatch? That patch of man-hair on his golden brown skin, the way he carried his "flotation device", otherwise known as his dick. You keep rockin' Dave, and I'll keep finger-bangin' this Pepsi bottle.
25. Posted by rachel on February 10, 2006 12:56 PM
I love David Hasselhoff. Any guy who is willing to make a complete jack ass of himself over and over again for my entertainment purposes is alright by me!
26. Posted by Xanthia on February 10, 2006 12:59 PM
His mouth looks like a PEEZ Dispenser!
27. Posted by ranesing on February 10, 2006 01:00 PM
He is deep throating a microphone while mounting a giant Pepsi bottle spewing something the color of feces all over the wall as it rises from a bathroom floor.
And he's actually turning around to see who is watching as he rocks those white cowboy boots with the silver pointy things on the end.
Too much - who thinks this shit up?
28. Posted by SMF121490 on February 10, 2006 01:15 PM
Thank goodness I drink coca-cola. I would hate to see this image everytime I took a sip of my soda.
This guy really needs new management. The things they have him do are really embarassing and stupid. But then again, he does them, sooooo....
29. Posted by Onrico on February 10, 2006 01:22 PM
I have lost some respect for Australia. No...make that a lot of respect.
30. Posted by HollyJ on February 10, 2006 01:23 PM
What I see is David Hasslehoff with open-mouthed fckface, holding his pole in his hand, with spew flying up from his hip area and slathering the wall. =/ I'm going to have nightmares.
31. Posted by 5paniard on February 10, 2006 02:34 PM
why the fuck is this guy even alive! seriously pepsi, surely you can get a better z-rated celebrity, like i dont know, chachi or cory feldman
32. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 10, 2006 02:45 PM
All this talk of spewing, slathering, popping, spraying, shit on walls is just getting me all kinds of horny. I want to pinch David's tight little coolie and have sex on Kit's back.
33. Posted by Allie D. on February 10, 2006 02:59 PM
Too fucking funny. I actually love this guy, because he's so superficially cheesy and he knows it and exploits the living hell out of it. LOL
34. Posted by Kelly on February 10, 2006 04:05 PM
That' it I am never drinking Pepsi again.
35. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 10, 2006 04:11 PM
Pepsi sucks anyway. I only drink it when there is no more Coke left (sniff).
just joking.
36. Posted by escapevelocity on February 10, 2006 04:18 PM
actually, it looks like he's lamenting via song the woes of premature ejaculation. he's to star in an off-broadway musical of Sex & the City, playing the role of Samantha, the she-man.
37. Posted by DannyJames on February 10, 2006 04:29 PM
that looks like shit exploding out of the pepsi botle.
38. Posted by HughJorganthethird on February 10, 2006 04:35 PM
I think if you live in a country where Hoff is considered a "singer" and his lame ass likeness is acually used to sell shit, it's time to move. Anywhere but where you are. In fact most places would probably consider you a refugee.
39. Posted by escapevelocity on February 10, 2006 04:42 PM
looking at that picture, i've suddenly been overcome by this urge... this urge to go get a Pepsi. dear god, what could this mean?!
40. Posted by Wild Rose on February 10, 2006 05:23 PM
You said it Allie D.--He's the king of Cheese! LOL
41. Posted by bone_daddio on February 10, 2006 05:27 PM
ok. you all have got this one wrong. this is actually a scene from Dave's new porn musical --> "Soda Jerk" --> you see he just got done getting reamed by Capt. Pepsi and that wall stain is Hasselhoff's anal ejaculate. the bottle is easing away for a smoke as Dave bursts into a musical number. this scene leads into the big gang bang that consists of bats, Saddam Hussein, Bin laden, an inter-continental balistic missile and Pink banging hasselhoff all night long - and mainly all at once. it's gonna be an award winner!
42. Posted by dimestoredetective on February 10, 2006 06:04 PM
I ran into Hasslehoff on the studio lot a few weeks ago, and he doesn't even look human. He looks like a glossy magazine photo. You know when you shake a magazine and those annoying subscription cards fall out? Yeah, that's what he's like. Like some one held an "Us" upside down and shook it and he fell out and walked away.
43. Posted by a concerned fan on February 10, 2006 06:48 PM
Pepsi is on quite a roll, eh? First those "inspired" commercials at the Super Bowl and now this. Sales must be rockin'
44. Posted by billabong021 on February 10, 2006 07:06 PM
Damn those germans for encouraging this man..
45. Posted by Kg on February 10, 2006 07:56 PM
Wow, I hope he's lubricated himself enough
46. Posted by happyday on February 10, 2006 09:30 PM
Don't hassle the Hoff while he's getting off.
47. Posted by happyday on February 10, 2006 09:45 PM
This will blow your mind
http://www.randomshite.co.uk/hassle-the-hoff.html
48. Posted by The Lazy Asian on February 10, 2006 10:41 PM
I thought he was just a German sensation - didn't realize that Australia loved him too. His fame is spreading, which makes me think:
Maybe the whole world is smarter than us? And maybe tight white pants on a guy is a good idea.
49. Posted by Tom McKenzie on February 10, 2006 10:42 PM
Hi! I'm Australian (in Melbourne) and yes, this is a real ad. It's mostly on busstops and posters at train stations, I haven't seen it anywhere else. Rest assured that Hasselhoff is as much of a joke here than he is there, and I have no idea why he's doing these ads. Many 'celebrities' are doing simliar kinds of ads for pepsi, shown in the same context.
50. Posted by Tom McKenzie on February 10, 2006 10:45 PM
Followup:
"The Hoff joins stars such as Beyonce, Madonna, Delta Goodrem, Robbie Williams, Jennifer Hawkins and Sonny Bill Williams as an Australian Pepsi celebrity ambassador. The summer campaign will launch December 2005."
http://www.bandt.com.au/news/00/0c039500.asp
51. Posted by Zed on February 10, 2006 10:49 PM
He sure takes himself seriously, doesn't he?
Yes, David, you're special. Very very special.
52. Posted by boogerman on February 10, 2006 11:35 PM
i wish kit would run him over now.
53. Posted by convictchick on February 11, 2006 09:44 AM
errr people the ad is OBVIOUSLY a piece of clever kitsch. the whole hoff resurgence is ironic and self referencing.
and if you thought aussies sincerely love the hoff....please stab yourself in the heart immediately. thanks.
54. Posted by Aindaliel on February 11, 2006 12:21 PM
This ad campaign was made by BBDO. They use celebs from different countries to star using their "tools of the trade" to open PEPSI bottles in these PEPSI ads. Although...what the heck is Hasslehoff doing in an AUSTRALIAN version of the campaign?!
55. Posted by HollyJ on February 11, 2006 04:17 PM
47 HappyDay LOL! but...
SHIT! Don't DO THAT to me when I'm drinking Orangina! CHRIST! I think the orange even came out my nose (That burns, dammit)
double strikethru ---> forcing my eyes to zoom down onto Hoff's cheesy doodle over and over
56. Posted by HollyJ on February 11, 2006 04:18 PM
47 HappyDay LOL! but...
SHIT! Don't DO THAT to me when I'm drinking Orangina! CHRIST! I think the orange even came out my nose (That burns, dammit)
double strikethru ---> forcing my eyes to zoom down onto Hoff's cheesy doodle over and over
57. Posted by ESQ on February 11, 2006 08:20 PM
Good GOD! One of the many reasons I drink Coke. This is just plain awful and embarrassing for David - what was he thinking? He needs to stick with "Hooked On a Feeling" videos. No matter why his wife left him.
58. Posted by Mackie MacSpeed on February 12, 2006 12:40 AM
Ummm, Yo, David? The 80s are over. What the F is with the white suit? Shame on you for robbing from Barry Manilow's closet. Please fall into the Giant Pepsi bottle with the microphone plugged in and die, pretty please?
59. Posted by taniableu on February 12, 2006 10:01 AM
I love this ad. It's on bus shelters everywhere at the moment.
In Australia, he only became awesome a couple of years ago, after all the emails started to circulate. For a good one, do a google search on the hoff and katrina nugent. Go Hoffman!
60. Posted by Boozey on February 12, 2006 05:46 PM
Why is he posing with a microphone? Maybe it's the fact his music single handedly brought down the Berlin Wall and paved the way for democracy in eastern europe. David's lyrics and lack of arse are an inspiration.
61. Posted by KatieA978 on February 12, 2006 06:04 PM
I still don't know what Pepsi is doing with these ads... they're everywhere here in Oz, but not just the Hoff, there's sports people, actors, etc.
The Hoff is entertainment over here because of the emails, and also because when he was out here he managed to take the piss out of himself quite well (he walked around in a "don't hassle the hoff" t-shirt and actually understood the joke) but then he decided to do a concert series down here, and wanted to charge $120 for tickets... Hate to tell you Hoff, you're funny cause you suck, but I ain't paying jack to listen to you sing.
62. Posted by ♥ shhexycorin ♥ on February 12, 2006 06:29 PM
One day I will have that man.
63. Posted by spaceykasem on February 13, 2006 05:15 AM
Spot the subliminal BJ.
64. Posted by fame is funny on February 13, 2006 11:29 AM
It's as if he posed with the microphone, you know, thinking it was serious and all...and then the Pespsi graphic designers played a cruel, cruel, joke on him. However, I would probally pose with a Pepsi bottle in my mouth and the other end being held by Hasslehoff on live TV for what they most likely paid him....and then afterward I break off the bottle and demand him to make a Knight Rider movie.
65. Posted by fame is funny on February 13, 2006 11:31 AM
It's as if he posed with the microphone, you know, thinking it was serious and all...and then the Pespsi graphic designers played a cruel, cruel, joke on him. However, I would probally pose with a Pepsi bottle in my mouth and the other end being held by Hasslehoff on live TV for what they most likely paid him....and then afterward I break off the bottle and demand him to make a Knight Rider movie.
66. Posted by RedRabbit on February 14, 2006 11:15 AM
WTF?!?!?!?
I mean... okay, so he's in a - umm - bathroom? And the Pepsi is bursting through the floor. Okay, got it. But is that a bit of a bottle opener, disembodied at the side of the cap? (Oh, no, it's the base of the microphone stand.) And why is the soda blasting out to the side like that? Because, if it blasted straight up, it would stain his britches? Or because it would INSEMINATE him?
And why the white leather duds? And the cowboy boots with metal tips on the toes? Is he channeling Elvis? Do the Aussies grok Elvis?
And what could he be POSSIBLY be singing?
67. Posted by hofffan on February 21, 2006 07:36 PM
What ever The Hoff does is SEXY. He is just pure sex. But I do think he needs a new manager.
68. Posted by QOTD on March 2, 2006 10:46 PM
See! This is why I tell my husband to lay off the pepsi. I fight with him all the time to stop drinking so much soda. Maybe this picture will do the trick. You know like an anti drug campaign!!!
69. Posted by cgtt908 on March 10, 2006 04:01 AM
My friend Neil has now found his own personal Mona Lisa.