There's no way in hell that's her

Oh, god....ick! She looked better when she was 57 pounds!

she looks like master splinter.

ha hah h ha ha hah ah ah a ha

If that's her - she's got to stop eating again.
(But I think that's gal who's been running off with the carts at my Safeway.)

Hell way yes, that's her. She looks exactly the same 'cept for some reason she's all puffy. She's three days younger than Teri Hatcher. I always thought she looked like some kind of starved little bird with her pinched nose. Well, it looks like she finally ate something.

she looks like a frightening little elfkin.

OR, doesn't she kind of look like those really scary mice from the movie witches, where they run around eating things? i feel like she's going to open her mouth and there will be these tiny little teeth and she's going to start gnawing on cheese. or wood. or hopefully not harrison fords weenie.

This is a picture of her mother, right? Her mother, not her?

I'm just going to lie to myself and tell myself that it's her mother or that she was having a very, very, very bad day of bloating. And forgot her makeup. That's the ticket--she FORGOT to put on makeup. Or comb her hair. Or, or, or ....

I'm just so depressed.

She looks like she can be a spokesperson for the "I used to have an eating disorder and look what it's done to my face" association.

You can look at it two ways: Either Calista looks disgusting or Rachel Dratch is looking better than ever!

actually i think superficial got it perfect. the way she's staring at the camera you can FEEL her going, prrreecioussssss...

Whoa! WTF? She looks older than he does and he's like, what? 21 years older? That's just plain sad.

So she was the one trailing Jessica Simpson.

well for the first time i actually feel bad for a celebrity's hideousness. How old is she now like 50?

she looks so cold and dead. eek!

umm..*scratch*.....is hideousness even a real world?

Hideosity, then.

Maybe this is what happens when you kiss Lucy Liu.

This is why celebrity-women don't eat, people

This goes out as a warning to all you ladies -- this is what happens when one swallows sperm from an aging movie stars or rich men. 100-year-old men's sperm not only makes you gain massive amounts of weight, but also ages you. Three words, Anna Nicole Smith (back in her J. Howard Marshall days).

See what Harrison Ford's ancient love juice is doing to her? It's aging her rapidly from inside out. Ewwwwww! Oddly I heard that Harrison is really a big stoner...maybe this pic was taken just after she got high with him and ate a bunch of Ho-Hos. Asmith you're right...she looked better as a stick.

Yikes! some sort of wax rodent ate calista flockhart...well at least harrison ford is going to die soon

See, that's what taking an old sausage will do to you.

Can't believe she actually used to be semi-hot back in the Ally McBeal days.

Her pinched mouth and nose remind me of a mean grade school teacher. All she needs is the half glasses.

Her skin looks like freshly stirred Bisquick dough. Someone pass the butter and jam!!

I'm not sure that she's actually fat. Just puffy and really, really ugly. She doesn't look fat at all in recent pix.

It looks like the love child of a three way between Ozzy Ozbourne, Calista Flockhart, and Gollum

Holy crap, I thought it was Tanya Harding!!!

Hey, where are the new Tanya Harding/Jabba the Hutt pics?

I LOVE Calista!

Damn! I would have neer told he she needed a sandwich if I knew that was what it would do to her.

I'd say she looks like shit, but shit might be insulted.

Oh and you know, there is just something poetically justified in seeing celebrities without their makeup on. I'm thrilled, actually... lol

She's never been very cute. Okay, she was once kinda cute. ehhh.. Meh.

You know, I never really found Calista Flockhart attractive in the first place, but DAMN. This just takes the cake.

Who dug up Ray Walston?

uhhh...Ouch!!

I'M MELTING!....I'M MELTING!.....AHHHHHH!!!

I don't know what the hell you all are talking about, I think she hasn't looked this good since she played "Granny" on the Beverly Hillbillies

I can't believe this is Ally Mc freakin Beal.

Jowels, people, she has jowels! Like a bulldog or something .. I have to go scratch my eyeballs out now, thx.

the only way that could be calista flockheart is if harrison ford murdered her, invaded her body and used it as a bodysuit.

She looks alot like Montgomery Burns from the Simpsons....

Not the Jess Simpsons...or maybe...

Eeeexcellent.....(rubs hands together maniacally)

What the F happened to her? She has the body of a pre-pubescent twelve year old boy and the face of Gollum. My God she is aging in dog years, who the hell is her make up artist? Because if that is Calista without make up, that woman deserves an award. Calista should be pictured "before" and "after" shots on this womans business card.

#41: heyyy, gollum IS NOT fat! hmpfft. =p

Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to gouge out your eyeballs with a Dorito. I was eating a delicious Cool Ranch Dorito when I saw this, an some kind of primal self-preservation instinct took over and I removed my eyeballs with whatever what was in my hand- a dorito. All you guys reading this, realize that with enough make-up and a sun-tan, that ugly bitch at the end of the bar could look like a celebrity. 'Cause with those things, most celebs aren't that cute. So go ahead and fuck her.

Someone call her make-up person. She could really use her/him. After this photo maybe Calista should travel everywhere 24/7 with her.

what a beauty!!

I saw a picture of her a few weeks ago and, dare I say it, she looked good. But this?. This is someone getting prepared for Halloween waay too early. No need to frighten the kids Calista.

I can't believe this is her real face. She might be made up for some weird movie/tv role. This is the Calista we all know http://cache.eonline.com/Gossip/Fashion/Images2002/flockhart.ford.072202.jpg

That's Tracy Ullman, not Callista, no way.

can u say, "methamphetamine addict" --> i knew u could!

aw come on - it's called getting old. it ain't THAT bad. someone caught her at an off moment

Yes yes boys, makeup can do wonders, that's why us chicks use it. But c'mon, it's just a bad pic, I mean, it's really really bad, but still only a bad picture. I wonder what ya'll look like in some of those pics in your photo album. Probly even more scary than poor Calista.

Akapee,

that is the true wonders of make-up (and too much of it!)
celebrities may not look like theyre wearing alot of makeup on camera but thats because theyre on CAMERA! Believe me, i know how much make up these people put on.

This can NOT be the first time you've seen a celeb without any makeup!?

http://blondfrombirth.org/Images/pamela%20anderson%20no%20makeup.jpg

http://www.icircle.com/images/library/asis330200454549PM.jpg

http://www.hereinreality.com/makeup/christinawithout.jpg

Wow. I always thought she was cute, in a pixy-ish way, albeit much too thin. I wouldn't have picked her out in a crowd of two, with me as the other person. Not that two makes a crowd, unless you count all the disembodied voices.

OH.....MY.....GOD!

I don't think it is a bad pic, because she has been looking like this for like a year now.....She is turning into the person she lives with.....Just like Brad Pitt did with Angelina. She is now "Harrisona Flockhart".

That's not her. That's a picture of Tracy Ullman

whoa, just whoa! i think that really is her...check out this pic, taken feb 2nd, i think shes even wearing the same earrings?? yes??

http://www.imdb.com/gallery/granitz/4321/Events/4321/CalistaFlo_Grani_7252173_400.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Flockhart,%20Calista

I would LOOOOVE to see what half of you people look like. We all know Calista is a pretty woman. So what .. she's NOT wearing make-up in this picture, maybe she's not having a good day, maybe it's just a bad angle. I'm sure not all of you come out looking smoking hot in every picture you've ever taken. Geeze, no need to be so damn mean!

Where'd her lips go? Did someone pull a Viktor Yushchenko on her?

Happy_Bunny! OMG that is fucking hilarious!

Hoo Hah, that's one for the Celebrities-Without-Makeup website.

Harrison Ford's movies have made $3.8 BILLION world wide. Why would he be willing to wake up with that?

*douche chill shiver*

looks like that ugly chick from 24, doesn't it? i don't know her name...she was the blind chick in road trip

She looks like a ancient kiebler elf

MISSB, Flockhart has never been pretty, ever.
The only reason she was cast in that show is because she looked and acted like a anorexic neurotic bird.
She still looks like a nuerotic bird, she just isnt anorexic anymore(which is good, shes a mom). I guess all of her claims to just having a naturally high metabolism can be tossed out the window.

She was the pioneer for the "smellsomethingfunny" look that is so popular with the younger actresses like Jennifer Garner and Keira Knightley.

I hate that look, hate her for it and hate all actresses that use it, but I'm glad she is eating.

Um.... this is her at the 2006 premiere of Firewall with Ford... I'm not a huge fan for Flockheart, but she looks pretty good to me

http://www.calistaflockhart.allstarz.org/gallery/details.php?image_id=15781&sessionid=d7c5e0da277aba9dd790f65cb2ecfcdb

Give her a break, everybody's ugly at times if they have no make up on/are making a face and their hair's unkept.

I have never considered her beautiful and it annoys the hell out of me when the media call women beautiful just because they are celebrities. As for the posters who are always asking about what people who comment on this site look like, I can say that at my age I look way better than these women w/o makeup. I think a woman's beauty should be judged on what she looks like without makeup.If I had a makeup artist to do my makeup I'm sure I would be gorgeous.

Re my #5 : Well after seeing her Firewall premiere pix, things are a bit dif.
As long as she leaves a few carts near the door - I'm willing to say she looks a lot better.
(I hope he didn't force her to sit through the movie)

you just know her breath is got a be bad too.
Also, she may be finally man enough for Harrison Ford.

Okay, so her face is now a fantasy monster.
But what do you do with a concave ass.

You know it's trouble when your boyfriend's eyes get dreamy when he's with you but he's actually staring at the ass of a 12 year old boy behind you.

she looks more like a character from the temple of doom.

I bet all her co-workers on Ally McBeal are starting to wonder why they starved themselves to look like her.

I hear Harrison's latest movie is unwatchable, so perhaps she is in mourning for her partner's career demise.

Hmm... remember that TNG episode when Troi's boyfriend started dumping his emotional baggage into the minds of women to maintain inner piece, but it aged them at an incredible rate?

That must be what's happening with Flockhart. Harrison Ford's been looking like ten years younger lately, while Calista's looking about 30 years older than she is.

Guys, give her a break. It's obvious that she just got into a laser sword fight with Sam Jackson. Everyone knows you don't use force lightning when you get into laser sword fights with Sam Jackson ... and you don't stick around when he starts quoting the Old Testament. Unfortunately, it seems Ms. Flockhart has never watched a Sam Jackson movie.

"You mean?... is it really true?... say it isn't so Obi Wan!... 75% of the monkey spanking visuals can be attributed to make-up hair, lighting and the wonders of digital photography and Air Brushing??!"

"Yes, Luke, you have now learned the secret of the Farce er Force."

I love pictures like Calista's. They put the "P" in perspective.

I'm sure everyone has seen this stuff:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/celeb.html
http://www.hereinreality.com/makeup.htm
http://www.funlol.com/pictures/celebs-without-makeup.html

etc., etc., etc. ...

LMAO @ #3 - she looks like master splinter.
OMFG...I have never laughed harder at a post or a comment. That was hyseterical. She actually does look like a mutant sewer rat. Harrison should not let her leave the house like that.

BTW Papa...you are magical. I almost fell over from the Dorito comment. I Heart The Superficial!

I just had an epiphany! Perhaps she has landed the roll of Smeigel's mother in the much awaited prequel...Gollum: Before the Ring.
Makes sense to me now.

yep, thats her. look at that wierd nose! you cant miss that baby!

she looks so pale and dead. Oh My God!

it seems like EVERYONE in the entertainment business is just UGLY! minus the make-up and they're trash. So quit drooling at those people in your glossy magazine pages and TV screen and pay attention to the real beauty staring right back at you in your mirror! At the real beauty sitting right next to you!

eww what the hell? i was getting all 'Oprah Winfrey' for a second there *cough*

encore! give us another, 'Superficial! more rich ugly people to laugh at, please

Yeah Glam you were definitely getting a little Oprah on us but you have an excellent point. All of us would look just as good, if not better, if we had the personal stylists, make up artists and trainers that these celebs all have.

If my boyfriend ever claims that I look ugly first thing in the morning I swear I'm gonna give him this picture and ask him who he'd rather wake up next to...me or this thing.

That freaky dancing baby on her show is starting to look real good next to her

Her mug is the facial equivalent of Sharon Stones dried up old beaver.

Wow. Anybody else think she looks startlingly like Master Yoda? Dye her green and puff her hair up a bit and I think she'd be a passable Yoda.

I was in love with Calista Flockhart for over a decade because of how elegant she made anorexia. She took a very unpublicized eating disorder and made it into a fasion statement for the masses. Although she looks like a total mess here, I still salute her for being a revolutionary of style. She was willing to face death via starvation to avoid this look, and sister I think it's time to start going hungry once more. Let's bring back the girl that made the magic behind the hit TV show Ally Macbeal and show everyone what Skeletor looks like on the red carpet once more.

Holly cow... maybe there's something nefariuous in Harrison Ford's bodily fluids. Please stop the golden showers, Calista.

she's probably recovering from some plastic surgery or something but MY GOD!

Are you kidding? This woman is the poster child for plastic surgery. She better get on it quick - eyes and jowels. FUGLY.

You have GOT to post something new -- I get scared every time I open up your site and see her scary, 50-year-old sheet white face!

Ally,wtf happened,i loved you only a few years ago!!!Portia,Lucy Lui,that krakowski(sp)all look good still,jeez what in Satans crotch has happened,sob!!

I didn't know morgues could take such great photos. Good lighting, guys. She almost looks alive.

my eyes have never been blinded by such beauty. I'll always like Harrison Ford for Indiana Jones though.

She looks very tight and tense...kinda like a ferret.

I woke up sick with a cold this morning and even I don't look that bad... and that's saying a lot.

@ 88 Indiana ? If she keeps that look up - I think he's going to be doing a lot more 'Hands-Solo' around the house.
Not that there's anything wrong with that, I suppose.

this picture's killing me

Looks like Calista ate the Burger King guy.

ENOUGH! Move on! Post something new already!

Here. I'll give you a boost.

CNN: Adam Sandler, Kevin James to wed?

http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/Movies/02/09/film.sandler.reut/index.html

LOS ANGELES, California (Hollywood Reporter) -- Adam Sandler and Kevin James are in negotiations to play firefighters who pretend to be a gay couple in an upcoming film comedy, "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry."

Just . . . Anything!!!

I want her makeup artist.

Seriously, she looks like Yoda's little sister. Maybe Yoda's older sister, actually. Holy Shit, she hit the wall and it fell on her.

What's sad is that now anorexics are going to whip out her picture and go, "You see? You see what happens when you eat something?"

how come she got FOUR eyebrows???

Cheek implants - that's her problem.
They never work, Calista...

http://editorial.gettyimages.com/source/search/details_pop.aspx?iid=56733588&cdi=0

hey, i liked her in Ally McBeal. it was one of my favorite shows. be nice :P i mean, yeah, she isn't the prettiest person on the planet, but she's not a skank like Parasite Hilton and saggy Spears or anything. i only hate skanks. hehe.

she looks straight horrible. i never thought she was pretty but dag, the miracles of make-up. did anyone see that new add with drew barrymore she looks gorgeous. i never thought she was ugly but in this add she is strikingly beautiful, again the miracles of make-up.

I THOUGHT I'D CLICKED ON ROTTEN.COM WHEN I SAW THAT PIC.

Update this site please.

Would you please update this ridiculous excuse for an entertaining website???

I was not even aware of the fact that faces can have cellulite. It's probably just a combo of the awful lighting & her sickly pallor, but looking at that picture is like looking down in to a bowl of lumpy mashed potatoes... or master splinter lol comment #3.

dudleymax1 and NewGuy:

The Superficial doesn't update on the weekends, asshats. You'd know that if you were a site regular. Be patient and wait until Monday.

thanks heather. asshat, huh? and from which university did you graduate? dropped your thesaurus? this site gets paid for each hit. the very least thing they can do is update it. i don't care to line their pockets. oh, and it's no badge of honor to be a "site regular."

TO: dudleymax1
From Wikipedia: Asshat is a slightly more trendy and less severe variation of asshole, graphically describing someone who has his "head up his ass" (i.e., not knowing what's going on), or a variation of "butthead". In the former sense, it is suggested that one is wearing one's ass for a hat, or alternately, a hat for one's ass (Some people view it as that from the waist up, you are a hat for your own ass.). A more modern usage of asshat describes a person doing something stupid, and can apply to anyone.
So before questioning someone's language, check it out... asshat!

I think she's wearing someone else's face.

hee hee, hobo Flockhart

Slang dictionary? Is that what you're using to write your term paper at the community college or are you emailing from work? Hey, this week you're on mop duty, maybe next week you'll make fries. I'm off to perezhilton for some decent commentary.

For dudleymax1: Just FYI...

http://www.encircling.us/gallery/albums/humorous/normal_asshat.jpg

OTOH, it really is time to get this scrotal sac off the lead story, as I'm tired of cleaning the vomit out of my keyboard every time I hit this page. I mean, if you must leave something up all weekend, get something less disgusting, like Paris' cooze or puppies in a blender.

- AD -

to Asbestos Dust ...now THAT'S funny. thank you. finally someone with a sense of humor.

SAPPY14
EXACTLY what I was thinking. She soooo reminds me of that movie.

dudleymax1
You're questioning others' education but you don't even know how to properly punctuate or begin a sentence... I must inform you that a sentence ALWAYS starts with a capital letter. There are no exceptions to this rule, you asshat.

I love internet fights! They're so fun to watch...um, I mean, read!

"Binky-I honestly think your senseless comments add meaning to my life and of course they excite me sexually."
Binky : Well - hey thanks anonymous fan - it's either this or get a job you know...And I've heard those 'Rubber Rockets' (tm) work as well.
Maybe see ya Monday

(MAYBE THEY COULD USE A WEEKEND GUY/GAL)

dudleymax1:

I'm a student at UC Berkeley, for your information. Does that burst your balls?

This just goes to show you that beauty is transitory and in the end, we will all look like dried up mushrooms. Now if you starve yourself (like Calista) or smoke or drink too much, that day will just come a little more quickly than others'.

Heather says, "I'm a student at UC Berkeley, for your information. Does that burst your balls?"

I've known several people attending that particular institution, and none struck me with the total lack of patience and politeness that you have done with your single post above. Congratulations, you ought to be proud.

I enjoy coming to this site and reading the amusing comments, but if being a regular does that to you I think I'd be happy to leave again.

As for Calista, well... uh... I guess when you're super-skinny and your face is 3 times wider than your thigh, you know you'll be in trouble if the thigh puts on weight later on... cuz there ain't spot-reduction nor spot-expansion...

Dear Heather:

You're an idiot.

It's Monday, update this stupid site asshats.

P.S.

Heather, "Burst is your balls" is not an actual expression. Maybe you mean "bust your balls"???

Even still that expression would have no application to this situation. Idiot.

Somebody Said: Heather, "Burst is your balls" is not an actual expression. Maybe you mean "bust your balls"???

I dunno -- ball bursting or ball busting both seem likely to be uncomfortable. Personally I tend to avoid any ball-related activity that doesn't involve cuddling, potential lipstick transfer, and/or personal lubricants. My best advice is to give 'em both (busting and bursting) a miss, if ya can. If not, at least get some JPEGS so the rest of us can get a laugh...

- AD -

This is just a bad picture... we all take bad pictures. On IMDB there are recent pics of her, and she doesn't look anything like this.

What the fuck is that? I guess that Ally Mcbeal money's finally dried up! No wonder she has to stay as thin as a toothpic. Otherwise, it's just horrendous.

Maybe it’s a defense mechanism like a puffer fish.

Bet next time you see her she will look fabulous! Ahhh how nice it must be to have makeup artists and hair stylists and TONS of money!!

All of a sudden Harrison Ford looks really young again. Whadaya say to Indiana Jones 4, Harrison.

She looks like the pickled head in the garage from 'Silence of the Lambs'. Actually, she looks like every pickled head, that has ever existed. Its as if all of the pickled heads ever had a meeting (as lets face it, they're still around - they are pickled) and made Calista their pickled patron. Just like when all the scrotums in the world got together and nominated Michael Douglas as their 'Most favourite mascot ever'.

It's her, with pale winter skin, no makeup and bad lighting.

That's why I sleep all day. Like a vampire!

whoaa hun, halloween isnt until october

Dude, It could be possible she's battling some terribly disease..like cancer..or on steroids for some illness...it'll make ya all ugly and puffy lookin'

DAMN. Please somebody, give her back The Ring.