January 03, 2006
Star Jones hits the beach

Looking at Star Jones in a swimming suit has given me an out of control boner.
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Comments
1. Posted by Michelle on January 3, 2006 07:02 AM
Is it me, or is her head 200% bigger now?
2. Posted by Arjuno on January 3, 2006 07:15 AM
If I wasn't queer before I saw this picture, seeing her in a bathing suit surely would've pushed me over the edge. Ugh. I may never get another erection. Thanks, Star.
3. Posted by Shawn on January 3, 2006 07:52 AM
The second photo looks like the still shots taken from that Bigfoot sighting video.
Anyone else suddenly hungry for chocolate pudding?
4. Posted by uncommonamerican on January 3, 2006 08:39 AM
I can't find Star in this picture...all I see is dude, dude, walrus, dude, dude, manatee, dude...
5. Posted by jon on January 3, 2006 08:41 AM
No less than an indestructible boner.
6. Posted by Dwibble on January 3, 2006 08:46 AM
I can top that! I can top that! Click on name for URL link! :-)
7. Posted by MacMac on January 3, 2006 08:53 AM
I am shocked that nobody mentioned the first photo yet. Maybe it's just me...
Doesn't it look like Al is being mounted by the Starbeast?
8. Posted by James Earl Cash on January 3, 2006 09:33 AM
"The second photo looks like the still shots taken from that Bigfoot sighting video."
Hahah! ...It's funny because it's true.
9. Posted by jennjenn70 on January 3, 2006 09:48 AM
"The second photo looks like the still shots taken from that Bigfoot sighting video."
So friggin' true.
I hate that bitch!!
10. Posted by IvoryFingers on January 3, 2006 10:44 AM
The Star Jones ballon has escaped!
Run for your lives!
11. Posted by bafongu on January 3, 2006 10:51 AM
No, No, this mistake happens all the time. That's a picture of Jobu Moghandishu, leader of the Urdu tribe. He's often mistaken for Star Jones.
12. Posted by Jewbacca on January 3, 2006 11:22 AM
BLACK PEOPLE AT THE BEACH? THEY CAN SWIM NOW???
13. Posted by Tai! on January 3, 2006 11:44 AM
wow, that is so not funny
14. Posted by Shawn on January 3, 2006 11:52 AM
If Kevin Federline is allowed to rap, black people are allowed to swim.
15. Posted by turtlecock on January 3, 2006 11:56 AM
She looks like Beetlejuice or is it .... Blacksqwach?
16. Posted by CelebGossipAficionado on January 3, 2006 12:22 PM
I don't know what's more painful on my eyes...the pictures, or some of the half-assed attempts at humor above. Hmmmm....
17. Posted by sara on January 3, 2006 12:22 PM
so in the first one, she's giving it to al like he's used to?
18. Posted by Kevin on January 3, 2006 12:25 PM
I think my penis inverted and is stabbing me in my spleen. Ow! My spleen!
19. Posted by YouProablbySuck on January 3, 2006 12:38 PM
"If Kevin Federline is allowed to rap, black people are allowed to swim."
Scratch that, if PATRICK SWAYZE and PARIS HILTON are allowed to rap, than black people are allowed to swim.
20. Posted by CrimsonGal on January 3, 2006 01:23 PM
I'm sure Al would rather have one of the other "manly men" on the beach slathering on the sunscreen - instead of that massive tranny he married.
21. Posted by i love the oughts on January 3, 2006 01:27 PM
i realize that her face isn't the focus of these pictures, but it's amazing how losing weight can actually have a negative aesthetic effect on some people. it's especially amazing when the people are still fat.
22. Posted by aziajs on January 3, 2006 02:07 PM
Every time I see them together, especially in pics like this where she has got all of her lovliness out for the world to see, I keep thinking, "big gay Al is not f#$@ing her!!!!" This is Terry McMillan all over again.
23. Posted by Belle on January 3, 2006 02:49 PM
I would like to point out Star is a winner in the 'winners and losers of weight loss/gain' for 2005 in the newest National Enquirer, or Star, or one of those other rags I always buy. Which means that she is a winner for having a gorgeous new figure. Apparently, the writers at National Enquirer/Star/whatever magazine I was reading have not seen Star Jones in the past ten years. Or so.
24. Posted by PapaHotNuts on January 3, 2006 03:56 PM
In the first pic, she appears to be taking a snap from the center, but the football is actually Al's head. And in a strange variation from footabll, she eats Al's entire body. Then in pic 2, we see her returning to the huddle of 10 terrified teamates.
25. Posted by sammygirl on January 3, 2006 05:08 PM
That bigfoot comment is hilarious. I can't stop laughing.
In the first picture she definitely looks like she's mounting Al. I guess she's the pitcher and he's the catcher.
26. Posted by radio3play on January 3, 2006 05:37 PM
looks like evolution skipped her. she looks like a caveman in the second picture.
27. Posted by Kikileblue on January 3, 2006 05:46 PM
wow i think i am now offically blind. star jones hasa horrible shape u think brit is a poatao then check this out. brit has an excuse this thing dosent i mean why does she look that way it is really scary she looks like someone did a horrible photoshop and it ghas come alive to terrorize us with bad jokes and horrid outfits. i wont even metion the ass radier she calls her man though i will say if you read tha al reynolds is in the hospital with massive back injuries due to the fact that what appered to be an oddly shaped elephant sat on him at the bech dont be surprised.
28. Posted by Craig & "em" on January 3, 2006 06:02 PM
This is a really cool pic. I've never seen a horse ride a man before, nevertheless walking on just 2 legs. Kudos to Superficial... WOW WE...Where do you find this stuff?
29. Posted by OMG! on January 3, 2006 06:56 PM
Oh come on, that first pic is just TOO EASY!
30. Posted by carrie bradshaw on January 3, 2006 07:17 PM
With her sitting on him like that, won't the circulation to his legs be completely cut off? Isn't he aware of the danger?
as a side note- who is the manly stud muffin behind her in the blue and white trunks rockin out the back hair? rrowrr!
31. Posted by VanillaSalTyBaLLs on January 3, 2006 07:35 PM
I didn't know Glad garbage bags came in red!!!
32. Posted by HughJorganthethird on January 3, 2006 07:36 PM
fuck im hungry
33. Posted by aims_25 on January 3, 2006 07:47 PM
I'm having a really, really hard time making my decision but which pic is more disgusting: this one or the one of skinny Nicole? I don't know but if it were possible to transfer weight between two people they could make a happy medium each.
34. Posted by amma on January 3, 2006 09:21 PM
...I can't believe I'm saying this, but she actually looked better when she was heavier. Forget the body--that's never gonna happen. At least when she was fatter she would have never thought to wear a bathing suit. But her head! Her face! Its effing freaky! I shudder to think if she keeps losing weight what she will look like as a "normal" sized person...At least before she did have a pretty face/hair in a kind of tranny way...
35. Posted by Miette on January 3, 2006 09:39 PM
I agree with amma. She looked better fat. Now she just looks weird, weird, weird.
36. Posted by Jeremy1Esq on January 3, 2006 11:26 PM
I dont know why, but I have this sudden urge to book an African Safari
37. Posted by EZSlut on January 4, 2006 08:30 AM
She looks more like the snapshot of evolution chart http://www.canmag.com/images/front/moviesetc/evolutionchart.jpg (2nd one from left).
38. Posted by J-Bo on January 4, 2006 08:43 AM
Wheres the beach? Because it looks like she's giving that dude in the first pic the old "federal pen, pound you in the ass" handshake. Not to mention the fact that 4 burly fireman are standing off camera, waiting to ride her to a burning house.
39. Posted by reesestet on January 4, 2006 09:01 AM
Look at the size of her man-package! lol
40. Posted by Marietta Fortune on January 4, 2006 12:00 PM
See! This is the problem with that damn bypass surgery. She drops three, four hundred pounds and thinks its alright to subject people to her sagging thigh ripples. And thank you for reminding me of what my grandmother looked like in a bathing suit- it took years of therapy to erase that from my memory. Stupid sasquatch!
*Props to Shawn! -too GD funny!
41. Posted by sammygirl on January 4, 2006 02:15 PM
Notice how every man in these pictures is looking away from her, including Al.
42. Posted by susie-q on January 4, 2006 03:20 PM
I didn't even recognize her on the View after not having seen it for awhile. I thought she had been replaced. That's Whoopie Goldberg in the second pic.
43. Posted by turtlecock on January 4, 2006 03:42 PM
You know your body sux when your FUPA comes out further than your gorilla boobs.
FUPA = Fat Upper P* Area
so this term can apply to both males and females. I don't know WTF Star Jones is.
Maybe they're not so much as gorilla boobs than beagle ears... or flapjacks.
44. Posted by BOOTSY COLLINS on January 4, 2006 04:15 PM
i feel sorry for that poor horse whos hair she ripped off...whats up with that...
45. Posted by Bacon Eating Atheist Jew on January 4, 2006 09:49 PM
Star Jones is ignorant. She hates atheists. She wears animals. I'm glad she lost her red carpet gig. My blogsite has a comparison of her to Bigfoot. No wonder she hate the idea of evolution.
46. Posted by Jeremy1Esq on January 4, 2006 09:53 PM
I used to think the biggest idiot who ever married was Britney Spears when she married KFed, but after seeing these pictures, I have to think the new all time idiot is Star's husband Al. I dont care how much money Star has, you couldnt pay me enough to marry her and have to look at her naked, on the beach, and have to also bang her on occasion. And no one loves money more then me.
47. Posted by Skippy on January 4, 2006 11:36 PM
At least she's slimmer than she once was...
48. Posted by prd88 on January 5, 2006 11:46 AM
Looks like bigfoot on the beach to me.
49. Posted by Jgirl on January 6, 2006 03:53 AM
Well If anyone feels bad about the black people can't swim thing..don't worry they usually have floating devices..particularly around the rear. Or if you are a white person and u cant swim like the fat guy behind star in the picture on the right well he has no floating device around the rear as you can see so he will probrally sink. But he probrally has a pot belly to make up for that. Why is it that fat people like to make fun of other fat people..i guess because it's fun! I bet most of the people in this room have a little pudge..well that's a whole nother message board.
50. Posted by pickles on January 6, 2006 01:26 PM
She does look like bigfoot!
She also looks frightening. I caught sight of her on The View yesterday morning and holy hell she's creepy. Big bulgy eyes, bulgy forehead, and that neck! Ugh.
51. Posted by Wiseromancer on January 9, 2006 11:04 AM
You've got to admit she must have the best PR firm in the whole entire galaxy. Anyone who can take a fugly, obnoxious, no-talent, self-absorbed bag of lumpy turds and have her wedding become a media "event" has earned his/her keep. Now she's published a BOOK? "Shine"? It's about her, so she has the first three letters of the title right, but really ...
52. Posted by lne on January 15, 2006 03:20 PM
well black people today do teach their kids to swim and that's the only contradiction I will make here.
However, I no longer even like Star Jones - she was on Prime Time last week and wouldn't share if she had the big gastric bypass surgery or the smaller, less risky adjustable gastric band (Lap-Band) but she did not hesitate to discuss her husband's sexual orientation!!!?!?!?!?!?????
Geesh, I do believe her priorities are totally fubar'd. And it's always about her!
I cannot stand a lot of men because it's always about them....but Star Jones is exactly the same, just the *other* gender.
And then, The View....I used to love that show but now all those women talk at the same time and nobody can make heads or tails out of what they are saying during Hot Topics. They even make fun of the ladies of the The View on MADTV and SNL and other comedy shows about this very thing, the 5 heads all chatting at one time.
Did you know that 50% of all gastric surgery patients, once they lose the weight, their marriages break up? If you don't believe me - go google for it. I happen to work for GBS doctors.
Star and Al will be history before we all know it and then she'll probably re-gain it all back.....like Carney Wilson (yeah, I know she had a baby in April 2005 but she now weighs close to 200, actually 188 as of a couple of weeks ago).
*lol* -
53. Posted by LaydeeBug on February 2, 2006 04:26 PM
OH....MY.....GAWD....Once again, stomach surgery ain't worth sheeeit if you are completely unwilling to lift one foot in exercise. Now she looks like a sloppy, droopy, OLD hag-bag. All that fame and money and she STILL won't get a gym membership. Star Jones is full of CRAP. She used to be all "I'm big AND beautiful" (moves head from side to side). Where did that go huh?