December 30, 2005
Naomi Campbell is not artificial
Naomi Campbell denies ever undergoing cosmetic surgery, insisting sobriety, exercise and her Ethiopian heritage are responsible for her good looks. I'm assuming she also denies being a man, though to my knowledge no one has ever asked the question, for fear of getting a fork in the nuts.
Naomi says, "I just take care of my body. I don't drink alcohol and I work out for two hours a day. I don't see myself as gorgeous and I'm fed up with people saying I've had plastic surgery and lipo. I don't need it because black don't crack. My grandmother has fantastic genes and only has about one wrinkle."
I really like the expression "black don't crack". It's a small deviation from her usual quote: "I'm black and I do crack" or "crack is wack, let's go back to the shack and do some smack." The fact is she can say whatever the hell she wants, because she's rich and terrifying, kinda like a werewolf winning the lottery. Just stay the hell away.
Campbell Denies Surgery [Contact Music]
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Comments
1. Posted by giantpores on December 30, 2005 02:23 PM
Cabaret:
1) you username indicates that you are an obese homosexual
2) your = you're
3) its self = itself
4) irony is rich and delicious.
2. Posted by seniorscoopp on December 30, 2005 02:28 PM
irony shmimoney..
moron schmoron...
cabaret schmabert..
3. Posted by superD on December 30, 2005 02:49 PM
Best SF post in a LONG time.
4. Posted by Kim on December 30, 2005 03:37 PM
Cabaret, if you think the superficial's jokes aren't funny, why do you waste your time reading and posting your comments???
I don't care if everything here is absolutely true, it's just for entertainment. And it's always fun to laugh at celebrities whether the rumors are true or not.
5. Posted by fatgirl on December 30, 2005 03:50 PM
Ditto, superD!!!
6. Posted by prideofchucky on December 30, 2005 03:58 PM
BEST....POST..... EVER!!!!!!!!!!!
I practically did a spit take with my coffee. I'm SO gonna make a t-shirt with the words, "THE BLACK DON'T CRACK!".
Oh my god, thank you Superficial & thank you Ms. Campbell. The world is a little greener now...
7. Posted by WaitWhat? on December 30, 2005 04:02 PM
I'm not sure how this chick ever became a supermodel to begin with. I'm almost sure she at least had surgery to go from being an ugly man to being any ugly woman.
8. Posted by APINK on December 30, 2005 04:49 PM
I have to agree with WaitWhat?'s post. She is really hideous!!! And from what I've read elsewhere a huge bitch too. Isn't she the one who's gotten into trouble for beating up her employees (i.e. personal assistants)?
9. Posted by drowningfool on December 30, 2005 05:42 PM
I've heard that if she dissaproves of someone she sees, whether on the street, or in a business meeting, she immediately holds her head up high and spits in the person's face as a way of showing that she is a superior being. She also gets the urge every once in a while to kick homeless people in the face for sport. It really makes her day. Good person, though, good person.
10. Posted by Lynette Carrington on December 30, 2005 05:59 PM
QUICK! EVERYBODY DUCK! It's an incoming cell phone being hurled by Naomi........
11. Posted by CantBeANun on December 30, 2005 06:00 PM
Black can't crack, but I highly doubt she never drinks alcohol. If she doesn't, she ought to be ashamed of her unruly "I'll beat everyone I see" attitude
12. Posted by Jonboy in SF on December 30, 2005 06:37 PM
I think girlfriend needs a big strong drink...to give to us so we can get drunk and forget her gawdawful superior attitude based on, er, her success based on, er, her looks? Um, yeah...not buying it. Girl was wack to begin with, no crack or smack needed.
13. Posted by Populist on December 30, 2005 06:52 PM
Gotta love it when these celebrities give racial reasons for their genetic superiority. Guess having African ancestors is why she's so good at chucking a phone at an assistant. And everyone knows that every 80 year old black woman has skin like a newborn baby's....
14. Posted by mrschickee on December 30, 2005 06:56 PM
You know what's funny? Cabaret's grammar is funny. And Naomi Campbell beating people down with cell phones and man-hands...that's really funny.
15. Posted by hafaball on December 30, 2005 07:17 PM
If i cared about her more i'd think it was funnier I guess...but hey, The Superficial has a troll now, doesn't that mean it's hitting the big time?
16. Posted by Tai! on December 30, 2005 07:18 PM
I think Naomi Campbell is a witch. An evil witch. That would completely explain why she is a supermodel. I have never met anyone who has found her attractive. She casts spells on Fashion Designers and a select few men. Thats the only reason she dates some hots guys and stays rich. Naomi Campbell practices Black Magic...lmao get it? "Black" magic.
17. Posted by SpiderMomma on December 30, 2005 08:07 PM
Are you sure she's not going to come after your nuts with a fork for this? Anyway, that was freakin' hilarious! Great post indeed.
18. Posted by Captain Awesome on December 30, 2005 08:38 PM
Black don't crack; they only smoke it.
19. Posted by VanillaSalTyBaLLs on December 30, 2005 08:40 PM
My name is K-Feed, let's smoke some weed and do the deed, I'll spill some of my demon seed. Popozao Y'all Indeed!!!
20. Posted by Leslie on December 30, 2005 09:14 PM
Giantpores, you're hilarious. Everyone else who's using the punchline of the joke to make lame-o racist jokes (no, I don't care if "you're only kidding", you still suck and are ugly) are very idiotic.
Naomi Campbell is hilarious and beautiful.
21. Posted by YouProablbySuck on December 30, 2005 09:30 PM
I agree Leslie.
Oh and Captain Awesome, you are so lame. I only knew that it was a matter of time before some unorginal moron would say something like that.
22. Posted by Mr Zoo on December 30, 2005 09:45 PM
from the sounds of things she could do with something artificial, and by that i mean artificial sweeteners because naomi is a fuc*ing bitch!
23. Posted by BobMarleysDead on December 30, 2005 10:15 PM
Naomi's heritage isn't Ethiopian it's Jamaican. And she has had a nose job. It's quite obvious. Makeup can't make the bridge of your nose disappear. Or can it?
24. Posted by BadGoat on December 30, 2005 11:32 PM
Naomi is a male super model which explains why all the gay fashion designers love her. It's disgusting how she can get away with treating people the way she does. What a sad empty man she is.
25. Posted by Captain Awesome on December 31, 2005 04:50 AM
Kanye West doesnt care for artificial black people.
26. Posted by sadietolstoy on December 31, 2005 06:44 AM
It's best to agree with whatever Naomi Campbell says, no matter how absurd, or you may have a fight on your hands.
27. Posted by Nurse Kellie on December 31, 2005 01:01 PM
She really has that nice quality of.....yes I've showered, but I still look like I would smell.....about her.
She made a pact with the devil...make me a supermodel and your spared the phone. Thats how she has gotten where she is today.
28. Posted by Linnea on December 31, 2005 01:20 PM
She kind of looks like an enraged bull. I wouldn't wear red around her.
29. Posted by derekd on December 31, 2005 10:13 PM
I think I remember reading her getting busted with ecstasy during the ecstasy craze of the late 90's. Plus she's good friends with whatshertwat's name. The one who got busted doing lines of coke. She definately still parties. She definately makes my list of bitches I would like to hate fuck. 4 outta 10.
30. Posted by I love K-fed's Corn Rolls on January 1, 2006 01:20 AM
Well said Derekd...
Anyone who supports Kate Moss and tells people that coke is not a big deal and that they should forget it can not be taken seriously when talking about her own "lack" of plastic surgery, or drinking. Someone that hangs out with Sean "Puffy" Combs doesn't drink???
She is 35 and OPRAH looks better than her... THAT"S what crack does kids...
31. Posted by bcgirl on January 1, 2006 06:09 PM
Posted by derekd on December 31, 2005 10:13 PM :" She definately makes my list of bitches I would like to hate fuck. 4 outta 10. "
You have a " LIST " of bitches you want to hate fuck????? Well... isn't that just precious.Right on ,sick fuck, keep on having your little deluded dreams . Just in case you were not aware ,at times closeted faggets(people not sure of their sexual preference),you know the really FAKE macho types, have serious misplaced hate ISSUES with women . Jealousy,envy,anger,etc,,,
. Talking about," hate fucking," is pretty well putting yourself in that category.But....... if you are just jokin' around.. and you're not REALLY serious....well, so am I.
32. Posted by derekd on January 1, 2006 09:34 PM
I thought the "hate list" thing would ruffle a few feathers. Chill out bcgirl. Take a midol or something. Of course its a joke. What do you mean, "So am I"? You weren't very clear on that. If you think you've never been hate fucked before then I guess you've never had make-up sex.