December 14, 2005
Here comes another Lohan
All the Lohan stalkers already know about her little sister's impending fame, but this is the first I've heard of Ali. Since Dad did an ear bleedingly efficient job turning Lindsey into a no talent nutcase with anorexic tendencies, Momma Lohan will surely be pulling out all the stops to out-do him.
Ali — who will be managed by her mom Dina — recently starred in Lindsay's music video Confessions Of A Broken Heart, based on their stormy relationship with 44-year-old father Michael. Ali plays Lindsay in the video and is seen tearing her hair out as her father punches her mother. Lindsay, who also began her career when she was 12, recently said of Ali's performance: "I cried when I saw it. It is like therapy in a way."
This is wrong on so many levels: forcing a 12-year-old to relive the abusive antics of her deranged father, having Lindsay be her measuring stick for success, or simply having to be born into such a disfunctional family. It's going to take all night to rank which will force this girl to develop a drug problem first. Then In about six years, we can all look forward to the Penthouse super celebrity skank edition, featuring a showdown among the Spears and Lohan sisters.
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» Brandon Routh is packing
Comments
1. Posted by thunt on December 14, 2005 08:35 PM
Why not go for three with the Simpson Sisters.... This is going to be one jam packed issue!
2. Posted by Belle on December 14, 2005 08:38 PM
Why exactly did Ali play Lindsay in Lindsay's music video? Shouldn't *Lindsay* play Lindsay...?
3. Posted by hongkie2003 on December 14, 2005 08:42 PM
don't forget the skankiest of the skanks - the hilton sisters!
4. Posted by BurnZ on December 14, 2005 09:24 PM
Maybe she could team up with Ashley Simpson for a duet. Ashley could lipsinc and lohan could just stand in front of her so we don't have to look at or listen to her no-talent trashy ass.
5. Posted by andrea22 on December 14, 2005 09:36 PM
Awww, Lohan's little sister!!! What a shame!! She's so ugly!
6. Posted by Captain Awesome on December 14, 2005 09:46 PM
I would so hit that.
*cough*
7. Posted by Bill Clinton on December 14, 2005 10:56 PM
How can I masterbate to that pic?
8. Posted by Georgia on December 14, 2005 10:58 PM
That girl is ugly and sings like Hilary Duff!
What have we done to deserve this?
9. Posted by Lynette Carrington on December 14, 2005 11:13 PM
So, why is it when one sibling is famous, the other one is or feels like they need to ride the coat tails? Hmmm, Swayze, Stallone, Ford now Lohan, Spears, Simpson.....I'm sure hell is pretty close to freezing over right about now. Come to think of it, Katie Holmes uh...erm...Kate Cruise is probably carrying the anti-Christ.
10. Posted by HollyJ on December 14, 2005 11:34 PM
If the next article is about Jamie Lynn Spears making a music video, I'm going to hurl.
11. Posted by Jewbacca on December 15, 2005 12:12 AM
I'd like to see a Surreal Life with The Spears Sistas, The Simpson Sisters and the The Lohan Sistas. But I'd like it to air on the Spice channel and me be the only male in the house! Smelly stank kooze for me!!!!
12. Posted by bafongu on December 15, 2005 08:44 AM
They need to put a fence around Hollywood and post guards at the gate. It never ceases to amaze me how those incestuous bores promote the drecks from within. No talent sleeze bucket hacks are pushed on the public because someone screwed someone or bought crack from this one or that. Ali Lohan? Ashlet Simpson? Throwing fresh turds at the wall makes a more pleasing sound than those two ever will.
13. Posted by alteaon on December 15, 2005 10:12 AM
This girl looks like most tween little sisters. Awkward and gawky, not yet grown into themselves. The reason she may have played Lindsay's role in the video is because she was supposed to be a younger lindsay.
She's not mind blowingly hot, because she's pretty much a little kid yet. If you think she's hot, then there are some pedophiliac tendencies.
14. Posted by julema on December 15, 2005 02:15 PM
Anybody can be a singer!!!!!It'a a shame for the real talented artist. And like her older sister, she will gets her first breast implants in about 3 years!!!Linsay know how it pay.
15. Posted by Brittany on December 15, 2005 03:15 PM
Did anyone else think she looked like Laura Flynn Boyle in the video? I was like "What is the Alien from MIBII doing in Lindsay Lohan's bedroom from 10 years ago?" Mind boggling.
16. Posted by Linnea on December 16, 2005 02:03 AM
When I heard that was her younger sister in the video I was actually really upset. And as a jaded, cynical, poet who spends most of her time kicking babies and eating kittens, that's saying something. But Jesus...what a horrible idea.
17. Posted by naeco on December 16, 2005 02:25 AM
she's butt ass ugly and i bet her sister could give her some pointers on plastic surgery
18. Posted by ethicka on December 16, 2005 09:43 PM
She is fucking gorgeous.
19. Posted by SexualSuspect on December 19, 2005 12:17 PM
ANYONE IS BETTER THEN HAILEY DUFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
20. Posted by Sweet_cheeks on December 21, 2005 05:47 PM
quote" Why exactly did Ali play Lindsay in Lindsay's music video? Shouldn't *Lindsay* play Lindsay...? "
because if you ever watched the video you would see that she plays the 12 year old lindsey. she goes back to when she was younger to paint the picture of her broken home........Duh
21. Posted by ThatsHot on December 21, 2005 07:54 PM
There's a very simple soulution to this problem. Before she can even get started, someone (hopefully me) should tie her up in a burlap sack and drown her like an unwanted kitten. Not only is it an effective and simple solution, it's life imitating art. You know, 'cause she's unwanted like that kitten I just mentioned.