December 14, 2005
Brandon Routh is packing
Brandon Routh, who is set to play Superman in the upcoming movie, must be feeling that same pride I felt when I realized I needed to switch from Magnum to MagnumXL condoms. The actor's package will be digitally reduced because the movie execs found it too distracting.
The new Superman is giving movie bosses a headache - because of the size of his bulge.They fear Brandon Routh's profile in the superhero's skintight costume could be distracting, reports the Sun.
Hollywood executives have ordered the makers of Superman Returns to cover it up with digital effects.
The Sun's source said: "It's a major issue for the studio. Brandon is extremely well endowed and they don't want it up on the big screen.
Not only is this more proof that Hollywood executives ruin everything, but it suggests they have no interest in accurately portraying Kal-El (not that Kal-El) Think about it, Superman was definitely hung. All Kryptonians were. It has to do with gravity. It's science.
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Comments
1. Posted by Monkey on December 14, 2005 01:02 PM
Perhaps the the studio will release and "uncut" DVD version. Ha! Get it? Uncut? Yeah, today's comedians could really learn something from me.
2. Posted by *david on December 14, 2005 01:27 PM
Well that movie's ruined,
Superman's package should not be censored!
lol @ the 'uncut' DVD version
3. Posted by Horatio on December 14, 2005 01:45 PM
Good God, does Lindsay Lohan have a great rack.
4. Posted by saucerofmilktable5 on December 14, 2005 01:56 PM
Now if only they could digitally enhance Kate Bosworth's body to make her look less like a 12-year old boy...
5. Posted by CCClub on December 14, 2005 02:07 PM
Why must all our heros have the anatomy of a Ken doll? Maybe that was one of his lesser know powers?
"I use the hip super swivel and all line of sight is invariably drawn to my pants".
6. Posted by bafongu on December 14, 2005 02:22 PM
I know how awkward that can be. Girls are always looking at my crotch when I'm talking to them, they never make eye contact with me, and it's so hard to get pants that fit right. Gosh you'd think having this enormous piece would be a blessing, but it's sometimes a curse... ;-D
7. Posted by naeco on December 14, 2005 02:44 PM
It would be stupid for them to censor it and by doing it, it would draw less numbers that they could of had because of people wanting to see it (women and gays). BIG MISTAKE!!!!
8. Posted by naeco on December 14, 2005 02:44 PM
who cares if it's too distracting, ain't nobody complaining except for the incompetent jealous males.
9. Posted by SpiderMomma on December 14, 2005 02:50 PM
That is probably it. The execs are suffering from major penis envy.
10. Posted by Captain Awesome on December 14, 2005 03:42 PM
Ahhh yes, news from the truth factory that is http://www.ananova.com
Last time I checked out those promo photo shoot of fruity here, he was packing asian goods.
11. Posted by Juliette on December 14, 2005 04:09 PM
That's hot
12. Posted by youdontknow on December 14, 2005 04:15 PM
So, Jessica Alba admits that her breasts were digitally enhanced in the posters for Fantastic Four, yet this man's actual penis has to be minimized....because it's distracting. Ummm...yeah, that's not a glaring double standard.
13. Posted by MrPloppy on December 14, 2005 04:43 PM
youdontknow may well be right. But I’m sure I read some where they shrank Lindsay Lohans tits for the Herbie movie. And as for that plastic thing at the end of Boogie Nights...
14. Posted by Georgia on December 14, 2005 05:00 PM
Now I have no reason to see Superman.
I'm sick of Hollywood catering to men and always showing womens bodie.
I want to see MAN PARTS and I want them NOW!!!!!
15. Posted by heatherie on December 14, 2005 05:36 PM
can we see an undoctored picture? please?
16. Posted by andrewthezeppo on December 14, 2005 05:45 PM
This whole story is just BS to try and get gay men to be Brandon Routh fans....I saw those first pictures of him in the costume and the package was a far cry from distracting
17. Posted by Captain Awesome on December 14, 2005 05:49 PM
andrew is right,
All the posed shots of him that came out months ago of him in the suit only show what looks like ken doll syndrome, the guy is packing a smurf smoothie.
18. Posted by IKillChildren on December 14, 2005 06:18 PM
I've seen those pictures of him in that costume. And if those pics were already "digitally fixed" then he must be packing something bigger than MagnumXL because Jesus Christ....that's the type of guy that'll make you bleed just doing you doggie style.
19. Posted by derekd on December 14, 2005 09:35 PM
Haven't these people ever heard of a modesty cup? R they trying to tell us it wouldn't fit into one? Why is this making news? Its a bird! It's a plane! ITS SUPER PP!!!!!!!
20. Posted by Ing on December 14, 2005 09:42 PM
Jesus that is such a double standard..its about time us ladies got a bit of eye candy..they show women with nuthing on all the time..
21. Posted by dhampir on December 14, 2005 11:34 PM
Why are they even worrying about it? The only people that go to watch Superman are those 30 year old men who live in their mother's basement, watching re-runs of Starwars and eating Cheetos...wait...I completely understand.
22. Posted by Seamus Begonia Smell on December 15, 2005 08:53 AM
this COULD just be a publicity ploy to develop buzz around the movie and some interest in a relatively unknown star. but...
i love how they will digitally enhance women to be more overtly sexual (like christina ricci complained about her cleavage in the sleepy hollow promos), but when it comes to men, better not shatter any precious male egos! god forbid it may make them feel bad about themselves!
we're all superfical, give us the monster cock. please?
i googled brandon, but i couldnt find more than 2 body shots, and one was already altered. if anyone gets an unaltered shot (pre-superman, even), post the link!
23. Posted by drowningfool on December 15, 2005 11:53 AM
To all those women complaining that they always show women with nothing on and they never show men, here's the reason: Women are objects with no substance and men are what heros are made of. Its been that way since the dawn of time. It will always be that way. So women of the world show us what you got and if you aint got nothin' then go get surgery and if surgery doesn't work I heard its less painful if you tie the noose really tight around your neck before kicking the chair out. Thank you. Thank you very much.
24. Posted by drowningfool on December 15, 2005 11:54 AM
To all those women complaining that they always show women with nothing on and they never show men, here's the reason: Women are objects with no substance and men are what heros are made of. Its been that way since the dawn of time. It will always be that way. So women of the world show us what you got and if you aint got nothin' then go get surgery and if surgery doesn't work I heard its less painful if you tie the noose really tight around your neck before kicking the chair out. Thank you. Thank you very much.
25. Posted by drowningfool on December 15, 2005 12:01 PM
To all those women complaining that they always show women with nothing on and they never show men, here's the reason: Women are objects with no substance and men are what heros are made of. Its been that way since the dawn of time. It will always be that way. So women of the world show us what you got and if you aint got nothin' then go get surgery and if surgery doesn't work I heard its less painful if you tie the noose really tight around your neck before kicking the chair out. Thank you. Thank you very much.
26. Posted by drowningfool on December 15, 2005 12:02 PM
oops...didn't mean to post that three times. Sorry!
27. Posted by spamnews on December 15, 2005 12:48 PM
Ya, I'm thinking that this is all just a cover 'cause he is a little light in the crotch department and so now they have a ready-made excuse as to why, instead of the real reason which is he is hung like a housecat.
28. Posted by Linnea on December 16, 2005 02:10 AM
*Swoon*