December 08, 2005
Matt Damon knocks up fiancee
Matt Damon is like that kid down the street who was a couple of years younger than you while growing up. Whatever you did, be it joining the football team, having your first cigarette, or catching your first STD, he would always be about six months late with his inadequate imitation. Well now, like clockwork, Damon has impregnated his unbelievably hot fiancee, Luciana Borroso.
Matt Damon and fianceé Luciana Barroso are expecting their first child together, Access Hollywood has learned. Luciana is three months pregnant.
What angers me more than his Matt's zeal to be like Ben Affleck is the fact that he is spreading his seed. This poor woman should not be defiled in this manner. Hopefully this is all just a sick joke.
Previous Entries
» Demi Moore wants us to be beautiful» Jake Gyllenhaal is attracted to his sister
» Kevin Federline's credit cards are mostly worthless
» Whitney Houston might be a monster
» 50 Cent can't get the girls
Comments
1. Posted by rivercmb on December 8, 2005 09:47 PM
This is making my theory come closer to its terrible reality. Trophy wives and Dafleck babies
2. Posted by HollyJ on December 8, 2005 11:28 PM
HOT?! I'm inviting beaver Luciana over to trim my trees with her massive overbite. Can ANYONE find her bottom lip under those upper central incisors? Can't Matt afford to give her a row of bottom teeth or get his cow-lick lasered?
3. Posted by ebayfan414 on December 8, 2005 11:42 PM
I just got an e-mail from a source at people magazine...It seems that an intern working there botched up the article. This is what was SUPPOSED to be printed:
"In other news today, Ben Affleck has impregnated Matt Damon with his seed. We have just found out that Matt Damon is 3 months pregnant. We wish the happy couple much luck as they continue to suck at acting."
4. Posted by nikki on December 8, 2005 11:56 PM
wherever she is right now, Minnie Driver is PISSED. Matt is the one that got away. And Robbie Ginepri also kicked her to the curb. heh heh.
5. Posted by Katgirrrlll on December 9, 2005 01:06 AM
Unbelievably hot? Are you kidding me?? The woman looks like an Italian E.T.!!
6. Posted by bunny on December 9, 2005 03:56 AM
Unbelievable, yes. Hot? Not so much. She looks like a rabid chipmunk. Or an Italian ET. Or perhaps a rabid Italian chipmunk alien? Either way, it does not spell unbelievably hot.
7. Posted by slinkhard on December 9, 2005 05:28 AM
Stop with the babies, Hollywood, for the love of god!
8. Posted by alteaon on December 9, 2005 09:04 AM
Thank goodness I'm not the only one who thought that she is a little funny looking. She may the nicest person, she may have the best body, but even if you were blind, if you were to feel her face with your hands, it'd feel all droopy...and then you'd second guess your stance on bestiality
9. Posted by lebowski on December 9, 2005 10:22 AM
"Eh, what's up doc?"
*said in Italian*
10. Posted by FnHdl on December 9, 2005 01:42 PM
Unbelievably hot?? wow, clearly someone needs glasses. Very very strong glasses. Because that, my friend, is most certainly not "hot".
11. Posted by martini1275 on December 9, 2005 02:59 PM
Thank GOD!!! I thought I was the only one that thought she was BUTT! Yeah, I guess Matt has to be a good catholic boy and marry the ugly chick he knocked up. At least Affleck married someone good-looking.
12. Posted by snakehandlerpro on December 9, 2005 03:27 PM
Not only hot but UNBELEIVABLY hot? WTF?
I guess if you find horrible Arkansas hillbilly dental work attractive- ok!
This girl is uglier than a bag of buttholes.
Matt's friends are all talking behind hs back, "nice beaver!" and cracking up right now.
13. Posted by andreanicks on December 9, 2005 04:07 PM
With his giant horse face and her giant horse buck teeth we are in for a doozy of a baby.... and you thought Heidi and Seal had an ugly one.
14. Posted by sammygirl on December 9, 2005 04:12 PM
Oh, come on dude, unbelievably hot?! That just makes me mad. I'd accept "unbelievably nice" or even "unbelievably under-developed chin", but NOT unbelievably hot.
15. Posted by hafaball on December 9, 2005 10:52 PM
Hey, Matt Damon is a hundred times better then that no talent peiece of Affleck. And George clooney and pitt still haven't had their own kids...none that we know of at least o.o