December 08, 2005
Ben puts down cigarette, picks up baby wipes
People has the latest on Ben and Jen's new kid. Apparently it doesn't take much to be considered a good father in Hollywood. However, if the main competition is K-Fed, then I guess he wins by default.
"Ben has been changing diapers. He's an amazing father," says a friend of the couple's. "I don't know if I've ever seen anybody happier. He's already wrapped around Violet's little finger."
It's only a matter of time before this all goes downhill. Within the next couple of months, Ben will set one of those diapers on fire with a smoldering cigarette butt. Jennifer will then dropkick him out of the house. A couple of weeks later Ben is wandering the Vegas strip aimlessly after losing a couple of million on a hand of Pai Gow.
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» Mariah ties for most Grammy nominations» Matt Damon knocks up fiancee
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Comments
1. Posted by rivercmb on December 8, 2005 09:45 PM
$100 says the kid is Matt Damon's. They've found a way to merge their sperm and use Garney as a womb.
2. Posted by pixel killya on December 8, 2005 11:06 PM
omg, Affleck is the most amazing father...and Britney is the most amazing mother, and all celebrities are just the most amazing parents ever and....oh just fuck off.
3. Posted by HollyJ on December 8, 2005 11:14 PM
He may be smoking, but I've had two children, and based on HER smile, she's on narcotics. For a minute there, I thought Ben was escorting The Joker.
4. Posted by ebayfan414 on December 8, 2005 11:33 PM
OMG He can CHANGE a diaper!!??! What an AMAZING father!!! Not. Well, actually, it is pretty good for Ben Affleck. I mean, He can't act, he has no intelligence, and he has the same last name as that affleck duck. Changing a diaper is a huge accomplishment for him.
5. Posted by derekd on December 9, 2005 05:48 AM
OK as a fellow smoker lets lay off the guy. You guys keep talking about him like he's shotgunning crack cocaine hits through a baby straw to the child. And yes even though Affleck is a goober who can't act for shit comparing him to K-Fed is like comparing hetero sex with gay sex: One technically works, the other technically doesn't.(even though being married to Britney is a job unto itself).
6. Posted by derekd on December 9, 2005 05:50 AM
OK as a fellow smoker lets lay off the guy. You guys keep talking about him like he's shotgunning crack cocaine hits through a baby straw to the child. And yes even though Affleck is a goober who can't act for shit comparing him to K-Fed is like comparing hetero sex with gay sex: One technically works, the other technically doesn't.(even though being married to Britney is a job unto itself).
7. Posted by 1776er on December 9, 2005 12:09 PM
Is that Ben's gay, evil twin in the picture?
8. Posted by BadGoat on December 10, 2005 12:00 AM
Yes, it's funny how celebrities are lauded for doing the same things the rest of us do all the time. He changes diapers, that's good, but I don't think that makes him an amzaing father. Regardless, it's a good thing to give the live-in nanny a break during her day by helping change the baby. Amazing!
9. Posted by jb on December 10, 2005 02:50 PM
Anyone notice that his kid's named after Gwenneth Paltrow's character in Shakespeare In Love? Kind of weird to name your daughter after your ex-girlfriend's character in the movie you worked on together. But not as weird as naming your daughter after a piece of fruit, so OK, I guess he IS an amazing dad.
10. Posted by derekd on December 10, 2005 05:55 PM
I totally forgot that Ben hit Paltrow. She has made her rounds! Rumor has it she's a fuck machine too. Although she doesn't particularly do anything for me. Yes! Yes! I know! She'll lose seconds of sleep over it during her entire lifetime! Oh yeah and Jen Garner is BUTT UGLY!!!!!
11. Posted by Grope For Luna on December 10, 2005 09:51 PM
Ben is starting to look like High Pitch Eric from the Stern show.