December 07, 2005
Justin Timberlake talks like a girl
Due to his failure to secure adult roles because casting directors think he sounds like a 12-year old boy, Justin Timberlake has hired a voice specialist in an effort to deepen his voice. A friend said:
“He was dejected after the casting bosses rejected him. At first they refused to tell him why they had reached their decisions, in case it hurt him. But he wanted to know if he needed more acting experience. And they eventually confessed they rejected him because he sounded more like a 12-year-old boy than an action hero. He needs a deep, dreamy voice like George Clooney if he is to be a big-screen sex symbol. So he has been doing voice exercises day and night in a bid to develop a deep voice."
Sorry to break it to you Justin, but if it hasn’t happened by now, no specialist in the world is going to help you suddenly sound like George Clooney. You might as well buy a carton of Marlboro’s, a case of Scotch, then sit at home and watch ER. At least you’ll be saving money. Besides, being the “cute one” in a boy band rarely translates into “action hero.” It’s kind of like that puppy I fought in my last karate tournament. No matter what his sensei told him, he was never able to sweep my leg. I’ll admit the little guy had spirit, but to be fair, I am Cobra Kai. We do not train to be merciful. Mercy is for the weak.
Thanks to the super sexy Carrie for the tip!
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Comments
1. Posted by derekd on December 7, 2005 05:44 AM
You mean Stiffler from the "American Pie" movies is able to land action roles and this guy can't? His precious ego must be shattered! At least he can go swimming in his scroogemcduck money swimming pool to ease the pain.
2. Posted by Wolfy23 on December 7, 2005 08:02 AM
One word, "Edison." To see JT(I like to say JT for short cuz I'm cool like that with the kids) act opposite some of the greatest actors of our time and still come across as no-more than a sissy, sissy girl is quite an accomplishment. Maybe if they punch him in the crowd jewels it might have the reverse effect and make him the most manliest man that ever was ...or the pretty girl at the ball. It's a chance he should be willing to take.
3. Posted by Mermaid on December 7, 2005 09:00 AM
Note to JT: You are a 12 year old boy.
4. Posted by Kim on December 7, 2005 09:20 AM
I think that if Toby McGuire (who sounds and looks like a scrawny 12 year old boy) can play spiderman, Justin should easily be able to play a superhero.
5. Posted by the salami from killarney on December 7, 2005 09:26 AM
He'd probably have heaps more luck if he just embraced the Rip Taylor approach to "method acting". And made the occasional guest appearance as Jack MacFarlane's slightly "camp"-er girlfriend/boyfriend in "Will and Grace".
Although, with that hair and that body, I reckon JT may technically classify as a more lesbian shade of gay.
6. Posted by hafaball on December 7, 2005 01:38 PM
Ah yes, well, that makes sense, I just wonder what movie he was planning on ruining. Maybe he'll be the next Spawn? But it would of been nice if the they had quit being so polite and told him, "Yes, you also need to learn how to act if your going to be in movies."
7. Posted by Popz9 on December 7, 2005 01:42 PM
*scratches head*
think nicholas cage for a sec... anyone ever watch "Peggy Sue got Married"... yup... from screeching monkey to deep and scary...
hey nick... stop being a dick and give him the number of the guy you used...
8. Posted by misskatydid on December 7, 2005 04:26 PM
honk, got your nose
yeah, you thought I was about to hit you didn't you.
9. Posted by Sarcastikus on December 7, 2005 07:29 PM
Maybe Justin needs to slap on a few testosterone patches for a while.
10. Posted by Monkey on December 7, 2005 08:10 PM
If Clooney is being considered as the voice of Optimus Primte in the upcoming Transformers movie, then who would Justin be?
Bumblebee? No, Wheelie -- that little gay robot who busted rhymez.
11. Posted by mrschickee on December 8, 2005 01:55 AM
Sorry Justin, but no amount of day and night voice lessons are gonna make those balls drop. Girly man.
12. Posted by TheLuciousDeluxe on December 9, 2005 01:38 AM
He should ask Demi Moore what she did to get her deep voice and do that. I heard she scratched up her vocal chords or something. But Justin may not want to do that since he's a "singer". Oh well, guess he's out of luck. Maybe he can get a job doing voiceovers for cartoons.
13. Posted by BoredToTears on December 9, 2005 06:40 PM
He has a vagina too, so that may have something to do with it.