December 05, 2005
Britney Spears consults a psychic
In an effort to save her marriage, Britney Spears has reportedly consulted a psychic:
“She’s willing to have a third party arbitrate the problems,” a friend told the upcoming issue of Life & Style Weekly, but her spouse of 15 months allegedly refused, saying, “That’s for crazy people. If you want to see a shrink, go by yourself.”
For Britney’s sake, I hope that “psychic” is code for “hitman”. If not, then this story is even more laughable. Even if she won’t do it for the above quote, she needs to do it for the rest us that have seen K-Fed turn one of the hottest pieces of ass in recent memory into a greased pig. And if you're worried about the kid, don’t. I grew up without a father and I turned out just fine. At least that’s what the voices tell me when I’m cutting myself.
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Comments
1. Posted by Bob Denver on December 5, 2005 11:11 AM
Does Kevin think that a "psychic" is a "psychiatrist"?!? What a ******* moron....
2. Posted by Belle on December 5, 2005 11:24 AM
Hmm, I wrote about this story for my Superficial application. I'm guessing I should take it as a bad sign I haven't heard back from anyone at The Superficial, yes?
3. Posted by HollyJ on December 5, 2005 12:55 PM
"Only about 25% of a newborn infant's brain has been developed at birth. Experiences in the first three years of life...lays the foundation for learning throughout the child's life." (http://phps.dhs.co.la.ca.us/ph/pubs/braindev.pdf)
Oh shit.
4. Posted by Bill Clinton on December 5, 2005 12:58 PM
"And if you're worried about the kid, don’t. I grew up without a father and I turned out just fine. At least that’s what the voices tell me when I’m cutting myself"
I had those days also. That is what Hillary is for. After I married her it was like bringing the evil voices to life and I didn't have to mutilate myself anymore since her mere presence is pain enough to know I' alive!
5. Posted by Gophergutz on December 5, 2005 02:26 PM
Wow. Who saw this coming?
Did we learn nothing from the Beverly Hillbillies? You can't give a couple of twits millions of dollars and expect anything less than slapstick comedy.
Anyone know if there is a "Babies for Dummies" audio book? That kid is screwed without it.
6. Posted by Nikk The Templar on December 5, 2005 02:33 PM
K-fed didn't turn Britney into white trash....she already was white trash to begin with.....
7. Posted by Gophergutz on December 5, 2005 02:44 PM
And as for the psychic....
***Britney shakes magic 8-ball and says: Fwow hmph fmph hotdog mufp baby chew glug K-fed fomp chomp schlomp extra-cheese"?
8-Ball; "My sources say no."
8. Posted by JerseyGirl on December 5, 2005 03:17 PM
K-Fed...psychics...Sean Preston, say good-bye to any hopes for a trust fund!
9. Posted by sirokai on December 5, 2005 03:27 PM
'saying, “That’s for crazy people. If you want to see a shrink, go by yourself."'
That's the best part. That Britney would think of doing something so stupid, and that K-Fed would actually be smarter than Britney, just makes my day.
Of course, there isn't anyone much crazier than K-Fed.
10. Posted by Stacyy on December 5, 2005 03:38 PM
mm this is interesting. soo i say 2 more months and we have a simpson-lachey situation on our hands, except k-fed will be spitting money out of his mouth. its a shame too because i had a migrane listening to his voice attempting to rhyme words together.
11. Posted by suzy on December 5, 2005 04:03 PM
i wonder if their baby vomits every time he looks at their faces
12. Posted by JerseyGirl on December 5, 2005 04:04 PM
2 months?? I say they don't even make it through the holiday season!
13. Posted by The Scarlet Bitch on December 5, 2005 07:22 PM
Of all the hobos/hillbillies she could of married, she had to marry Ratty McRatface. Honestly, when she gave birth why weren't there people surrounding the hospital with torches anf pitchforks? *sigh* I miss the good old days.
14. Posted by CompulsiveThinker on December 6, 2005 12:51 AM
"And if you're worried about the kid, don’t. I grew up without a father and I turned out just fine. At least that’s what the voices tell me when I’m cutting myself"
LOL!!! that's funny!!
15. Posted by Linnea on December 6, 2005 01:29 AM
I seriously can't wait for Britney to crack and go on a crazy gunning rampage through Hollywood with a bag of cheetos and the baby strapped to her back.
16. Posted by sugarfree on December 8, 2005 11:25 PM
My god both of them are fuckn clueless...a psychic Brit? Wow that's what you get for not having enough brain to get a college degree.
17. Posted by TheLuciousDeluxe on December 9, 2005 02:14 AM
The last thing she needs is a psychic taking her money. If she wants to go that route it would be easier to check the Horoscopes in the daily paper. She still has enough money to get someone to read it for her.