December 02, 2005
Kelly Brook plays with her coconuts in Fiji
Sometimes I wish I was a more clever person so that I could see pictures of a woman playing with coconuts and come up with something more witty than 'Kelly Brook has big boobies!!!' But I'm just a simple man with a simple mind, and when I see the woman who played 'Beautiful Woman in Painting' in Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo in a bikini grabbing coconuts, my mind goes straight to the twelve hours of lesbian porn I had watched the night before. And by 'lesbian porn' I mean some other thing that's not degrading to woman and makes me look like a pervert. Like a presidential debate or something. National Geographic?
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» Jessica Simpson has a big sad clown face
» Danielle Calo is a dirty whore
» More marital woe for Britney & K-Fed
Comments
1. Posted by assholic on December 2, 2005 04:44 PM
nothin to say really, just for the sake of havin my first ever first poster, so there.
2. Posted by Binky on December 2, 2005 04:53 PM
CocoNuts !!! Thank God they're coconuts ! From the thumbnails - I thought she might have had a wave-induced 'chest accident' and had to ship her airbags back to Dow Corning.
3. Posted by Mary45 on December 2, 2005 05:14 PM
Who's the guy in the "here to eternity" wannabe shot and why does her bikini bottom look like a diaper?
4. Posted by ElFurbe on December 2, 2005 05:17 PM
What's with that last picture? Hottie with coconuts, hottie in water, hottie stretching her lithe body, AAAHHH! Mr. Clean feeling up hottie! My fantasy, shattered!
5. Posted by dirk_digglesworth on December 2, 2005 05:30 PM
dood, it's billy zane you dummie.
6. Posted by Juliette on December 2, 2005 05:52 PM
All I can think of is what an ugly bathing suit.
pretty girl, ugly suit.
7. Posted by apotheosis on December 2, 2005 05:54 PM
Personally, I'd feel far less nauseated if it was actually Mr. Clean. The offspring of Kelly Brook and Mr. Clean would be a bathroom-cleaning valkyrie with breasts the size of a large bald man's head and a fresh clean pine scent.
Kelly Brook and Billy Zane's kid might also have large breasts. But large breasts aren't nearly as attractive on a bald guy with no discernable acting ability.
8. Posted by Zanathon on December 2, 2005 06:10 PM
Is that a wedding band on the ring finger of Billy Zane in the last photo?
If it is, then I can SO use this to bust up their relationship in order to move in on Kelly, while she is still fresh from being on the rebound.
I'd then give her the BEST twenty-five seconds of our lives!
9. Posted by Bishop on December 2, 2005 06:10 PM
I agree: both swimsuits suck. The one-piece looks like it's got a really big little-sister problem and is trying anything to be flashy and high-cut (ergo sexy) but failing miserably because it's still a bad one-piece thing. the one with Zane in the shot DOES look a bit diaperish or BlueLagoonEsque.
And pic #5? LaraFlynnBoyle wants her stegasaurus title back.
10. Posted by ElFurbe on December 2, 2005 06:13 PM
Wow, that is Billy Zane! I rescind my comment. I'm a Billy Zane fan. I listen to my friend Billy Zane, he's a cool dude!
Since I can't have Kelly Brook, you know, ever, I'm glad it's Billy Zane and not some prat boy-band member or something.
11. Posted by Mary45 on December 2, 2005 06:22 PM
Silly me...all those freshly shorn heads make the dudes look the same!!
12. Posted by hafaball on December 2, 2005 06:49 PM
coconut boobies? :o
13. Posted by derekd on December 2, 2005 06:59 PM
Whats up with the grandma 80's one piece?!! Check out that monkey in the bend over pic. Thats a fat monkey! I wanna spank it. BAD MONKEY! BAD MONKEY!
14. Posted by derekd on December 2, 2005 07:02 PM
And Billy Zane. Talk about "Hair today, gone tomorrow." HA! I made a funny! Me so Funny. Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck!
15. Posted by valleyg on December 2, 2005 07:20 PM
so...am I lame that I have no idea who this broad is? I do like the retro, austin powers-esque bathing suit though.
16. Posted by Flush it all away on December 2, 2005 07:31 PM
I've always thought Billy Zane was badass. How could you watch Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight and not think the guy was cool?
Well, although his movie career kinda fizzled, I'm glad it all worked out for him in the end--he nabbed Kelly Brook! You go, The Phantom!
17. Posted by mrschickee on December 2, 2005 08:32 PM
Um....who the hell is Kelly Brook? And why is she important? Just wondering.
18. Posted by hotnikkels on December 2, 2005 10:32 PM
Kelly Brook is important because she is only the hottest girl ever...and probably the least talented. I still love her though.
19. Posted by assholic on December 3, 2005 12:10 AM
"Is that a wedding band on the ring finger of Billy Zane in the last photo?
If it is, then I can SO use this to bust up their relationship in order to move in on Kelly, while she is still fresh from being on the rebound."
he's engaged to kelly, haven't you thought that, you idiot sick fantisizer? besides tht, if thy were not together, kelly would have been with me instead. in fact am plannin to break dem up after this hot though in hideous looking swimsuits....
20. Posted by Bill Clinton on December 3, 2005 01:08 AM
http://www.thesuperficial.com/image.php?path=/archives/kelly_brook_fiji_5.jpg
I must admit ^that^ is how I see all women.
21. Posted by giblet on December 3, 2005 01:51 AM
These shots of Kelly--they're a little sad. Playing in the sand. Laughing in the sun. Making out with Billy. Yet, all the while she must be crying inside because she doesn't have any true friends; solid confidants who would ask "Kelly, was there a mirror in the dressing room?"
Then again, judging from her expression in the first shot, she's probably not as cognizant as I'd hoped. The internal 8-track is most likely stuck on "Sunny! Sand! Laugh! Round things! Sunny!"
22. Posted by Jenny on December 3, 2005 03:49 PM
Watching lesbian porn is okay. Watching Deuce Bigalow on the other hand.....
23. Posted by Suite4 on December 3, 2005 09:36 PM
FYI Kelly Brook is a British model. I'm no expert, but aren't her thighs a bit chunky for a model? Plus she's trying to hard to be sexy. She's like a sex bomb in UK. But then again... they eat lamb with mint sauce in UK.
24. Posted by kmb187 on December 4, 2005 11:19 AM
Her thighs are a little large... and I would hope someone involved in the fashion industry would know how to choose a more flattering bathing suit. The Pucci print isn't hiding the fact that the horribly high-cut legs make her hips, thighs, and backside look horrendous.
25. Posted by kittiesyay on December 4, 2005 04:26 PM
her thighs are large? lmao. are you stupid? she has a perfect body, she is so hot. oh, wait, i forgot, guys like to beat off to girls like calista flockhart. silly me.
26. Posted by Roxie on December 4, 2005 06:05 PM
Hey if you wanna see a really hot chick, go to http://www.kisskissandallthat.blogspot.com. Oh wait that's not a chick, that's DENNIS RODMAN crossdressing again.
27. Posted by Laur on December 4, 2005 07:03 PM
Oooh... nice tush. ;)
Not the best choice of a bathing suit, though.
28. Posted by Kiren on December 4, 2005 10:07 PM
there are more pics of here on the beach with Billy Zane here
http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=5913
she's nude in some of them :P
29. Posted by the salami from killarney on December 5, 2005 12:06 AM
The coconut has always been my favourite, um, nut?
Kelly Brook is pretty hot too. Except for Billy Zane. She should just smash him with her coconuts.
30. Posted by kmb187 on December 5, 2005 12:20 AM
kitties--I was replying to the poster before me, who mentioned that her thighs are a little chunky for a model. She definitely has a good body, but in all honesty not a typical model body. Well, not by US standards, anyhow. And I am a girl, so that whole Calista Flockhart thing was pretty much wasted. No need to be so snippy.
31. Posted by Liz on December 5, 2005 03:50 AM
Kelly Brook was a TV presenter (The Big Breakfast) but she got the sack because she was, quite frankly, crap at it. I'm very fond of her, though, and insanely jealous of her body. That's what a woman ought to look like, not the bags of bones parading down the catwalk we've gotten used to over the last decade.
32. Posted by HollyJ on December 5, 2005 12:57 PM
I can't believe that a picture of a virtually unknown zombie-eyed chick manipulating dual coconuts has inspired more than 30 posts. Of course, as I say that, I'm posting #32. =(
33. Posted by Dtbb on December 5, 2005 01:11 PM
^ I can believe that the pictures inspired many readers to manipulate themselves more than 30 times...there goes #33.
34. Posted by fax on December 5, 2005 02:10 PM
these pics are lame. these ones are better:
http://www.yeeeah.com/weblog/2005/11/kelly_brook_top.html
35. Posted by HollyJ on December 5, 2005 08:58 PM
#35... ACK! ...I ....just......can't.......stop.....adding...more.... ::grimace::
Someone call a 12-step program. I need a superficial intervention.