November 18, 2005
Brittany Murphy Has Sex Mitzvah
A lot of people think that 15% is a pretty decent tip. Some say 20%, some 25%. But some people think the only appropriate way to tip your waiter is with sex. Apparently Brittany Murphy is one of these people. She has been dropped by her manager and agents at ICM, and a bunch of rumors have been floating around including a gossip item on E!online which implied that Murphy had had sex with a waiter at an industry bar mitzvah.
A rep for Murphy, who has been helping her mother deal with cancer, said, "Brittany is making a transition in her representation and has parted ways amicably with Brillstein-Grey and ICM. Not the other way around. The blind item on E!online is not Brittany."
Now I'm not Jewish, and have no idea how bar mitzvah's are supposed to work, but if there's any truth to the above story I'm seriously thinking of converting. Most of my Catholic ceremonies growing up were sixty-minutes of prayer followed by three hours in the church basement running from a man who said he had to sacrifice my clothes to the Lord. This whole judaism thing seems much better. If Brittany gets this kinky at a bar mitzvah, god only knows what she'd do at a bris.
NONE TOO BLIND [NY Post ]
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Comments
1. Posted by The Devil on November 18, 2005 12:29 PM
For maximum results, join EVERY religion.
2. Posted by MortyFishbein on November 18, 2005 01:10 PM
This doesn't really surprise me. I mean, have you seen the movies and roles she takes? She plays sluts/prostitutes, junkies, crazy/psychotic girls, sometimes aqll at once. I like the fact that she chooses roles that are close to who she is in real life. That kind of commitment to her craft is admirable.
3. Posted by Zanathon on November 18, 2005 06:35 PM
What the big deal?
It's not like she was having intercourse with the waiter on the dinner table, right in front of everybody...or did she?
4. Posted by tori on November 18, 2005 09:40 PM
wait, what's wrong with fucking a waiter at an industry thing? everyone fucks everyone in hollywood. right?!
5. Posted by Bill Clinton on November 19, 2005 12:23 AM
Waiter, intern, the whole country....
It's a private matter.
6. Posted by BadGoat on November 19, 2005 01:49 AM
Is this so awful. Men have been doing this for a million years, who do you think they are doing it with? Did the waiter snitch, how did others find out?
Get a life!
7. Posted by ebayfan414 on November 20, 2005 04:38 AM
Did you say you wondered what Brittany Murphy would do at a Bris? Well, wonder no longer! I can tell you. She went to a friend of mines baby's bris, and what happened was, appalling, really. Appalling even for BrittanySlut.
At the Bris, the Mohel, that is, the person performing the Bris, was holding the baby, when a wild-looking Brittany burst into the men's section in the shul, and ran to the baby. She screamed, "Let Me!," and put her mouth on the little baby's winky dink. She proceeded to give little Yanky his first ever blowjob.
An old Bubby was overheard commenting, "Oy gevald, that Brittany whore can't seem to get enough cock, no matter how old it is!" After this incident, Brittany was barred from entering any local shul.
8. Posted by HOMELESS™ on November 22, 2005 08:53 AM
omg omg omg
no way. sex?
no way. thats so horrible.
omg no way.
stfu.!
you swear hot chicks cant have sex.??
maybe some of you should try getting laid so you can stop talking about other people getting laid.
9. Posted by fregescats on January 16, 2006 06:28 PM
it's spelled bat mitzvah not bar mitvah
10. Posted by fregescats on January 16, 2006 09:15 PM
SORRY: retraction: I thought she went to a girl's coming of age.