November 17, 2005
Britney To Spawn Yet Again?
Trailer park crotch-queen Britney Spears is preparing for another child (read: antichrist) after a psychic predicted she'll fall pregnant again next year.
Britney reportedly always seeks the advice of a medium when she makes major plans for her future. A friend told In Touch magazine that Britney couldn't resist asking if she'd have another child, and was told that she'd be pregnant again within six months.
Britney would have a much better idea of when she'd get pregnant if she read any fifth-grade biology textbook rather than rolling around in a giant tub of cheetos. People give K-Fed a hard time because he spends so much time away from her, but christ, if my wife's idea of a good time was sitting around in a pool of grease, watching White Chicks and farting like a horse, I might get the hell out of there too.
Another Baby For Britney? [Contact Music]
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Comments
1. Posted by conceitedhipster on November 17, 2005 11:57 AM
Surely, the end is near.
2. Posted by D-Bear on November 17, 2005 12:05 PM
There must be a way to save the world from this impending doom.
3. Posted by ElFurbe on November 17, 2005 12:26 PM
I, for one, welcome our new Britney-spawn overlords and remind them that as a nobody blog commenter I would be an invalubale source for rounding up people to work in their underground cheeto caves.
4. Posted by suzy on November 17, 2005 05:49 PM
Maybe she's trying to get money for her baby photos this time around, unlike with her first child. Hehe...
5. Posted by catlebrity on November 17, 2005 07:02 PM
greasy horse-farts are HOT
6. Posted by Zanathon on November 17, 2005 07:24 PM
You know what really concerns me? The fact that she has a few hundred thousand eggs, just waiting to be fertilized, in her pair of ovaries.
If we were to convince Britney to visit the troops in Iraq, we could then expose and expunge the Weapons of Mass Destruction everybody was looking for.
As soon as she starts to sing, "Hit Me Baby, One More Time," more than a few soldiers will open fire on her and go home valiant heroes.
7. Posted by Jivenut on November 17, 2005 08:12 PM
With these two breeding we can all rest easy knowing the world will be filled with people dripping with innate talent and unwavering decision making ability.
8. Posted by Floyd on November 18, 2005 06:59 AM
I thought she'd kicked that waste-of-space Federline out? Who's the daddy going to be this time?
A quick visit to Timberlake?
9. Posted by ska_talon on November 18, 2005 10:06 AM
Fat chicks are gross.
10. Posted by elle on November 18, 2005 02:52 PM
haha trailer park crotch-queen.. so true, so true.
11. Posted by oshkoshb-goshdammgosh on November 18, 2005 03:37 PM
I just moved to Louisiana, and, it's true, we do have a special kind of redneck here. Especially the ladies. They necks is awful awful red.
12. Posted by The Scarlet Bitch on November 18, 2005 09:51 PM
Horse Farts, Genius :D.
13. Posted by assholic on November 19, 2005 04:25 PM
comment # 11. why didn't it struck to me as news though? oh yeah, coz i knew all along, that's why.
14. Posted by AmberDextrose on November 21, 2005 06:06 AM
Oh lovely, lovely Britney - breed on! It would be so awful if you just, like, stopped, leaving us nothn new to feed our car-crash gawing tiny minds on.
15. Posted by becca11 on November 22, 2005 02:32 AM
she is very self destructive. she must hate her self and not want to be happy