November 10, 2005

Jessica Simpson Not So Charitable

Jessica Simpson is receiving a barrage of criticism from humanitarian agencies after she allegedly interrupted a 10-day charity visit to Kenya for a safari, despite insisting she was too ill to visit local children. A representative for the charity says, "Jessica got sick, like people do, and couldn't get out of bed." But the excuse has been challenged by a hotel insider who alleges, "Simpson was not ill, no doctor was called out to see her."

When I read the words 'Jessica Simpson' and 'safari', what immediately comes to mind are scenes from the classic Tarzan: King of the Bunghole (i.e. the greatest jungle-themed porno of all time). I just wonder how many times the safari guide had to tell her that there are no four-star hotels, that they aren't supposed to pet the lions, and that there are, in fact, no unicorns in Africa.