October 17, 2005

Bores, Bonds, Blossom's baby, and poorly-executed alliteration

• Ricky Martin says his brief tenure as kind-of-famous in the late nineties left him "bored and embittered," claiming that, "Everything was too serious and I wasn't enjoying it." Because there's no job more serious than showing up onstage in sleeveless jean jackets and doing the Latin equivalent of the Elaine Dance. Except maybe clown mortician.

• Daniel Craig has officially-officially been named the next James Bond, breathing new life into the franchise by having a hair color that rhymes with his character's name. Guess what color! I bet you'll never get it.

• TV's Blossom, who's apparently a neuroscientist now, gave birth to her first child last week. So unless you have two kids and a job title that either begins with 'neuro-' or ends with 'scientist,' Blossom is better than you. Blossom. Yeah, four-dozen sleeping pills and a bottle of vodka is a lethal dose. Why do you ask?

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