September 28, 2005
Mariah wins money, thanks boobs
Mariah Carey is said to have won $27,000 in a Las Vegas Casino on Friday after playing just three rounds of poker. She tells ContactMusic.com:
"I used to play poker with my sister. But I think my low-cut dress put some of the guys off."
Some people are saying that none of this ever happened, and that Mariah's publicist just planted the story to get her some press coverage, which actually isn't that far fetched. As genuinely hypnotic as Mariah is from the neck down, in Las Vegas, you can't drop a pin in a room without popping silicone into someone's eye, so I would imagine that hardcore poker players are used to having a fleshy nimbus of breasts floating around their heads all day. After all, they don't call it Sin City because there's a lack of hookers and they think the irony is cute. And even if anybody at the table did stare at her chest, it's probably because they were thinking, "Now where have I seen a pair like those before?"
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Comments
1. Posted by Juliette on September 28, 2005 09:36 AM
How could you not be distracted by those huge honkers? That isnt fair!
2. Posted by Bookboi on September 28, 2005 10:19 AM
Of course. The guys were put off by her always well-merchandised breasts, not the fact that she is a vapid, egocentric shell of a woman.
3. Posted by Tommy Cruise on September 28, 2005 10:34 AM
And here I thought she won because of her "poke her" face. Silly me.
4. Posted by Ragin_Pope_Angus on September 28, 2005 10:44 AM
"Poke Her Face" ... Bawahahahahahaha!
Well, it'd be one useful function for that sad, pathetic creature.
Mariah, we may stare at your jumbly hooters but we'd still just kick you out of bed after a high speed tonsil wash.
Your clam is probably buck-toothed.
5. Posted by DevastatorX on September 28, 2005 11:27 AM
No Mariah you idiot; they weren't put off by your low cut dress, it's because your sister has AIDS and is a whore. (No, she really is. I didn't make that up)
Which leads me to think, "How far behind are you?"
6. Posted by TrickyB on September 28, 2005 01:48 PM
I thanked my johnson once but it was at a company function and I can't talk about it.