September 09, 2005

Star Jones to strike fear in the hearts of Emmy red carpet patrons

Star_Jones.jpgStar Jones Reynolds is set to host E! Entertainment Television's Emmy arrivals show, "Live From The Red Carpet," for the second time on September 18th. She will be joined by co-hosts Kathy Griffin, E! "news anchor" Giuliana DePandi, and professional homosexual (which apparently makes him a "fashion expert") Carson Kressley.

You may be asking yourself, "Why are they constantly letting someone as shrill and delusional as Star Jones host arrivals for the Oscars, Golden Globes, SAGs, and Emmys?" The answer, my friends, is purely scientific. You see, if you place Star at just the right place on the red carper and in just the right position, soon enough other, smaller celebrities will get sucked in by her gravitational pull. Then, while the celebrities are captive in their orbit, Giuliana DePandi chases them with a microphone and a script of inane banter, Carson Kressley looks up their dresses and giggles, and Kathy Griffin basically throws things at them and makes crude AIDs jokes. It's all very technical. Oh, I mean illogical. I always get those two mixed up.

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Comments

1. Posted by Proteon on September 22, 2005 01:08 PM

Dudes, she's a lawyer.

2. Posted by Xarah on September 23, 2005 05:24 PM

The point being?

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