June 20, 2005

Tom Cruise is an easy mark

While Cruise was giving an on-the-spot interview at the "War of the Worlds" premiere in London, he was squirted in the face with water. The water came from what appeared to be a microphone. Four men who were part of a freelance camera crew were arrested. They could face assault charges"

Spraying Tom Cruise with water from a fake microphone ranks pretty low on my previously uninvented list of all time red-carpet pranks. In fact I don’t think I’d even rank in on my list of all time red-carpet pranks against goofy midget Scientologists. It doesn’t take a whole lot of thought, and Tom Cruise is pretty much the nicest guy in the world, so you know he’s not gonna do anything. And maybe you didn’t think of the part where you had to explain to your new cellmates that you're doing time for spraying water on somebody when they didn’t expect it. Or maybe you can’t get enough forced sodomy and this was your plan all along. Anyway, if you want to dazzle me with the red carpet water prank, try that crap with Russell Crowe or the Rock. And when you wake up six months later in a body cast and you can’t reach the morphine drip you so desperately need, just know that you’ve earned my respect. And that I’ve been bangin your girl.

Watch the video here.

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