February 16, 2005

Shannyn Sossamon is an idiot

You know what Shannyn Sossamon, I don’t care how good looking you are, naming your kid Audio Science is a dumb idea. In fact, it probably borders on child abuse. The only one who is gonna come out of this healthy is me since I’m constantly entertained by idiots who insist on trying to give their kid some sort of identity by branding them with dumb names. The fact is, in eight years, that kids identity is gonna be “the dude getting his ass whupped cause he has a ridiculous name”. And, Shannyn honey, when little Audio walks in the door after that first day in junior high and he’s soaking wet and covered in graffiti written in spray paint, that’s your fault pumpkin.

Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid seem to the only celebrities who came off clean at this. They named their son Jack Henry. You see how that works. In eight years, when Audio Science is a dizzy lump face down in the mud, it’ll be Jack Henry walking away getting high-fives from his buddies. So in honor of Megs common sense, here are a bunch a pics of her when she was sill unthinkably sexy/cute and before she went insane with all the plastic surgery.

(and, yeah, I know this isn’t exactly news because it happened a year ago, but someone just pointed it out to me, so I hope you can still sleep at night.)

Previous Entries