From Yahoo : “Lindsay Lohan wasn't injured after her car was hit by a photographer who allegedly was following the ‘Mean Girls’ actress. Galo Ramirez, 24, was booked on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon after running into Lohan's car Tuesday, police said.”
We haven’t posted anything on the Lindsay Lohan/paparazzi car wreck yet because the other guy has been busy trying on pretty dresses and kissing his Justin Timberlake posters, and I’m just completely out of ways to make fun of her. I swear to Christ, her life is filled with stuff you normally only see in cartoons. I fully expect her to show up somewhere in a barrel held up with suspenders or trying to sneak into an amusement park as the top half in a horse costume. But don’t you try that. Cause I did and you can barely breathe in those horse costumes. I don’t know how horses do it.
Some pretty cool footage online this morning from the new Superman movie. Here, in the 14th update to director Bryan Singers weblog, we see Brandon Routh as Clark Kent on his farm in Smallville in a moment of frustration throwing a baseball a couple of hundred miles. It looks pretty cool except that I’m not sure why it’s a big deal if a dude throws a baseball this far. One time I saw some cowboys abusing their horses and I threw a barn this far with all the mean cowboys inside and then I rescued all the horses and ponies and bunnies. And then I shed a single tear for the children. And did I mention that I’m a former model who comes from tremendous wealth but I walked away from all that and my father (the Colonel) has tried to buy my love but I’ve rejected that kind of opulent lifestyle. He wants me to come work at the firm, but all I care about is helping the abused animals. And the children. And doing crunches.
Just form a single line ladies, I’ve got plenty of smooches for all of you.
The gossip site Glamour UK is reporting that “the editor of Playboy, Marilyn Grabowski, says he'd love to have Britney Spears in his magazine, but she asked for a ‘ridiculous’ amount of money when they approached her. ‘It was too much, let's put it that way.’"
Playboy must have spent my subscription money on a time machine because Britney has pretty much looked like hell for two years now. Playboy could just open a thing of poppin-fresh dough, dress it like a tramp then put Britney’s picture and a lit cigarette at the top and it would pretty much be the same thing. I’d rather see my grandfather naked then Britney. The girl in the pics below is gone. She could have glow-in-the-dark tentacles and a forked tongue now and not look any worse, so how about we turn our focus to new hotties like April Scott. I was on April’s website and I saw a picture of her ass, and then I stabbed myself in the eyes so I could go out with one perfect image. Totally worth it dude. Uhh, wait, I mean … tigksisdfdfj kgkqweokdgkgo.
This is London is reporting that “Michael Jackson faces a year in jail even if he is cleared of child abuse. The 46-year-old singer was told by trial judge Rodney Melville that he is to be charged with giving alcohol to a minor. It is a lesser offence than the one he was originally accused of - plying a young boy with drink in order to sexually abuse him. The jury only has to accept that the star gave Gavin Arvizo alcohol, which the trial has heard Jackson call "Jesus juice", to find him guilty…”
In Jackson’s defense, who knew it was illegal to get little kids drunk until they pass out so you can rape them? I went to Yale Law School, and I can’t remember any perfectly healthy behavior like that ever being frowned upon. But then, my immeasurable brilliance made class boring and I rarely ever went, instead becoming a campus legend because of my irreverent personality and wacky antics. And huge penis.
(warning - Okay, so that link right above this goes to the NAMBLA website, which I thought was hilarious. A few of the readers who now hear a weird clicking sound every time they use the phone seem to disagree.)
Several sources confirming now that Layer Cake director Matthew Vaughn has stepped away from X-Men 3. The movie is extremely deep into pre-production, casting has been set with the addition of Kelsey Grammar as Beast, Vinnie Jones as Juggernaut, and the actor set to play Angel was supposed to named in the next few days. A release date has already been set for Memorial Day, 2006 and filming is still set to begin in nine weeks, even though there is no director attached at this time. Sources at Marvel Comics insist that Vaughn’s departure was for personal and not professional reasons. And for some reason that reminds me that Vaughn is married to Claudia Shiffer (that’s the back of Vaughn’s head in the pictures below) and makes me wonder if this is somehow related to her. Maybe Ripley was trying to kill her again. Or … umm … I was trying to make a ‘Claudia Shiffer looks like the queen from Aliens’ joke but I can’t think of how to do it. I’m positive there’s one here somewhere. Cause Claudia Shiffer looks like the queen from Aliens. What? Oh, okay, fine, you’re so god-damn funny, you write the page!
(Brendon storms away, slams door in a huff. A sexxxy huff.)
Contact Music is reporting that Victoria Beckham, “is releasing a series of tracks under a secret name because she fears her identity will put fans off buying her music. She explains, ‘I've recorded a number of tracks and I'm proud of them. This way, though, we can have a genuine hit and then, when it is a hit, I'll reveal my true identity.’”
This may be obvious to everyone but Victoria, but it’s not the greatest idea in the world to announce to someone that you’re sneaking up on them. Remind me not to hire Posh Spice for any of the top-secret black-op’s I have planned. She may look hot when we come out of the moonlit ocean in our wetsuits, but I don’t need to have my knife drawn and about to slit the guards throat just to have Posh blurt out, “Yeah, yeah, get him, get him!”
A teaser trailer for the new Guy Ritchie flick Revolver is now online, hosted exclusively by the Sun. This movie will probably be exactly like Lock, Stock… and Snatch, which is fine with me because I love those movies. But obviously not as much as Simon Woods did during his featured review on IMDB. According to Simon, Snatch “is definitely the better choice than Save the Last Dance.” Say what you will about that being an insanely random and completely inappropriate comparison, but give him props for finding the gayest possible way to make one. It’s like saying making out with Marisa Miller is better than baking cupcakes in a pretty pink dress. Uhh, yeah Simon, we know.
Which totally just reminded me that I'm in love with Marisa Miller.
I’m unbelievably foxy. I’m also hilarious and the son of an oil baron, so none of my supermodel girlfriends have ever broken up with me. And that’s why I totally can’t relate to the mental breakdown Jennifer Anniston is having while watching her still-husband Brad Pitt span the globe in a sexy way with Angelina Jolie. But apparently it’s kind of killing her. And she hasn’t even seen them make out in Mr. And Mrs. Smith yet, in scenes so hot that the director is worried it will inspire boycotts. From something he calls “huge Jennifer Aniston fans”. I wouldn’t really worry about that, cause “huge Jennifer Aniston fans” means they probably watch Friends, which means they just barely don’t need to be lead around on a leash and are mostly guys downloading fake Courtney Cox nudes while sitting on a saddle dressed in a bra and panties or girls too busy dressing up their cat Colonel Mittens to put together any kind of coherent protest.
Christian Slater was arrested early today on charges of sexual harassment as he drunkenly grabbed a woman's ass on the street. I don't know man, if being Christian Slater doesn't give you the right to grab a woman's ass on the street then all hope is lost. Seriously, we might as well just pack up our stuff and quit humanity now.
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Some pretty cool 
The gossip site 
Several sources confirming now that 
A teaser 
I’m unbelievably foxy. I’m also hilarious and the son of an oil baron, so none of my supermodel girlfriends have ever broken up with me. And that’s why I totally can’t relate to the mental breakdown Jennifer Anniston is having while watching her still-husband Brad Pitt span the globe in a sexy way with Angelina Jolie. 
Christian Slater