Hilary Duff Eats Sandwich

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston Separate

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston have separated after 4 1/2 years of marriage. "We would like to announce that after seven years together we have decided to formally separate," they said. "For those who follow these sorts of things, we would like to explain that our separation is not the result of any of the speculation reported by the tabloid media. This decision is a result of much thoughtful consideration. We happily remain committed and caring friends with great love and admiration for one another. We ask in advance for your kindness and sensitivity in the coming months." It's probably for the best that these two never had a child. Their combined genes would have created a beautiful monster the likes of which no human could resist. Hey, sort of like me!

Read Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston Separate [Yahoo]

Portia de Rossi Removes Tattoo

Portia de Rossi has reportedly made an appointment with a dermatologist to get rid of a little tattoo on her ring finger featuring the initials of her former lover. Portia dumped Francesca Gregorini for Ellen DeGeneres and now wants to get the "FG" inked on her ring finger permanently removed. Here's a little tip for all you people who feel the need to get somebody's name tattooed on you. Don't. Unless it's mine. In which case, tattoo it all over your face and genitals.

Anticlown Daily

You guys clearly haven't been paying enough attention to our sibling site Anticlown Daily. If it was possible for awesome and humor to have a baby, Anticlown Daily would probably be it. Plus, their ability to kill ninjas by being totally sweet is a force to be reckoned with.

Visit Anticlown Daily

Anna Kournikova Checks Yellow Bikini

I can only speculate as to why Anna Kournikova would be checking out her vagina in public, but it probably has to do with Enrique Iglesias' terribly unsanitary genitalia. I don't want to start any rumors, but I hear he has 13 STD's, never showers, and always walks pantless through the local landfill.

View Anna Kournikova Yellow Bikini Gallery

*Update: Here's a mirror with thumbnails.

Christina Milian Dip It Low Video Session Photoshoot

Christina Milian sure has some solid looking legs. They're not fat or anything they're just really thick and solid looking, like she could squat a truck or something. Now if only I knew why I'm talking about Christina Milian squatting a truck. Maybe it's because when I was young a truck murdered my best friend and I vowed that I would one day be able to squat it. And then kill it.

Kirsten Dunst and Zach Braff Hook Up

Spies reportedly spotted Kirsten Dunst with Zach Braff over the holidays on St. Bart's, despite Zach's supposed relationship with Mandy Moore. After hooking up at a yacht party, the two headed to a club where spies say Kirsten jumped on a table and danced for Braff. She then sat on his lap, they hugged and kissed, and later left together, showing up on the beach together the next day. Now can somebody explain to me why anybody in their right mind would cheat on Mandy Moore with Kirsten Dunst? That makes about as much sense as trading in a donut to eat human feces.

Heidi Klum Engaged To Seal

Heidi Klum and Seal got engaged just before Christmas during a ski vacation in Whistler, Canada. And in case you didn't know, Heidi has an eight-month-old daughter with Naomi Campbell's ex-boyfriend, Italian racing tycoon Flavio Briatore. They broke up before she was born, and Seal started dating Heidi while she was still pregnant. It's nice to know that deep down even German supermodels are still promiscuous whores.

Linsdsay Lohan Implants Removed

Good Plastic Surgery reports that Lindsay Lohan appears to have gotten her breast implants removed during a recent hospital stay for "exhaustion." Sounds good to me, considering exhaustion is the lamest excuse to stay in a hospital that I've ever heard. From now on whenever you hear about a celebrity getting treated for exhaustion, it's probably safe to assume that they're either touching up their plastic surgery or plotting to assassinate the President. Why assassinate the President you ask? Because they feel like it, that's why.

Linsdsay Lohan Implants Removed [Good Plastic Surgery]