Kirsten Dunst and Zach Braff Hook Up

Spies reportedly spotted Kirsten Dunst with Zach Braff over the holidays on St. Bart's, despite Zach's supposed relationship with Mandy Moore. After hooking up at a yacht party, the two headed to a club where spies say Kirsten jumped on a table and danced for Braff. She then sat on his lap, they hugged and kissed, and later left together, showing up on the beach together the next day. Now can somebody explain to me why anybody in their right mind would cheat on Mandy Moore with Kirsten Dunst? That makes about as much sense as trading in a donut to eat human feces.

Heidi Klum Engaged To Seal

Heidi Klum and Seal got engaged just before Christmas during a ski vacation in Whistler, Canada. And in case you didn't know, Heidi has an eight-month-old daughter with Naomi Campbell's ex-boyfriend, Italian racing tycoon Flavio Briatore. They broke up before she was born, and Seal started dating Heidi while she was still pregnant. It's nice to know that deep down even German supermodels are still promiscuous whores.

Linsdsay Lohan Implants Removed

Good Plastic Surgery reports that Lindsay Lohan appears to have gotten her breast implants removed during a recent hospital stay for "exhaustion." Sounds good to me, considering exhaustion is the lamest excuse to stay in a hospital that I've ever heard. From now on whenever you hear about a celebrity getting treated for exhaustion, it's probably safe to assume that they're either touching up their plastic surgery or plotting to assassinate the President. Why assassinate the President you ask? Because they feel like it, that's why.

Linsdsay Lohan Implants Removed [Good Plastic Surgery]

Ashlee Simpson Booing Was SNL Based

In regards to Ashlee Simpson getting booed off stage at the Orange Bowl, representatives have come forward to say that they were "pleased with Ashlee's performance" but said that the booing was "just backlash" from the SNL mess-up in October of 2004. Wow really? I am shocked.

Carmen Electra Wants Baby

Carmen Electra is reportedly trying for a baby with her husband Dave Navarro. The former Baywatch babe, who married the rock guitarist in November of 2003, said "I can't wait to be pregnant - I always watch 'Birth Day' on the Discovery Channel. I have the perfect man. Now I want the perfect family." Sounds good, though I'd hardly consider a hairy makeup-wearing freak like Dave Navarro the perfect man. I don't want to be mean, but his genetic contribution is probably something their baby could do without.

*Update: I forgot to mention that Carmen Electra deserves some sort of Nobel Prize for developing her Strip Aerobics series. That's just plain genius.

Ashlee Simpson Booed Off Stage Video

In case you missed Ashlee Simpson being booed offstage at the FedEx Orange Bowl, here's a link to the video for all your laughing pleasure. If you listen closely, you can hear somebody yell out "You suck!" And if you listen even more closely, you can hear the sound of Ashlee Simpson's brain turning off as she busts out one lame dance move after another. Irish jigs and weird pumping actions? Last time I checked, acting like an ass didn't count as dancing.

Watch Ashlee Simpson Booed Off Stage Video [.wmv @ lipsynch.us]

Beyonce & Jay-Z Beach Vacation

I remember hearing Beyonce say before that she was a fat black woman just waiting to bust out and that she had to work extremely hard to maintain her figure. Well I guess whoever was in there decided to finally make an appearance, because Beyonce is looking mighty plump these days. Not that she's fat, she just has the waist and butt of a hippopotamus. A really fat hippopotamus. Oh, and I'm pretty sure Jay-Z should be sagging a little more. You're not officially cool until your pants are sitting completely below your crotch with your penis hanging out.

View Beyonce and Jay-Z Gallery

Britney Spears Mona Lisa Single MP3

Britney Spears' label, Jive Records, has confirmed that she's in the "very early stages" of a new album. There's no word yet on a release date, but Britney hopes to have it out before summer. She's already laid down a rough cut of a song called Mona Lisa and she's thinking about calling the album The Original Doll. Unfortunately, a sneak preview of Mona Lisa has been released and it sucks more balls than a ball-sucking donkey.

Download Britney Spears Mona Lisa Sneak Preview MP3

Jessica Alba White Bikini

I would have posted these pictures earlier but I think I passed out for a couple of hours after seeing them. I didn't examine the photos too closely for fear that I would suffer heart failure and die, but I'm fairly certain that there isn't a shred of cellulite on Jessica Alba's butt or thighs. I'm also fairly certain that I shouldn't be left alone in a room with these pictures for fear of what terrible things I might do to myself.