Carmen Electra Wants Baby

Carmen Electra is reportedly trying for a baby with her husband Dave Navarro. The former Baywatch babe, who married the rock guitarist in November of 2003, said "I can't wait to be pregnant - I always watch 'Birth Day' on the Discovery Channel. I have the perfect man. Now I want the perfect family." Sounds good, though I'd hardly consider a hairy makeup-wearing freak like Dave Navarro the perfect man. I don't want to be mean, but his genetic contribution is probably something their baby could do without.

*Update: I forgot to mention that Carmen Electra deserves some sort of Nobel Prize for developing her Strip Aerobics series. That's just plain genius.

Ashlee Simpson Booed Off Stage Video

In case you missed Ashlee Simpson being booed offstage at the FedEx Orange Bowl, here's a link to the video for all your laughing pleasure. If you listen closely, you can hear somebody yell out "You suck!" And if you listen even more closely, you can hear the sound of Ashlee Simpson's brain turning off as she busts out one lame dance move after another. Irish jigs and weird pumping actions? Last time I checked, acting like an ass didn't count as dancing.

Watch Ashlee Simpson Booed Off Stage Video [.wmv @ lipsynch.us]

Beyonce & Jay-Z Beach Vacation

I remember hearing Beyonce say before that she was a fat black woman just waiting to bust out and that she had to work extremely hard to maintain her figure. Well I guess whoever was in there decided to finally make an appearance, because Beyonce is looking mighty plump these days. Not that she's fat, she just has the waist and butt of a hippopotamus. A really fat hippopotamus. Oh, and I'm pretty sure Jay-Z should be sagging a little more. You're not officially cool until your pants are sitting completely below your crotch with your penis hanging out.

View Beyonce and Jay-Z Gallery

Britney Spears Mona Lisa Single MP3

Britney Spears' label, Jive Records, has confirmed that she's in the "very early stages" of a new album. There's no word yet on a release date, but Britney hopes to have it out before summer. She's already laid down a rough cut of a song called Mona Lisa and she's thinking about calling the album The Original Doll. Unfortunately, a sneak preview of Mona Lisa has been released and it sucks more balls than a ball-sucking donkey.

Download Britney Spears Mona Lisa Sneak Preview MP3

Jessica Alba White Bikini

I would have posted these pictures earlier but I think I passed out for a couple of hours after seeing them. I didn't examine the photos too closely for fear that I would suffer heart failure and die, but I'm fairly certain that there isn't a shred of cellulite on Jessica Alba's butt or thighs. I'm also fairly certain that I shouldn't be left alone in a room with these pictures for fear of what terrible things I might do to myself.

Jessica Simpson Stretches Legs

Jessica Simpson's mom Tina reportedly used to stretch her legs when she was young because she thought they were too short. Jessica says "My mom was so worried that because of my long body and dwarf legs, I would grow up looking strange. So, every night, before I went to bed, she would pull them and stretch them so they would be in proportion with the rest of my body." There's a joke to be made here regarding the size of Jessica Simpson's brain, but I'm too lazy to make it. Instead, I'll just call her stupid and fat. Ahh, being lazy is fun.

Britney Spears Wants To Be Forensic Scientist

Britney Spears is reportedly set to quit pop music - to become a forensic scientist. The sexy star has allegedly told friends she is considering swapping her singing career for student life and enrolling at university to study for a degree after being motivated by [the TV series CSI]. [source]

Please let this be true. Please!

Kevin Federline Bans Britney's Shopping

Kevin Federline has supposedly banned his wife Britney Spears from shopping until she clears out her already full closet to make room for more stuff. A questionable source says "He's told her that he doesn't mind if she dumps them, sells them or gives them away. He's just desperate for her to stop hoarding and buying more." I'm having my doubts about this story though, since I can't imagine Kevin Federline having the balls to put monetary restrictions on his sugar mama.

Eva Longoria Ashamed of Boyfriend

Eva Longoria and JC Chasez have been dating for eight months, but she recently told In Touch magazine that she's officially on the market and said "To be with the same person for the rest of your life just sounds so drab." To be fair though, I don't think any woman under the age of 14 would admit to dating JC Chasez. He was in NSync for crap's sake.