Adriana Lima Vampire Fangs

How is it that somebody with such terrible teeth could be regarded as one of the bitchiest most beautiful women on the planet? I don't ask much of my supermodels, just that they be beautiful and skinny and walk around half naked all the time making products look better than they actually are, but I'd really appreciate it if they didn't sport crooked vampire fangs. Can you imagine if Adriana Lima actually got braces and went walking down runways sporting a mouthful of wire? That'd be almost as embarrassing as walking down the runway looking like a damn Dracula woman.

Project Runway

I really wanted to hate Project Runway, not only because it's another reality show with the exact same premise as every other reality show, but also because it was hosted by the amazingly overrated Heidi Klum. During the show, each designer got to pick their own personal model and I'm going to go ahead and say that at least four or five of them looked better than Heidi. I thought I had more to say about this but I guess not. Man, where'd I leave my pants?

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Jessica Simpson Daisy Duke Candids

I knew that Jessica Simpson was playing Daisy Duke, and I knew that meant she would be wearing short jean shorts, but I hadn't really prepared myself for just how wickedly hot she would look in them. I sort of recall that the original Daisy Duke wore a shirt or something, but if the producers of the new movie have decided to just go with a bikini, that's fine by me. Maybe they should just lose the whole jean shorts thing altogether and just throw Jessica Simpson in a thong. Sure it would be a slap in the face to the original series, but I think I'm okay with that.

Oh, and Jessica Simpson has huge breasts thighs. It's like they took a hot blonde and implanted her onto some tree trunks. I'm not complaining or anything, I'm just saying. Saying that she has huge thighs that is! Wait, I just said that...

Jessica Simpson Workout Video

Word on the street is that Jessica Simpson is currently working on an exercise video. She got the idea from all the squats and lunges she's been doing to firm up her butt to play Daisy Duke in the Dukes of Hazzard movie. In addition to a video, she also hopes to come out with her own line of exercise equipment. I don't know about the equipment, but as long as she wears some tight workout clothes and bares her signature breasts, I'm sure the video will sell just fine. Just fine indeed.

Adriana Lima Nipple Slip

I was watching Jay Leno a couple of weeks ago (I think I was high or drunk or both) and he had a segment where he sent some weasel to interview the gang of the Victoria's Secret Angels Across America Tour. Long story short, Adriana Lima was the absolute bitchiest supermodel I have ever seen. Imagine every stereotype you have about foreign people and supermodels, and that's exactly what Adriana was. I mean it's not like she was driving a taxi or snorting coke, but she had this thick Brazillian accent and was being the most stuck up person I have ever witnessed. Man, it's a good thing she's hot. Anyways, here are some images featuring her nipple popping out during a photoshoot. And judging from the quality of the pictures, they appear to have been taken with a shoe. Images after the jump. (nudity)

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Gisele Bundchen Nose/Boob Job

Good Plastic Surgery claims that Gisele Bundchen has gotten a rhinoplasty as well as a boob job. Looks like there's still hope for all you ugly-nosed flat-chested women out there. Just invest a few grand in plastic surgery and maybe you too could become one of the most beautiful women on the planet. Doesn't it feel like cheating when supermodels get plastic surgery though? You just naturally assume that they're this chosen few amongst a world of uggos and when it turns out that they're the work of a skilled plastic surgeon you get pissed. So pissed that you break your fist through an old woman's windshield, screaming profanities and shaking your ass like a crazy person. Or maybe that's just me...

Gisele Bundchen Nose Job [Good Plastic Surgery]
Gisele Bundchen Breast Implants
Heidi Klum Breast Implants
Tyra Banks Breast Implants <-- Bullshit

Aaron Carter L'Uomo Vogue

I'm sure somebody somewhere thought that dressing Aaron Carter like a freak and taking weird pictures of him was a good idea, but they were dead wrong. These pictures suck horrible ass. Nobody cares for androgynous looking pop stars wearing donkey (gorilla?) masks and disgusting clothes. Aaron Carter is a big enough joke as it is, without having to pose for weird European magazines. Why not just take the kid out back, stick a homsexual penis into his ass, and then publish photos from the whole thing onto the internet. Okay I'm not really sure where I was going with that, but it was probably somewhere brilliant.

Christina Aguilera

I think that this Santa dress should be mandatory clothing for all women in the month of December. Sure there are a lot of fatties out there that wouldn't make it look as good as Christina Aguilera does, but that's the kind of sacrifice you have to make when you want to see a bunch of sexy Santa-ettes walking around. And believe you me, that's something I'd very much want to see.

McRorie One Man Live

I guess it's time for this guy's 15 minutes of fame. Combining the best (if there is such a thing) of mullets, spandex, headbands, and electronic keyboards, McRorie is without a doubt one of the dumbest things you will ever see. And yet somehow people still enjoy it. Who am I to argue against the power of the mullet?

Watch McRorie One Man Live