Britney Spears Buys New Dog

The only thing more ironic than Britney Spears wearing a Harvard sweatshirt would be Alessandra Ambrosio winning the Ugly Award. You see, because Alessandra is not ugly and Britney Spears is not smart. That's how irony works, my friends.

View Britney Spears Buys New Dog [Slave4U -- thanks Suzie]

Lindsay Lohan Picturetrail Photos

I had the toughest time trying to determine whether these photos were actually of Lindsay Lohan and her friends or not, but after painstaking hours I managed to track down other pictures of her and her friends which matched close enough to put my doubt to rest. Who ever imagined that we'd someday stumble across a Picturetrail account featuring Lindsay Lohan and her friends smoking pot in the backseat of a car?

View Lindsay Lohan's Friend's Picturetrail Account (thanks everybody)

*Note: The friend is circled in the picture, not Lindsay Lohan. Some people were getting confused. That makes me sad.

**Update: The Picturetrail account has so been shut down. If anybody happened to save the pictures, send them my way so that I can put them up.

***Update: And the mirror surfaces. (thanks Matt)

****Update: And another mirror because the other one's down. (thanks Devin)

Versace Barbie

I didn't even know that they made this sort of thing. I guess every little girl wants to be just like Versace, so they can get high on cocaine and drink champagne off of naked men's abs. Not that that's what Versace does, it's just what little girls want to do.

View Versace Barbie [Barbie Collector]

Paris Hilton Brunette

Trademark blonde Paris Hilton has gone brunette – at least temporarily. The hotel heiress and Simple Life star, 23, was photographed en route to Jerry's Deli in Beverly Hills with brown tresses instead of her trademark platinum blonde. But according to Hilton's rep, the socialite's new look was not permanent. "It's a wig. She just wore a wig," says her rep, who didn't know why Paris toned down her hair. [Source -- thanks Chris]

None of that explains why she looks 50-years old though. And like Tammy Faye Bakker no less.

Ashanti

I don't care much for her music (everything she does sounds like backup), but these photos of Ashanti are admittedly hot. I normally frown upon all the bling bling, with the personalized visor and dangling gold chains, but Ashanti pulls the whole thing off. Plus, her choice in shorts is totally fine by me. If you're going to wear shorts, you might as well make them the shortest damn shorts in the world. Now if only somebody could explain why she's sweating like a damn maniac.

Lynn Collins Close Call

I'm not really familiar with Lynn Collins or any of her work, but apparently she enjoys wearing extremely low cut tops that get about as close to her nipple as humanly possible. I don't think this constitutes a nipple slip, but it's about as close as you can get before complete nippleage occurs. And yes I know 'nippleage' isn't a word, but it sounded correct at the time and I'm far too stuck up to correct myself.

View Lynn Collins Nipple Slip [Yahoo -- thanks Vincent]

Paris Hilton Screwed

According to Australian Weekly Magazine, Paris Hilton is planning to quit her pop career before it has even begun. Paris is reportedly devasted by the poor reaction to her debut single Screwed, and is ready to give up for good. "She feels no-one is giving her a chance with her music," a source revealed. "Hardly any of the radio stations will play her stuff." Life is so unfair for poor Paris Hilton.

JoJo Dreams Big

The infamously young JoJo is already thinking about her second album and declaring her wish list of collaborators. "This is so weird, but I would really like to work with Dr. Dre...because nobody would expect that." You know who especially wouldn't expect that? Dr. Dre. Because last time I checked, Dr. Dre doesn't work with teenie-bop 14-year olds who dress and act like they're 18-year old sluts. Seriously, when I saw JoJo's first music video I figured she was at least 18. Color me surprised when I discovered that she was really just a 6-year old in a 14-year old costume pretending to be an 18-year old girl. Or...something like that.

Read Jojo Wants Dr. Dre For Next Album [MTV]

Hilary Duff Rides Lollipop

It's about time somebody recognized the underrated sport of lollipop surfing and did a photoshoot in its honor. I can't say I'm a fan of Hilary Duff's giant rectangle body (I like girls to have waists and hips), but I'm going to give this photoshoot a thumbs up. There's just nothing quite like a teenie-bopped out teenie-bop posing on a giant lollipop to make me want to get totally high on cocaine. I mean giant lollipops? It's like I'm already high.