Trishelle Sells Self

You know you're a pathetic mess when you're selling "Spend a day's" on eBay. As thrilling as a day with Trishelle sounds, I think I could find a better use for my time than taking care of a drunk slut. And I know I call a lot of "celebrities" out there sluts, but I really mean it when it comes to Trishelle. I mean she was on The Real World for crap's sake, so I can only assume that all those guys she hooked up with were real. I guess maybe I'd be interested in this if it were going for $2 or something, but $1,150? Seriously? For $1,150 I could just get a professional prostitute and not have to deal with the formality of getting her drunk. Not that there's any mention of actual sex in the auction, but with Trishelle that's pretty much just assumed.

View Spend a day with Trishelle Auction @ [eBay]

Britney Spears Goes To College

Being Rich + Going to College = Trendy. I find it hard to believe that Britney Spears is interested in getting an actual education considering she's already made ten gazillion dollars being blonde. Maybe Mary-Kate and Ashley can give her tips on how to get the real college experience, seeing as how they live in seven million dollar apartments and major in....cooking?

Read Britney Goes To College @ [Teen Hollywood]

Hilary Duff Wears Shoes

I hate it when teenagers wear pumps, especially when they are ugly tie-dyed colors like these. But Hilary Duff is still strangely appealing, even though she has the body of a giant rectangle. At least she's not an eighteen year old super-skank clownwhore like her counterpart, Lindsay Lohan. Maybe because she has small boobs.

Anna Nicole Smith Drunk At American Music Awards

Even after losing all that weight, Anna Nicole Smith has somehow managed to retain all her fat woman lunacy. Here's a fun little video of her presenting Kanye West at the American Music Awards while drunk out of her mind. "Like my body?" Not as much as your drunk ass brain, Anna. Even if we started feeding her cement for breakfast, I can't really see how she could get any more stupid. At least she has big breasts and is a total whore, otherwise she'd pretty much have nothing going for her.

Watch Anna Nicole Smith Drunk At AMA Video @ [iFilm]

Elisha Cuthbert

I know that Elisha Cuthbert is supposed to be pretty, but there's something about her hair and makeup that's telling me she's a ghost from a Chinese soap opera. And unless she's secretly Hercules or Fabio, that clefted chin has got to go. I think it should be made a law that only cartoon characters and real life characters (like Fabio) should be allowed to have clefted chins.

Britney Spears Buys Dad Restaurant

Britney Spears has bought her dad a restaurant in Venice Beach called JJ Chill, a chilli and smoothie store. The restaurant has reportedly been open for only three weeks and was bought by Britney to help her father Jamie who was recently admitted to a rehab clinic for alcoholism. As delightful as a chilli and smoothie store sounds, I'm pretty it'll be going out of business soon because it's a damn chilli and smoothie store. Who in the name of crap wants chilli with their smoothies? Apparently Britney Spears, because she's an idiot with terrible taste.

View Britney And Dad Buying Venice Restaurant Gallery @ [Britney Gallery]

Ol' Dirty Bastard Dies

Ol' Dirty Bastard, a founding member of the Wu-Tang Clan and one of the most eccentric personalities in hip-hop, died of unknown causes on Saturday in New York. He would have turned 36 on Monday.

Dustin Hoffman Has Sex

Dustin Hoffman says he was 15 when he had his first sexual encounter and it was with a 20-year-old woman who thought he was his older brother, Ronny. Hoffman tells Playboy magazine, "I jumped off her, stark naked, and left the room. I wound up in the living room, and guys were sitting around having beer and talking, and I was naked. This may have been the beginning of my acting career without my knowing it, because they stood up and applauded, and I liked the applause." I don't know if I would applaud statutory rape myself, but ya know, whatever.

Angels Across America Photos

Drop Heidi Klum from the picture and the whole Angels Across America Tour could be renamed the So Gorgeous You Will Die Tour. I guess to keep people from having heart attacks left and right though, they needed somebody ugly enough to offset the crazy amount of hotness coming from Gisele, Tyra, Adriana and Alessandra. I don't want to say that Heidi Klum is ugly, but compared to her coworkers, she's the ugliest ugly ever to have come from Uglyland.

View Angels Across America Photos @ [The Adriana Lima Café -- thanks Ken]
Visit Angels Across America Site