Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson is to star opposite Seann William Scott and Johnny Knoxville in her first major screen role as Daisy Duke in a big screen version of 'The Dukes of Hazzard'. I don't know about her acting, but Jessica Simpson in totally hot short shorts should be good times. Good times indeed. Now if only they can manage to work in a couple of topless scenes, then the movie should qualify for all sorts of Academy Awards.

Read Article [Jessica Simpson to play Daisy Duke] -- thanks Chas
View Gallery [Catherine Bach as Daisy Duke Gallery]

Miss Universe

Thanks to a reader for submitting this picture of Miss Universe before makeup and before tanning. Not that she's ugly here or anything, she just doesn't look quite as spectacular as she does when she has her skirt falling off. Wait, what? Also, can anybody make out what it says on her left breast/shoulder? I'm hoping it says something scandalous like "Playboy Sex Parks", but I can't seem to make it out.

*UPDATE: Apparently her jacket says Braye Cragg Solicitors. Our lovely Miss Universe used to be a solicitor? Say it ain't so! -- thanks Robert

Alyssa Milano

I'm not going to pretend I understand why some girls look good with short hair while others look like angry lesbians, but it's one of those things I've just come to accept. In her latest photoshoot for FHM magazine, Alyssa Milano looks noticeably similar to Victoria Beckham, though with more realistic boobs and a way less bitchy face. Alyssa's one of those girls that makes you (and I emphasize YOU and not me) want to masturbate with one hand and dial the police to turn yourself in for being a pedophile with the other. Sure, she's 31 years old, but to you she's still the tiny little 12 year old from Who's The Boss. Bet you didn't know you were a sex offender, huh? Well you do now.

*Pictures Removed

Site Design / Host

If I didn't know any better, I'd say this site got a delightful little face lift. Nothing too fancy, since we were pretty pleased with the original layout, but a definite improvement. Huge thanks to Motivusk Studios for the design and Motivusk Hosting for the hosting. It's nice to finally have a host that doesn't shut your site down whenever you get an influx of visitors. If you're in need of a good affordable host, we highly recommend Motivusk Hosting. They've treated us well and, if we could, we'd have their babies.

Beckham

The News of the World reports that David and Victoria Beckham are on the verge of splitting up despite Victoria's pregnancy with their new child. In typical spoiled bitch fashion, Victoria Beckham considers herself more high-bred than David and has been going around telling everyone, ‘I've married an Essex yob.' I don't know what an 'Essex yob' is, but if it means the world's most desirable athlete, than yes, she did indeed marry an 'Essex yob.' The news of the Beckham's marital troubles is so shocking and horrifying that the only cure may be to look at Victoria Beckham's poorly done implants and thong-revealing pants. I find that looking at a girl's naughty parts usually fixes most problems.

Read Article [Posh and Becks on rocks]

Keira Knightley

19 year old Keira Knightley recently had 10" of her hair cut off in what I can only imagine was an attempt to look less spectacularly beautiful. Unfortunately, her plan failed miserably as it was discovered that she actually looks pretty good with man-hair, which is a lot more than can be said of Rosie "The Angry Lesbian" O' Donnell. The only problem with the new hair though, is that it doesn't provide the bangs necessary to cover up that enlarged forehead of hers.

Read Article [Cut! It's Keira]

Britney Spears

Britney Spears is reportedly splashing out £50,000 to throw a 72-hour hen party while her fiance Kevin Federline will be celebrating his stag night in Las Vegas with seven friends and a suitcase of cash. It must be nice to be able to afford to pay for your own parties as well as your deadbeat fiance's. It must also be nice to know that you're extremely tasteful and not a whore at all. I mean, there's nothing quite as classy as a shirt that says "MILF in training" on it. Seriously. That's classy.

Read Article [Britney's hen night in]

Tommy Lee

In his latest book Tommyland, Tommy Lee discusses the technical problems with threesomes and the inherent superiority of foursomes.

"There are only so many things you can all do together and there are a few lovely things you can do to both of them at the same time and them to you. But when it comes time for [bleeping], unless there's something out there that I don't know about, you've only got one [sex organ] so there's always someone waiting. The thing to do is have foursomes. Three chicks and just you. If you have three chicks as into one another as they are into you, you can [have sex with] one and watch the other two go at it, which adds to the overall horniness. [I] may increase the number of girls, but [I'll] never be with fewer than three." [Read]

I couldn't agree more.

Paris Hilton

RZ writes in:

This past weekend, Paris Hilton had a hot, young Hollywood newcomer by the name of Ellen Hollman fired off the set of National Lampoon's: Pledge This, because she thought Ellen was too pretty. Literally, Paris refused to come to work, until Ellen was fired off the film. She was afraid that Ellen was going to take the attention away from her in all the scenes that they shared.

Ellen, a 21 year old stunner from NYC who relocated to Los Angeles just several weeks ago, happened to be the sweetest and nicest girl on the set according to other cast memebers and the crew.