VIDEO: Paris Hilton's Carl's Jr. Commercial

So that Carl's Jr. commercial featuring Paris Hilton that was too pornographic for television is apparently not too pornographic for television after all. Proving that readers of The Superficial are the sexiest people in the world, Rob sent in an exclusive snippet to give everybody a taste of what all the hubbub is about. It honestly doesn't look that bad, though I'm basing my judgment entirely on a 5 second clip as opposed to the full 30 second commercial that will air tomorrow on Entertainment Tonight. And I'm sure the super-full 60 second version will feature Paris performing actual penetration with the car and maybe an anal scene with the hamburger. Video of Paris Hilton's Carl's Jr commercial after the jump.

The ad for the fast-food chain Carl's Jr. will feature Hilton's signature tag line, which doubles as a reference to the barbecue sauce and jalapenos-pepper laden sandwich — "that's hot."

VIDEO: Sophie Marceau nipple slip at Cannes

Sophie Marceau had herself a bit of a wardrobe malfunction when her dress fell off to reveal her entire left breast while she was being interviewed at Cannes. It's kind of sad that a classically beautiful woman like Sophie Marceau had to go through the same sort of embarrassment that a whorish alcoholic like Tara Reid had to go through, but at least Sophie has normal looking nipples whereas Tara Reid's nipples look like they were born in Hell itself. Seriously, I've seen cancerous growths that have looked more appealing than Tara's boobs.

Obviously NSFW video after the jump.

*Update: In the 0.2 seconds that her breast was exposed, photographers still managed to get a couple of shots in. NSFW images after the jump and under the video.

**Update: The video has been removed to save the site from being completely crushed. You can view a mirror here.

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Paris Hilton hates reading

According to Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton threw a tantrum in a restaurant because nobody would read the menu to her. Paris Hilton has to be the most entertaining individual in the world. She pulls the kind of crap that you would expect to see in a TV show, except it's her real life. I'm sort of hoping that she'll just lose her mind one day and start riding on the backs of servants instead of driving a car. She could even have a whip and yell things like "Faster! I'm going to be late for my important meeting!" Man, that would be so funny to watch.

"Last time I met her we were in a restaurant together - she slammed the menu down and screamed, 'I hate reading! Someone tell me what's on the menu!' I mean, I'm blonde but c'mon."

Mena Suvari gets a divorce

Remember that Mena Suvari chick from American Pie and American Beauty? Yeah me neither. Well turns out she just got a divorce, though I don't think anybody in the world even knew she was married. Or cared. Seriously, I haven't seen or thought about this woman in the past five years or something. I'm not really even sure why I'm typing this crap because I care so little about her. And what's with her and starring in movies with 'American' in the title? I bet the next movie she comes out with is The American American in America. Actually that would probably be a pretty sweet movie.

The actress, who married at just 21, has cited irreconcilable differences with cinematographer husband Robert Brinkmann.

Cameron Diaz and Shane Nickerson still huggy

See that picture to the right? That's pretty much the extent of the whole Cameron Diaz, Shane Nickerson make-out session. Pretty damning evidence isn't it? Judging by the bushes and the back of the head and the inability to see anything, I think it's fair to assume that those two have their tongues in each others' mouths. You can see more from the set at TimberlakeStyle though I seriously doubt you would want to. They're all the same and mind-numbingly boring. Thanks to Jennifer for the heads up.

Cameron Diaz and Shane Nickerson get huggy

The National Enquirer is reporting that Cameron Diaz cheated on Justin Timberlake with some guy named Shane Nickerson who she works with on the MTV show Trippin'. The story revolves around a grainy photo of Cameron and Shane hugging and I don't know how that turned into a "three minute make-out session" but considering the source is The National Enquirer, I'm surprised they didn't say something like "Cameron Diaz has three-way anal sex in public with Shane Nickerson and a koala bear." That said, Shane Nickerson actually has a blog of his own where he denies everything and talks about how The National Enquirer even showed up at his door to confront him about the picture.

Here's the other thing: It's such a ludicrous story, that there was never a moment from her of "Is this true?" In fact, I told my wife, "One of the reasons this is so stupid is because you know that if I was hooking up with CD you'd have been the first one I high-fived." She laughed because she knows me. If The National Enquirer knew me at all, they'd have saved whatever money they paid for this supposed picture.

The most surprising thing about this whole story is that The National Enquirer actually sends out reporters to do reporting-like stuff. Like with sources and everything. Crazy!