Britanny Murphy not on cocaine

Brittany Murphy says she has never snorted cocaine before and that it isn't the reason she's gotten so skinny. She insists, "I have never tried it in my entire life. I've never seen it. I am also way too high-strung. I can't even take a Sudafed. Can you imagine? My God, I think my heart would explode!" Have you ever seen this girl in real life? I think she's serious about the heart exploding thing. She's like a really hyper version of that Taco Bell dog that everybody hates. Anyways, after her breakup with Ashton Kutcher and broken engagement to an industry big-wig, she says she's now dating a normal guy from Brooklyn which she met when he was hired to hang Christmas lights at her house. Although I'm not sure when hanging Christmas lights turned into a profession. That's a job I think I could see myself doing. Ya know, if I was an idiot.

Britney Spears says no to baby

Britney Spears has reportedly abandoned plans to have a baby right now because she's terrified the weight gain will ruin her sexy image. I guess nobody has told her that being a fat cow, looking like a hobo, and being seen with acne cream all over your face aren't exactly the sexiest things in the world either. In fact, the only way Britney Spears could get any less sexy would be if she turned into a bald man. And even then, it still might be a step up.

Victoria's Secret Airport Commercial

I've never seen this Victoria's Secret commercial before so it's either really new or really old. Not that it matters, because supermodels taking off their clothes is pretty much timeless. And by timeless, I mean it's the greatest idea that humans have ever come up with. Even better than toilet paper. Video courtsey of Hedonistica.

Watch Victoria's Secret Airport Commercial (lsfw)

Mario Vasquez asked to leave American Idol

In case you've been living under your bed for the past week like I have, you're probably aware that American Idol contestant Mario Vasquez chose to leave the show last Friday citing "personal reasons." Producers say they know the reason but they've ordered him not to say anything. Well according to two sources on the set of American Idol, the real reason Mario was asked to leave was because he was hitting on the girls of the show. Shocking! Or not, whatever. It still doesn't explain why he looks like Fez.

*Update: Turns out the real reason Mario had to leave was because he's already been featured on an album before, jeapordizing his amateur status. Thanks to sarahbelle for the link. And thanks to me for posting untrue gossip!

Jessica Alba is in GQ

There’s no way for this to come out the way I mean it, so I’m just gonna say it : I don’t like gay fashion photographers. Because they pull stuff like this with perfect women like Jessica Alba. I don't know, maybe it’s me, maybe the bunched up diaper look is the next big thing, but I'm betting against it. I’m not gonna lie to you, not all of my sexual conquests have been the stuff of legend, but I draw the line at incontinence. Mostly. It's really more of a guideline.

Pictures after the jump.

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Leonardo DiCaprio practices his smile

Leonardo DiCaprio reveals that he spent hours practicing his losing smile for the Oscars because he knew he wasn’t going to win for Best Actor. Leo wasn't surprised that Jamie Foxx got the award but says, "I knew that cameras would be stuffed up my face so I had my response ready. Anyone who says they don't practice is a liar." I practice looking at porn when I'm alone. Does that count?