Ashlee Simpson is hot. Wait, what?

Leonardo DiCaprio practices his smile

Leonardo DiCaprio reveals that he spent hours practicing his losing smile for the Oscars because he knew he wasn’t going to win for Best Actor. Leo wasn't surprised that Jamie Foxx got the award but says, "I knew that cameras would be stuffed up my face so I had my response ready. Anyone who says they don't practice is a liar." I practice looking at porn when I'm alone. Does that count?

Ashton Kutcher says Demi Moore not pregnant

Responding to rumors that 42 year old Demi Moore is pregnant with his child, Ashton Kutcher said, quote, "Why am I the last person to know everything? If Demi is pregnant, she's certainly not showing yet. So, that would be news to me." Apparently the only way Ashton Kutcher would find out if he impregnated Demi Moore would be if she was showing. None of this communicating with your partner crap. If you don't look pregnant, you're not pregnant. A policy I've lived by all my life.

Lindsay Lohan denies grope-fest with Bruce Willis

Lindsay Lohan's rep insists that Lindsay wasn't messing around with Bruce Willis as reported in "The New York Post" last Thursday. The rep says they were hanging out together at a party following the premiere of his new movie "Hostage", but they were not groping each other. Lindsay's rep also wants everyone to know that Lindsay's tattoo is on her lower back and not her right butt cheek, and that it says La Bella Vita (The Beautiful Life) and not La Bella Vista (The Beautiful View) as claimed by the person who supposedly watched Bruce's hands work her jeans down low enough to display the tattoo. I guess this means Lindsay Lohan isn't a whore anymore. Oh wait, no it doesn't.

Cameron Diaz falls down

Cameron Diaz was rushed to a hospital after she fell from a chest of drawers and knocked herself unconscious. She was reportedly standing on the furniture to reach the top of a wardrobe when she slipped and hit her head. Justin Timberlake found her passed out on the floor and bleeding badly from a head wound. Paramedics at the scene thought Cameron had broken her back and rushed her to the hospital, but she ended up being treated for a back strain and received 19 stitches in her head. I don't even know what I'd do if I found Cameron Diaz lying passed out and bleeding on my floor. The only thing that comes to mind right now is poking her with a stick. I mean that's what you're supposed to do with people that have passed out right? Poke them with sticks?

Sharon Stone is topless

I have no idea what to write about these Sharon Stone topless pictures. I would call her a whore, but she seems to know that already. And she seems okay with it. I’m torn because she doesn’t really look that bad considering she’s 47, but she’s an insufferable bitch, so I’ll be dammed if I’m gonna say something nice about her. So, her tits and a story about her perpetual whoreing are here, and after the jump is something I wrote about her like two years ago for the Santas Little Helper.

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