Cameron Diaz falls down

Cameron Diaz was rushed to a hospital after she fell from a chest of drawers and knocked herself unconscious. She was reportedly standing on the furniture to reach the top of a wardrobe when she slipped and hit her head. Justin Timberlake found her passed out on the floor and bleeding badly from a head wound. Paramedics at the scene thought Cameron had broken her back and rushed her to the hospital, but she ended up being treated for a back strain and received 19 stitches in her head. I don't even know what I'd do if I found Cameron Diaz lying passed out and bleeding on my floor. The only thing that comes to mind right now is poking her with a stick. I mean that's what you're supposed to do with people that have passed out right? Poke them with sticks?

Bruce Willis and Lindsay Lohan get gropey

Action hero Bruce Willis got some action of a different kind after the screening of his new blood-and-guts flick, "Hostage." At an after-after-party at the Peninsula Hotel early yesterday, Willis, who turns 50 this month, and teen queen Lindsay Lohan, 18, enjoyed a mutual gropefest. "At one point, Bruce had Lindsay's pants down far enough to reveal a tattoo that said 'La Bella Vista' (The Beautiful View) on her right cheek," says our spywitness. Eventually, Willis and a few friends, including Lohan, took the party upstairs to his suite.

I'm all for gossip, but there's no way this can be true. What would 49 year old Bruce Willis be doing with 18 year old Lindsay Lohan? It just doesn't make sense! I mean except for that whole sex thing...I guess that sort of makes sense.

Britney Spears poses topless for Allure

Britney Spears is planning to bare all for the cover of a US fashion magazine. The 23-year-old pop princess will appear topless, except for a necklace given to her by hubby Kevin Federline, for Allure magazine.

Did anybody anywhere think for an instant that Britney Spears posing topless actually meant that she would be posing topless? Because if they did then they're an idiot. And that's the end of that! Well except for the fact that the necklace Kevin Federline got for her is the ugliest piece of crap I've ever seen. It makes me sad that we live in a world where giving somebody a giant piece of crap qualifies as a respectable gift from husband to wife. Or should I say hobo to hobette? Because Britney Spears is clearly a hobette if ever I saw one. And if you don't know what a hobette is, maybe you should start making up words like me. Then perhaps your mother will start loving you again.

This video of Britney fully clothed is even hotter than the supposed topless photoshoot. Courtesy of Hedonistica.

Victoria Beckham buys jewelry for son

For her son's sixth birthday, Victoria Beckham bought Brooklyn a pair of diamond earrings worth $47,500. She wanted him to have a pair that matched his father's diamond earrings which were made for him by Jacob the Jeweler for $142,500. So basically, Victoria Beckham is very expensively trying to turn her family into women. Sounds like a plan to me!

Lindsay Lohan denies anorexia

Lindsay Lohan is denying reports that she's suffering from anorexia, claiming that her appetite is far more healthy than most of her fellow actresses. Lindsay complains, "Even the doctor was like, 'Are you anorexic? Are you making yourself throw up? Are drugs involved?'" Lindsay says she's simply going through hormonal changes and losing her baby fat. Regarding a July 2003 "Vanity Fair" photo shoot with the Olsen twins, Mandy Moore and Hilary Duff, Lindsay says nobody but her was eating that day. She says, "I was going straight to the pasta, and the other girls were eating salad. And, I'm the one people say has an eating disorder..." I don't know where this whole eating disorder rumor started from though. By all accounts, Lindsay Lohan is still fat.

Kirsten Dunst is a vampire

It may or may not be illegal to kill people when they’re as awful as Kirsten Dunst. I don’t know, I’m not a lawyer. But if it is, I’ll just roll up in court with this picture, and when the judge says, “why did you do it,” I’ll walk over to the jury with the picture behind my back and say, “Because your honor, Kirsten Dunst … was a Werewolf!” And I'll whip the picture out and everyone will gasp, and the judge will say, “Don’t you mean Vampire.” And I’ll say, “hey look man, whatever.”

Thanks to the beautiful and talented Sara for the link.