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Sharon Stone is topless

I have no idea what to write about these Sharon Stone topless pictures. I would call her a whore, but she seems to know that already. And she seems okay with it. I’m torn because she doesn’t really look that bad considering she’s 47, but she’s an insufferable bitch, so I’ll be dammed if I’m gonna say something nice about her. So, her tits and a story about her perpetual whoreing are here, and after the jump is something I wrote about her like two years ago for the Santas Little Helper.

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Bruce Willis and Lindsay Lohan get gropey

Action hero Bruce Willis got some action of a different kind after the screening of his new blood-and-guts flick, "Hostage." At an after-after-party at the Peninsula Hotel early yesterday, Willis, who turns 50 this month, and teen queen Lindsay Lohan, 18, enjoyed a mutual gropefest. "At one point, Bruce had Lindsay's pants down far enough to reveal a tattoo that said 'La Bella Vista' (The Beautiful View) on her right cheek," says our spywitness. Eventually, Willis and a few friends, including Lohan, took the party upstairs to his suite.

I'm all for gossip, but there's no way this can be true. What would 49 year old Bruce Willis be doing with 18 year old Lindsay Lohan? It just doesn't make sense! I mean except for that whole sex thing...I guess that sort of makes sense.

Britney Spears poses topless for Allure

Britney Spears is planning to bare all for the cover of a US fashion magazine. The 23-year-old pop princess will appear topless, except for a necklace given to her by hubby Kevin Federline, for Allure magazine.

Did anybody anywhere think for an instant that Britney Spears posing topless actually meant that she would be posing topless? Because if they did then they're an idiot. And that's the end of that! Well except for the fact that the necklace Kevin Federline got for her is the ugliest piece of crap I've ever seen. It makes me sad that we live in a world where giving somebody a giant piece of crap qualifies as a respectable gift from husband to wife. Or should I say hobo to hobette? Because Britney Spears is clearly a hobette if ever I saw one. And if you don't know what a hobette is, maybe you should start making up words like me. Then perhaps your mother will start loving you again.

This video of Britney fully clothed is even hotter than the supposed topless photoshoot. Courtesy of Hedonistica.

Victoria Beckham buys jewelry for son

For her son's sixth birthday, Victoria Beckham bought Brooklyn a pair of diamond earrings worth $47,500. She wanted him to have a pair that matched his father's diamond earrings which were made for him by Jacob the Jeweler for $142,500. So basically, Victoria Beckham is very expensively trying to turn her family into women. Sounds like a plan to me!

Lindsay Lohan denies anorexia

Lindsay Lohan is denying reports that she's suffering from anorexia, claiming that her appetite is far more healthy than most of her fellow actresses. Lindsay complains, "Even the doctor was like, 'Are you anorexic? Are you making yourself throw up? Are drugs involved?'" Lindsay says she's simply going through hormonal changes and losing her baby fat. Regarding a July 2003 "Vanity Fair" photo shoot with the Olsen twins, Mandy Moore and Hilary Duff, Lindsay says nobody but her was eating that day. She says, "I was going straight to the pasta, and the other girls were eating salad. And, I'm the one people say has an eating disorder..." I don't know where this whole eating disorder rumor started from though. By all accounts, Lindsay Lohan is still fat.