Aaron Carter Car Explodes

Entertainment Tonight reports that pop star Aaron Carter had what he calls a "near death experience" last Thursday morning when the car he was driving caught fire on a Florida highway. Seventeen-year-old Carter, was driving to a photoshoot when a mattress fell off the truck that he was following. He was unable to avoid the mattress so he drove his Cadillac Escalade over it, causing the car to ignite. After pulling over to the side of the road the vehicle exploded, with Carter narrowly escaping with only minor injuries. I'd comment that it's a shame Aaron made it out, but I'm more surprised that Escalades can't seem to make it over mattresses without exploding. Looks like 90% of the hip-hop population have invested in some quality SUV's.

Hilary Duff Eats Sandwich

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston Separate

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston have separated after 4 1/2 years of marriage. "We would like to announce that after seven years together we have decided to formally separate," they said. "For those who follow these sorts of things, we would like to explain that our separation is not the result of any of the speculation reported by the tabloid media. This decision is a result of much thoughtful consideration. We happily remain committed and caring friends with great love and admiration for one another. We ask in advance for your kindness and sensitivity in the coming months." It's probably for the best that these two never had a child. Their combined genes would have created a beautiful monster the likes of which no human could resist. Hey, sort of like me!

Read Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston Separate [Yahoo]

Portia de Rossi Removes Tattoo

Portia de Rossi has reportedly made an appointment with a dermatologist to get rid of a little tattoo on her ring finger featuring the initials of her former lover. Portia dumped Francesca Gregorini for Ellen DeGeneres and now wants to get the "FG" inked on her ring finger permanently removed. Here's a little tip for all you people who feel the need to get somebody's name tattooed on you. Don't. Unless it's mine. In which case, tattoo it all over your face and genitals.

Anticlown Daily

You guys clearly haven't been paying enough attention to our sibling site Anticlown Daily. If it was possible for awesome and humor to have a baby, Anticlown Daily would probably be it. Plus, their ability to kill ninjas by being totally sweet is a force to be reckoned with.

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Anna Kournikova Checks Yellow Bikini

I can only speculate as to why Anna Kournikova would be checking out her vagina in public, but it probably has to do with Enrique Iglesias' terribly unsanitary genitalia. I don't want to start any rumors, but I hear he has 13 STD's, never showers, and always walks pantless through the local landfill.

View Anna Kournikova Yellow Bikini Gallery

*Update: Here's a mirror with thumbnails.