Vanessa Carlton InStyle Outtakes

Whatever happened to Vanessa Carlton? I remember she came out with a single like four years ago but then I guess everybody realized how much she sucked and then she sort of just disappeared. To be fair though, it's hard to make it in the music industry when you look as ugly as Vanessa Carlton does. I think her and Kirsten Dunst need to have a head to head competition to determine once and for all who has the uglier face. They could stare at a group of highschool kids and whoever caused the most amount of people to vomit would be declared the winner. And in the very possible situation that every single person vomited for both of them, a tie would be declared and they could both share the title of ugliest human being on the planet.

Back With A Vengeance

Well I'm finally back from my sweet little vacation. I'd fill you in on the details, but I find that talking about sexual encounters with outrageously beautiful women gets really old really fast. Unfortunately, I don't have any such stories so I'll just pretend that nothing happened and continue with posting as usual.

The Superficial Will Be Back On December 31st

I forgot to mention that I'll be out of town for the next two and a half weeks and I don't know what my internet situation will be like. Odds are I won't have any, so I'll just go ahead and say that there won't be any new posts for awhile. I get back on the 31st so hopefully you can manage to survive two weeks and two days without my stupid blabbering. And in case you didn't know that my blabbering was stupid, it is indeed very stupid. To hold you over, here are some nice shots of a lovely Mandy Moore from a somewhat less lovely Teen People. Word on the street is that she's hot, but I'm more into that Kevin Federline. He's so dreamy!

Adriana Lima

I think it's funny how in the first picture Adriana Lima seems to be taking herself so seriously. "Ooh look at me pose like this. I'm a professional, don't try this at home." Which is pretty good advice actually, because if you tried this kind of crap at home you would be laughed out of society. It's hard to believe that people actually pose like that for non-studio shots, but I guess when you're the personification of conceited, that's the kind of thing you do.

Britney Spears Spoils Dog

While staying at the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas for the Billboard Music Awards, Britney Spears reportedly ordered a $180 steak for Bitbit, her pet Chihuahua. It makes me sad to think that a damn dog is eating better than I do. I'd probably be okay with it too, except that it's a Chihuahua and nothing pisses me off more than stupid little Chihuahuas. I'm pretty sure those rat-monsters don't even count as dogs.

Anna Kournikova Marries Mole Man

Us Weekly reports that Russian tennis star Anna Kournikova has secretly married her boyfriend Enrique Iglesias. Anna was seen wearing a wedding band on her ring finger at a charity tennis event in Florida this past weekend and, when asked about the ring, Kournikova was heard to say, "Enrique is great. Everything is awesome. We are married." That sounds like pretty solid reporting to me, though I had no idea that Anna was a frickin' robot. I mean seriously, who talks like that?

Oh, and reader Evan sends in a picture of Anna supposedly naked with Enrique Iglesias. I didn't study it enough to determine whether it's real or not, but I'll just assume it is and move on with my life. Image after the jump. (nudity)

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