Back With A Vengeance

Well I'm finally back from my sweet little vacation. I'd fill you in on the details, but I find that talking about sexual encounters with outrageously beautiful women gets really old really fast. Unfortunately, I don't have any such stories so I'll just pretend that nothing happened and continue with posting as usual.

The Superficial Will Be Back On December 31st

I forgot to mention that I'll be out of town for the next two and a half weeks and I don't know what my internet situation will be like. Odds are I won't have any, so I'll just go ahead and say that there won't be any new posts for awhile. I get back on the 31st so hopefully you can manage to survive two weeks and two days without my stupid blabbering. And in case you didn't know that my blabbering was stupid, it is indeed very stupid. To hold you over, here are some nice shots of a lovely Mandy Moore from a somewhat less lovely Teen People. Word on the street is that she's hot, but I'm more into that Kevin Federline. He's so dreamy!

Adriana Lima

I think it's funny how in the first picture Adriana Lima seems to be taking herself so seriously. "Ooh look at me pose like this. I'm a professional, don't try this at home." Which is pretty good advice actually, because if you tried this kind of crap at home you would be laughed out of society. It's hard to believe that people actually pose like that for non-studio shots, but I guess when you're the personification of conceited, that's the kind of thing you do.

Britney Spears Spoils Dog

While staying at the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas for the Billboard Music Awards, Britney Spears reportedly ordered a $180 steak for Bitbit, her pet Chihuahua. It makes me sad to think that a damn dog is eating better than I do. I'd probably be okay with it too, except that it's a Chihuahua and nothing pisses me off more than stupid little Chihuahuas. I'm pretty sure those rat-monsters don't even count as dogs.

Anna Kournikova Marries Mole Man

Us Weekly reports that Russian tennis star Anna Kournikova has secretly married her boyfriend Enrique Iglesias. Anna was seen wearing a wedding band on her ring finger at a charity tennis event in Florida this past weekend and, when asked about the ring, Kournikova was heard to say, "Enrique is great. Everything is awesome. We are married." That sounds like pretty solid reporting to me, though I had no idea that Anna was a frickin' robot. I mean seriously, who talks like that?

Oh, and reader Evan sends in a picture of Anna supposedly naked with Enrique Iglesias. I didn't study it enough to determine whether it's real or not, but I'll just assume it is and move on with my life. Image after the jump. (nudity)

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Linday Lohan Drinks Alcohol

Lindsay Lohan admits she drinks alcohol, smokes cigarettes and parties in nightclubs despite the fact that she's not of legal drinking age. When asked how she manages to get served or enter the adult clubs, Lohan said, "You go in the back door." Lindsay says she doesn't order the drinks herself and usually just takes sips of her friends' drinks. That's all good and well, but none of that explains why she ever dated Wilmer Valderrama or, more importantly, how that foreign little bastard managed to get Mandy Moore as well. Maybe he's like a tiny little sorceror or something.