Britney Spears & Kevin Federline Clothing Line

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are supposedly working on their very own line of His and Her clothing. A source says, "They are really hot on this, especially Kevin. He thinks he has great style." Sorry Kevin, but dressing like a hillbilly hobo isn't really considered "great style." Maybe if wife beaters and giant clown pants ever come into style then you'll be onto something, but until then maybe you should just chill the fuck out.

Naomi Campbell Rampages

Naomi Campbell is being investigated for allegedly assaulting another of her personal assistants, 31-year old Amie Castaldo. Included in Castaldo's complaint was lip biting, yanking to the ground by her hair, and a head-butt. Yes you heard me right, when in crazy mode, Naomi Campbell head-butts people. I know Marines that don't even head-butt, but I guess they just don't have the killer instinct that Naomi has. Wait did I say 'killer instinct'? I meant complete lack of mental stability. The whole incident reportedly started when Naomi falsely accused Castaldo of failing to line up the right stylist to make Naomi up for an event earlier this month. That sounds pretty legitimate to me. I mean if somebody messed up my stylist, I'd probably have to head-butt them too.

Christina Ricci

I think that if I had a giant disgusting mole in the middle of my chest I would do everything in my power to avoid wearing shirts with giant holes in them. I guess that's the difference between me and Christina Ricci though. I prefer to avoid looking disgusting while she does the exact opposite. I never thought that in my lifetime I would see a real life zombie wearing an ugly dress and a terrible pair of really golden shoes. Seriously though, she needs to cover that mole up. Nobody wants to see that.

-- thanks Perry

UPDATE: A number of people have pointed out that the woman in the background appears to have urinated all over the carpet while walking backwards. Good job, old woman. Urinating in public places is neat.

Pink Is Disgusting

As much as I make fun of Britney Spears for being ugly and trashy, Pink takes the cake when it comes to being the ugliest, trashiest singer of them all. Hell, she takes the whole damn bakery. It's bad enough that her face looks like crap, but her body is one of the most unattractive ever seen on a pop star. It looks like the body of a male mechanic who decided to get terribly done breast implants for the sole reason of making other men turn away in disgust. I'm pretty sure I would throw up if I ever saw a glimpse of those breasts, and I'm positive I would if I ever saw that face.

-- thanks Mandy

Nick & Jessica Christmas Special Promos

Despite rumors that their marriage is ending, Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey have managed to churn out yet another TV Special for ABC. Based on the promos and my knowledge of Nick and Jessica's talent, I think it's safe to say that their Christmas Special is going to suck more balls than a Mexican prostitute. And in case you're unfamiliar with Mexican prostitutes, that's a whole lot of sucking. Maybe everybody will be so distracted by Nick's uglyass sweaters that they won't notice how terrible everything else is.

View Nick and Jessica Christmas Special Promos

Star Jones & Al Reynolds Have Website

Star Jones and Al Reynolds were married last last Saturday and the only thing more annoying than their marriage is their website which chronicles the whole damn thing. Can somebody explain to me why I have to give out my email address in order to view the piles of crap that they've gathered about themselves and that I don't give a donkey's testicle about? I've got no problem with marriage sites in general, but this one just pisses me off with its pretentiousness. "Hey, I'm fat and I talk a lot and I'm sort of famous so everybody pay attention to me because I just got married. And give me your email address because you don't get enough spam. Mmm...Spam."

Visit Star and Al Marriage Website
-- thanks Mary