Elisha Cuthbert

I know that Elisha Cuthbert is supposed to be pretty, but there's something about her hair and makeup that's telling me she's a ghost from a Chinese soap opera. And unless she's secretly Hercules or Fabio, that clefted chin has got to go. I think it should be made a law that only cartoon characters and real life characters (like Fabio) should be allowed to have clefted chins.

Britney Spears Buys Dad Restaurant

Britney Spears has bought her dad a restaurant in Venice Beach called JJ Chill, a chilli and smoothie store. The restaurant has reportedly been open for only three weeks and was bought by Britney to help her father Jamie who was recently admitted to a rehab clinic for alcoholism. As delightful as a chilli and smoothie store sounds, I'm pretty it'll be going out of business soon because it's a damn chilli and smoothie store. Who in the name of crap wants chilli with their smoothies? Apparently Britney Spears, because she's an idiot with terrible taste.

View Britney And Dad Buying Venice Restaurant Gallery @ [Britney Gallery]

Ol' Dirty Bastard Dies

Ol' Dirty Bastard, a founding member of the Wu-Tang Clan and one of the most eccentric personalities in hip-hop, died of unknown causes on Saturday in New York. He would have turned 36 on Monday.

Dustin Hoffman Has Sex

Dustin Hoffman says he was 15 when he had his first sexual encounter and it was with a 20-year-old woman who thought he was his older brother, Ronny. Hoffman tells Playboy magazine, "I jumped off her, stark naked, and left the room. I wound up in the living room, and guys were sitting around having beer and talking, and I was naked. This may have been the beginning of my acting career without my knowing it, because they stood up and applauded, and I liked the applause." I don't know if I would applaud statutory rape myself, but ya know, whatever.

Angels Across America Photos

Drop Heidi Klum from the picture and the whole Angels Across America Tour could be renamed the So Gorgeous You Will Die Tour. I guess to keep people from having heart attacks left and right though, they needed somebody ugly enough to offset the crazy amount of hotness coming from Gisele, Tyra, Adriana and Alessandra. I don't want to say that Heidi Klum is ugly, but compared to her coworkers, she's the ugliest ugly ever to have come from Uglyland.

View Angels Across America Photos @ [The Adriana Lima Café -- thanks Ken]
Visit Angels Across America Site

Hillary Duff Bulks Up

I know that celebrities are regular people like you or your friend (not me, I'm incredibly special) but it's just funny to see them sporting Louis Vuitton purses while chowing down on potato chips and Snapple. I wasn't even aware that potato chips and Snapple existed in Louis Vuitton's world. I had always just thought that there was some expensive substitute like caviar chips and Snappagne. And before you start telling me that Snappagne is the dumbest thing you've ever heard, what would you call the Snapple version of champagne? Not so easy is it?