Paris Hilton Groped At Halloween Party

Star tabloid says that Paris stormed out of Hugh Hefner's annual Halloween Party at the Playboy Mansion just 90 minutes after she had arrived because as she was making her way through a haunted house, some employee dressed as a ghoul allegedly jumped out and grabbed her inappropriately. A witness says Paris shouted for help and demanded to "file a complaint against the mansion." A Playboy Mansion security guard told Paris that having someone jump out and grab her was supposed to be part of the experience, but Paris still wasn't happy about it and jumped into her limo and took off. Meanwhile, a Playboy spokesman has a different take on the story. He says there was no groping and that Paris just got ticked off and left because a male friend of hers got thrown out of the party for fighting.

I don't know about you, but I'd like to be part of this "Halloween experience" where you get to grope Paris Hilton inappropriately. Except maybe replace Paris Hilton with Alessandra Ambrosio and replace 'grope inappropriately' with 'have ferocious sex with.' Good times.

Alessandra Ambrosio

I hate to say it, but I think Tyra Banks reign as supermodel queen has passed. Her looks are fading and, judging by her hosting abilities on America's Next Top Model, so is her mind. Not that I don't appreciate all her supermodel wisdom, but I don't really need to hear all the bullshit that her and her cohosts come up with. Nobody cares if one contestant lifted her arm too high or didn't pout enough or looked left instead of right. Being a model isn't a job. Everybody appreciates what they do but they're not fooling anybody into thinking what they do is hard work. "Ooh I have to stand up for an hour at a time and sometimes it gets cold." Good lord, it gets cold?! Maybe they are earning the millions of dollars that they get paid.

I'm not sure how I got all sidetracked but what I meant to say here was that Tyra Banks is old and that Alessandra Ambrosio is so devastatingly beautiful that when she walks down the street, people actually die.

Jessica Alba

There's no good reason why I'm posting this Jessica Alba gallery except that somebody submitted it and I figure there's no such thing as too much Jessica Alba. There is such thing as too much nacho cheese, however, as I learned the hard way last Thanksgiving. I've never seen so much nacho colored puke before in my life. And with that I present to you Jessica Alba.

View Jessica Alba Gallery -- thanks Mitcon

Jay Leno Makes Joke

"NBC had a new turkey reality show last night, The $25 Million Hoax. Anybody watch this thing? Nobody? The $25 Million Hoax, or as Britney Spears calls it, a marriage."

Surprising that Jay Leno managed to get a joke out that doesn't suck.

*EDIT: Looking back on it, this joke doesn't make any sense at all. Is he implying that Britney's marriage is a hoax that cost $25 million? Because that's stupid. Looks like Leno has manged to suck yet again.

Victoria's Secret: Angels Across America

The Superficial Halloween Costume Contest

I finally went through all the entries for The Superficial Halloween Costume Contest and put the gallery together. Some of the entries barely even constitute costumes but I figured I might as well put them up anyways because the only thing more fun than admiring a good costume is making fun of a terrible one. I'll announce the winners over the next couple of days, but for now you can take a look at the entries and make up your own minds. Oh, and I'm also open to bribes as long as you're a hot girl and your idea of a bribe is something along the lines of sex.

View The Superficial Halloween Costume Contest Entries (56k)

Continue Reading