Amanda Bynes Is Skinny

I'm all for the skinny girls, but Amanda Bynes is pushing it too far. Judging by the looks of her legs and arms and rest of her body, I'd say she weighs about 185 lbs. Ha! Bet you thought I was going to say some ridiculously low number like 65 lbs eh? Well I'm tricky. You have to watch out for my tricks. Seriously though, nobody wants to have sex with somebody that looks they're going to break in half.

View Amanda Bynes Gallery @ [Fubar]

The Superficial Halloween Costume Contest

Tomorrow's the last day to enter The Superficial Halloween Costume Contest so be sure to get your submissions in. I'm pretty disappointed with what I've gotten thus far, so get your act together and send me the good stuff.

Tara Reid Gives Up Partying

People magazine has an article about Tara Reid giving up the party lifestyle, but that's about as believable as Kirsten Dunst giving up the ugly troll lifestyle. Which, in case you're a moron, isn't very. Although I will admit that Tara Reid is way more attractive than Kirsten Dunst, she's still terribly ugly. If you're into drunk pudgy party sluts then I'm sure you disagree, but I just like to set my standards a little higher. I need my women to at least have a chin.

Jessica Alba Estylo Photoshoot

I know I said that the thing on Jessica Alba's chin bothered me, but sometimes you have to overlook little blemishes like that when you're faced with such an outrageous amount of excellence. I don't know if it's the hair or the shirt or the fact that Jessica Alba is an insane beauty Goddess, but these photos get my patent-pending Superficial Star Award. So if Jessica would just kindly stop by, I'll give her her well deserved prize: tons of sex with me.

Christina Aguilera Halloween Costume

I can only assume that this was Christina Aguilera's Halloween costume, though it's hard to tell considering what she normally wears. It must be fun to live in your own crazy fairytale world, where you can dress like you're from the 17th century whenever you want. Not that I'm complaining though, because those bustier things sure know how to make a waist look tiny and a chest look firm. I should start up a petition to bring those bad boys back. Mandatory bustiers for all women! Geez, what the hell am I talking about?

Britney Spears Hires Hypnotherapist To Help Quit Smoking

Britney Spears has decided to hire a hypnotherapist to help her quit smoking before she becomes a mom. Sounds like a pretty good idea, considering smoking has this nasty habit of killing people. Now if only Britney could hire a hypnotherapist to help her quit being a trailer trash whore. Seriously, I miss the old super hot Britney. Those were good times.

Read Britney To Attend Quit Smoking Classes @ [Female First]