Jessica Alba Estylo Photoshoot

I know I said that the thing on Jessica Alba's chin bothered me, but sometimes you have to overlook little blemishes like that when you're faced with such an outrageous amount of excellence. I don't know if it's the hair or the shirt or the fact that Jessica Alba is an insane beauty Goddess, but these photos get my patent-pending Superficial Star Award. So if Jessica would just kindly stop by, I'll give her her well deserved prize: tons of sex with me.

Christina Aguilera Halloween Costume

I can only assume that this was Christina Aguilera's Halloween costume, though it's hard to tell considering what she normally wears. It must be fun to live in your own crazy fairytale world, where you can dress like you're from the 17th century whenever you want. Not that I'm complaining though, because those bustier things sure know how to make a waist look tiny and a chest look firm. I should start up a petition to bring those bad boys back. Mandatory bustiers for all women! Geez, what the hell am I talking about?

Britney Spears Hires Hypnotherapist To Help Quit Smoking

Britney Spears has decided to hire a hypnotherapist to help her quit smoking before she becomes a mom. Sounds like a pretty good idea, considering smoking has this nasty habit of killing people. Now if only Britney could hire a hypnotherapist to help her quit being a trailer trash whore. Seriously, I miss the old super hot Britney. Those were good times.

Read Britney To Attend Quit Smoking Classes @ [Female First]

Avril Lavigne Hooters Outfit

I'm not going to take back my previous statements about Avril Lavigne being a fake lameass, but I will admit that she looks somewhat decent dressed in the Hooters uniform. Although I could get better quality pictures with my camera phone, there's enough here to suggest that maybe she looks pretty good. Then again, it'd be hard to find a girl that didn't look twice as hot dressed in the signature tanktop and orange shorts. Yeah, about as hard as Kirstie Alley.

View Avril Lavigne in Hooters Outfit @ [ALavigne -- thanks Mark]

Paris Hilton Smoking Joint In Bikini

To be fair to Paris, I can't really even tell if that's marijuana in her hand or not. For all I know, it could very well be completely legal tobacco. Though I'm not sure what a hip girl like Paris would be doing with boring old tobacco. All the cool people know that marijuana is the way to go. Just kidding kids, say no to drugs. Except for cocaine. That stuff rocks.

View Paris Hilton Smoking Joint In Bikini --thanks Julie

Katie Price (Jordan) CKM Photoshoot

Polish Magazine CKM has a photoshoot featuring everybody's favorite big breasted Briton (look at the alliteration!). I know I'm going to hate myself later for saying this, but Jordan's breasts are out of control. I'm all for the big breasts, but she's like a damn cartoon character. And not the sexy kind like Jessica Rabbit, but more the weird freakish kind like uh...big breasted Jordan? The point is that once the novelty of having giant watermelon breasts wears off, you're left with a woman that's going to look incredibly horrifying at age 60. Can you imagine the sag that those things are going to acquire? Well I can, and let me tell you it isn't pretty. It isn't pretty at all. *shudder*

(warning: nsfw)