Avril Lavigne Hooters Outfit

I'm not going to take back my previous statements about Avril Lavigne being a fake lameass, but I will admit that she looks somewhat decent dressed in the Hooters uniform. Although I could get better quality pictures with my camera phone, there's enough here to suggest that maybe she looks pretty good. Then again, it'd be hard to find a girl that didn't look twice as hot dressed in the signature tanktop and orange shorts. Yeah, about as hard as Kirstie Alley.

View Avril Lavigne in Hooters Outfit @ [ALavigne -- thanks Mark]

Paris Hilton Smoking Joint In Bikini

To be fair to Paris, I can't really even tell if that's marijuana in her hand or not. For all I know, it could very well be completely legal tobacco. Though I'm not sure what a hip girl like Paris would be doing with boring old tobacco. All the cool people know that marijuana is the way to go. Just kidding kids, say no to drugs. Except for cocaine. That stuff rocks.

View Paris Hilton Smoking Joint In Bikini --thanks Julie

Katie Price (Jordan) CKM Photoshoot

Polish Magazine CKM has a photoshoot featuring everybody's favorite big breasted Briton (look at the alliteration!). I know I'm going to hate myself later for saying this, but Jordan's breasts are out of control. I'm all for the big breasts, but she's like a damn cartoon character. And not the sexy kind like Jessica Rabbit, but more the weird freakish kind like uh...big breasted Jordan? The point is that once the novelty of having giant watermelon breasts wears off, you're left with a woman that's going to look incredibly horrifying at age 60. Can you imagine the sag that those things are going to acquire? Well I can, and let me tell you it isn't pretty. It isn't pretty at all. *shudder*

(warning: nsfw)

Miss Vietnam 2004

Uh...no offense to Miss Vietnam 2004, but she's really ugly. Maybe they don't understand the concept of a beauty pangeant over there in Vietnam, because there's no reason that this thing should be winning any sort of beauty contest, let alone Miss Vietnam. To be fair, I guess she's not really that ugly, it's just that I expected more of the winner of a national beauty pangeant.

Ashlee Simpson Challenges Avril Lavigne As Most Annoying Singer

Ashlee Simpson is going on tour in January despite the fact that she's the current laughing stock of the music industry. I mean, when Avril Lavigne starts lecturing your integrity as a singer, you know you've hit rock bottom. Avril says, quote, "There are a lot of people out there today who have become stars only because they have connections and only because they have money and for the wrong reason. And it sucks." Hey, you know what else sucks, Avril? You. As much as I think Ashlee Simpson is an untalented blame-placing shmuck, Avril Lavigne will always be the queen of lameass wannabe punk. I'd like to say more, but my mother wouldn't like the things that would come out of my mouth if I did. She says no to profanity.

The Superficial Halloween Costume Contest

I probably should have announced this thing before Halloween, but poor planning and a terrible work ethic sort of got in the way. Anyways, if you somehow managed to predict that we were going to do this and happened to get a picture of your costume, then send a copy to contest@thesuperficial.com. Even if your costume sucks harder than a desperate prostitute, we'll be posting anything that we even remotely like. And although an official winner will be announced, the only prize that we could come up with was a swift kick to the balls. And in case of a woman winning (which is a very real possibility considering slutty costumes are usually way more awesome than non slutty ones), we've opted to replace the prize with an equally satisfactory squeezing of the breasts. Degrading? Maybe. Totally awesome? Definitely.

So if you've got what it takes to be in the best costume contest this side of Canada, send your entries to contest@thesuperficial.com. Entries will be accepted until Friday, and a winner will be announced whenever. And, in case none of the above mentioned prizes sounded desirable, we'll also throw in a Gmail invite for good measure.