Britney Spears Nipple Slip Outtake

A reader sent this picture in claiming that it was an unused outtake from one of Britney Spears' photoshoots. I can't verify the authenticity of it, but if it's a fake, it's a pretty damn good one. The giant X suggests that it is indeed an outtake, and the saggy freckly cleavage suggests that it is indeed Britney Spears' chest. And I know I only had sex with her seven or eight times, but I'd recognize the edge of her nipples anywhere. I don't know what kind of sad bastards would get off to 1/4 cm of a nipple though, but here it is if you want it. And for future reference, it makes me really uncomfortable knowing that people are browsing this site with one hand down their pants. Seriously, that's just rude.

Brandon Routh Cast As New Superman

Say hello to the new Superman, 25 year old Brandon Routh. I don't want to sound out of line here, but I've got the nagging hunch that Bryan Singer is going to fuck up the new Superman movie. Neither of the X-Men movies were as spectacular as they should have been, and this Brandon Routh fellow doesn't really look up to the task of taking on such a legendary franchise. Sure, he's 6'2" but where are all the muscles? I sort of recall Superman has being the muscley type. Ya know, because he's Superman. Maybe Singer and Routh will surprise me though, and Superman will turn out to be the greatest film of this generation. And maybe I won't have sex with any supermodels tonight.

Read Look, Up in the Sky: Brandon Routh! @ [E! Online]

Ashlee Simpson SNL Screwup

I don't know about you, but when I'm faced with the realization that all of America is about to discover what a fake I am, I don't normally break out into a weird Irish jig. And yet that's exactly what Ashlee Simpson did during the horrific disaster that was her SNL performance. I don't know who's to blame, but here's a recap of the whole thing: Ashlee's lip synching track starts playing before she even puts the mic to her mouth and it's not even the right track so it starts fading out, and then the band gets confused so they start playing, but then Ashlee Simpson is a dumbass so she does a little jig and then walks off stage while her band continues to try and salvage the whole thing. I shit you not, this really happened.

And if the revelation that she can't sing wasn't bad enough, she tries to top her own dumbassery by blaming the whole thing on her band. "My band started playing the wrong song and I didn't know what to do so I thought I'd do a hoedown." Shut up! It's bad enough that her banshee sister became hugely popular for having the IQ of a grape, but Ashlee doesn't even have that. She can't sing, she's not entertainingly dumb (she's just plain dumb), and she doesn't have enormous boobs. So basically, Ashlee Simpson is a complete failure and the way she handled her lip synching fiasco just proves that she truly is the lamest individual on the face of the planet. The sad thing is that her career is still probably going to continue and be successful even after something like this. America makes me sad.

View Ashlee Simpson SNL Screwup Video @ [College Humor]
Read Did 'Saturday Night Live' expose Ashlee Simpson's extra help? @ [USA Today]

Jennifer Lopez

A reader writes in that "J. Lo recently fired her f-ing genius makeup artist Scott Barnes. Since then she has been running around with bright white circles around her eyes. Hence, new makeup artist...SUCKS!"

Ahh, so that explains why Jennifer is such an annoying fatass. Oh wait, it doesn't? Well she is anyways. I hate it when some whiny girl goes on some makeover show or plastic surgery show or some other piece of crap show and starts saying how great Jennifer Lopez is and how they idolize her and how their life would be perfect if they just looked like her. Sorry, you stupid little girls, but Jennifer Lopez is so annoying that orphans die whenever they see her. The end.

Tara Reid & Sister

Am I the only person that didn't know that Tara Reid had a sister? And not just a sister, but a sister that looks so similar to her that they share the same terrible boob job. I understand that when you're a young blonde in Hollywood it's almost mandatory that you get breast implants, but nowhere is it stated that they have to be terribly done. I can't think of any great boob jobs off the top of my head, but I can't really think of any worse ones than these either.

I understand why people think Tara Reid is hot, because she reminds them of all the slutty sorority girls that were in college, but she's seriously ugly. Take away those fake boobs and blonde hair and you're left with a flat-chested bald thing that's probably very ugly. Wait, I was going somewhere with that but now I can't remember because there's a horrifying image of a bald monster in my head. Oh well, at least Tara's sister isn't shy about her nipple.

Christina Aguilera

Christina Aguilera has paired up with Nelly for some piece of crap song called Tilt Ya' Head Back which I haven't even heard but I know is a piece of crap because it features Nelly and it's called Tilt Ya' Head Back. Didn't he already come out with a song called Tilt Ya' Head Back or was that one of the other billion "hip-hop" artists out there who can't come up with original titles? And if you didn't get it, I put "hip-hop" in quotes because Nelly is really more pop than he is hip-hop, but the top of the mop is really hip pop. What the fuck?

Anyways, here's Christina Aguilera's great big boobies from the music video. I never noticed before, but it looks like Christina's fake mole is actually a piercing. Who knew?