Mystery Man

More than one person has written in regarding the similarities between Paris Hilton's escort and Tara Reid's escort. They both have the same horrible taste in fashion, they both have dumpy looking faces, and they both have a weird fascination with ugly white hats. They look similar enough, but I just can't tell if they're the same person or not. If anybody out there has any information regarding this mystery man, please let us know. Personally, I'm hoping that he's some high end male escort that stars hire when they're really in the mood for sex with a gorilla man.

*UPDATE: Apparently, gorrila man is a mutual friend of both Paris Hilton and Tara Reid. I guess that sort of explains it, though I'm still going with my male prostitute idea.

Paris Hilton

Britney Spears

When he asked [Britney Spears] what was the last thing she'd had in her mouth, she replied "a dildo". [read]

Blah blah Britney Spears is a slut blah blah blah. She's fallen so low that it's not even fun anymore.

Katie Price (aka Jordan)

The infamous 34FF Jordan wants to remove her giant fake breasts in an effort to be taken more seriously. It didn't work for Pamela Anderson or Jenny McCarthy and it's not gonna work for Jordan. No matter what, these stupid blondes can't seem to survive without their big fake breasts. It's like their bodies have formed some sort of biological attachment to them and slowly die with every day that the implants aren't inside. Sure, Jordan's implants are a little more excessive than the average Hollywood blonde, but that's what defines her as Jordan. Does she really think anybody is gonna give a crap about her if she has normal sized breasts? Somebody needs to smack some sense into this woman. If you're blonde and you're stupid and you're not that pretty, the only way you'll get attention is if you have gigantic boobs. Damn, I'm a good role model.

Read Article [Jordan to see a shrink]

Lindsay Lohan

Looks like bra-showing tops are the new fashion in Hollywood. I guess if I paid $5000 for my boobs, I'd want to show them off as well.

Heidi Klum

Apparently Heidi Klum can't get married because it would violate her Victoria's Secret contract which stipulates that she can't alter her "highly marketable image." I guess being a loose slut is the sort of image Victoria's Secret is going for, considering Heidi Klum recently gave birth to the illegitimate child of Flavio Briatore and nobody seemed to care. So the moral of the story is: Victoria's Secret wants all women to be Europrean whores that sleep around and get knocked up. I salute you, Victoria's Secret. You're my hero.

Read Article [Could Marriage Cost Klum Her Contract?]