Nick Carter & Paris Hilton

As if you needed another reason to hate Nick Carter, he's apparently taken up the ever respectable hobby of beating women. Turns out that picture I posted on Friday of the "Got Hos" t-shirt had more serious implications than I had ever imagined, as it's part of a series of photographic evidence of Paris' bruised and battered body. As much as Paris Hilton might deserve a beating*, it probably shouldn't have come from Nick Carter. The former Backstreet Boy doesn't really have a right to do anything, let alone beat a spoiled socialite. I guess when you realize your life has been a complete waste, turning to beating women is the only option you have left. Shame on you, Nick.

Read Article -- thanks BellaSarah
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*Editor's Note -- remember to send all hatemail to ryan@kiisfm.com

Paris Hilton

Lindsay Lohan

There's nothing I can say about Lindsay Lohan that hasn't already been said before. Simply put, she was this cutesy lovable girl in The Parent Trap that grew up to become a whore. In the latest issue of Rolling Stone Lindsay again showcases her huge boobs and deteriorating body in a much overhyped pictorial. I'm not saying that I don't enjoy the big breasts (because I do), but it takes more than a giant rack to win me over. I need a pretty face to go along with massive hooters (I'm running out of breast terminology here), along with a healthy amount of "not being a whore." I've never been a fan of Lindsay and I probably never will be. Unless she manages to make a quick turnaround and whip her image into shape a la Christina Aguilera, she'll probably stay on my whore list forever. And not the good whore list which features actual pay-for-sex whores, but the bad list which is just lame actresses turned sluts.

Alessandra Ambrosio

Victoria's Secret is going to college. The lingerie retailer unveiled the "Pink" line of cotton loungewear and sleepwear targeting 18- to 22-year-olds on Thursday. At the launch of the fall 2004 collection, model Alessandra Ambrosio shepherded 20 college students, who were selected from a nationwide search to be spokeswomen in university dorms. [read]

If there's a tangible version of sexy, it's probably Alessandra Ambrosio. There's something about her face and body that sort of kicks me in the kidneys. That probably wasn't a very good analogy, but it was the best way I could express how insanely hot this woman is. It's to the point where I feel actual physical pain in my kidneys. Either that, or my damn kidney stones are acting up again. I'm always getting kidney stone pain confused with sexual frustration.

Alessandra Ambrosio Pink Gallery

Richest Model

The press can't seem to get their story straight as to who the wealthiest supermodel in the world is. It's definitely between Milla Jovovich and Giselle Bundchen, who are each pulling in roughly $10 million, but accounts vary as to who's actually making more. It's sad to think that our society actually pays people more money for looking beautiful than for saving lives. If doctors could manage to look more like Giselle maybe they'd be making more money. And maybe I'd be accidentally hurting myself a whole lot more. Like eight times a day more.

Vogue says Giselle
Double Agent says Milla (with pictures)

The Superficial News

-- On the heels of The Scoop’s item that Britney Spears might be incorporating Kabbalah elements into her nuptials come reports that Moore and Kutcher are planning to get married in a Kabbalah ceremony in Tel Aviv. [read]

-- [Brandy], who was accused last week of faking her marriage to producer Robert Smith, is engaged to pro hoopser Quentin Richardson, per People magazine. [read]

-- Michael Jackson built his Neverland ranch with amusement rides to specifically abduct, abuse and seduce children, a court heard yesterday. [read]

-- Dr Lillian Glass, a top Hollywood psychologist, has claimed that Britney Spears has become an unhealthy sex addict. [read]

-- The actress Catherine Zeta-Jones strained to hold back tears as she described her overwhelming fear after receiving numerous death threats from a woman charged with stalking her. [read]

-- Anthony Anderson, the rotund comedic co-star of "Kangaroo Jack" and the original "Barbershop," made a brief court appearance Thursday to say he understands that he is accused of rape and has a lawyer. [read] -- and here's his mugshot