Severina Vuckovic

If you're curious as to what Severina Vuckovic looks like with clothes on, here are a couple galleries that may enlighten you. Sure, they're not as satisfying as watching her have hardcore sex with a disgusting European man, but they give you an idea of just what it is you're getting a peek at. A naked woman is just so much better when you've seen her with her clothes on. I don't know why, but it's true. That's why nobody would care if Courtney Love made a sex tape. Nobody's ever seen her clothed.

Severina Vuckovic Gallery 1
Severina Vuckovic Gallery 2
Severina Vuckovic Gallery 3

The Naked Stuff
Severina Vuckovic Sex Tape

Potential Hosting Changes

The Superficial may be going through some hosting changes over the next week or so. Initial estimates of bandwidth were far too low, as we've blown through about 1/4 of our monthly bandwidth and it's only been four days into the month. Hopefully we'll be able to locate a new host soon and transfer everything onto there. If you have trouble accessing the site over the next week or so, it's most likely due to the server switch. Try to bear with us as we try to get everything together. We're still shopping for a new host so things should be stable for the next couple days or so. We'll let you know once the change is actually in the works. This is just an early warning for things to come.

*UPDATE: The archives have been removed in order to conserve bandwidth until a new host is found.

Absolut Hunk

This poor model is getting his panties in a bunch because Absolut improperly distributed this fake ad created for HBO's Sex in the City. I don't really understand the complaint though, because I always figured the more publicity the better. Maybe the guy is suddenly embarrassed. I mean, I'd be embarrassed too if where I was supposed to have a penis I had a bottle of Absolut instead. How are you even supposed to have sex with that thing? It just won't work.

This is about as much fame as Jason Lewis is ever going to have so he should just ride it out. Sure, he might be forever known as the Absolut Penis Dude but that's a pretty minor setback for all that popularity. Just look at our good friend William Hung. He's learned to ride out his 15 minutes and so should this guy. He could become some sort of underwear model for CK or something, marketing a special brand of underwear for vodka-bottle-penis people everywhere.

Read Article [via AdRants]

Jeri Ryan

When you're a 20-something girl, not wearing a bra is often times a good idea. When you turn into an almost-40 woman? Well it's really not such a good idea anymore. That whole gravity thing kind of ruins what might otherwise be a perfectly nice looking breast.

If I ran this country, there would be a law enacted that forced women over the age of 30 to wear a bra. There would be exceptions of course, so that women would be able to wander into a local testing agency where they would determine if their breasts were firm enough to go braless. If they pass, then they would get a license which would have to be renewed every couple years or so. It's a good plan. Really it is.

View Picture (hires)

Jodie Marsh

Glamour model Jodie Marsh drew gasps from celebs - and plenty of stares - when she showed up at a showbiz bash wearing next to nothing.

Talk about an attention whore. Maybe my tastes are just more refined than the average joe, but I really don't enjoy seeing desperate ugly models dress in trashy clothing to show off their saggy breasts and disgusting ass. I can understand what they're trying to do, but I'd really rather they didn't. Maybe if they looked a little more like Jessica Alba then yes, please, dress as skanky as you'd like. In fact, if you look like Jessica Alba why dress at all? I think it would probably be in everybody's best interest if you just walked around naked.

Read More (With Pictures)

*edit: Here's another article detailing the Jordan/Jodie feud with pictures of both.

Miss Universe 2004

So I was looking through these Miss Universe 2004 photos and I can't help but wonder how some of these contestants got in. I don't mean to be rude (okay maybe a little), but in what world could this or this ever be considered Miss Universe? It boggles my mind that this is the best these countries have to offer. I pity the men from Nicaragua, if the most beautiful woman from their country looks like this.

And to make up for all that ugly, here are some delightful treats from Israel, India, and Switzerland. Now these are the kinds of ladies that should be in a contest like this. What kind? The pretty kind.

View Miss Universe 2004 Gallery
View More Pageant Galleries