Apologies & Awesome

September 15th, 2010 // 48 Comments
Happy Keanu Reeves

Wait. No more depression = no more hilarious Internet meme. I WON’T ALLOW IT.

Greetings from 30,000 Feet,

Just wanted to drop a quick note apologizing for the less than stellar writing the past few days while I’ve been in LA. Nothing drives me apeshit more than not being able to give 100% to the posts, but it was all for a good cause: The mobile site. Definitely on track for the Fall, but let’s say late October so no one’s nailing dead bats to my door. (I don’t know why I listed that as a turn-on.)
Also, if you haven’t noticed, I ditched the “More” button and stopped jumping the posts, so all the writing is on the homepage now. I have heard your cries, my children, for I am a loving and benevolent God blogger — Word Messiah Man.

Now if you’ll excuse me, some badass lawyer just bought me a beer (Sean says “Hi,” Conni.), and I believe I promised some people a little Formspring action. Business as usual tomorrow when I’m back in the Fortress of Solitude and no longer cranky that I had to wear big boy pants instead of footy pajamas.

- The Superficial

(Thanks to Lindsey for the Happy Keanu pic which kind of makes me sad. I like him forlorned.)

Photo: Korby Banner/VISA


  1. sean

    I’m sean and I’m saying “Hi” to Connie.

  2. Still awesome, wish they would give him more movie roles.

    • MORE movie roles? You mean, he hasn’t butchered the movie screen enough???? He plays the same guy with different hair cuts ffs!!! From Bill and Ted’s, to Dracula, to Johnny Pneumonic, to Devil’s Advocate, to Speed, to the Matrix’ etc etc etc ….

      No matter WHAT role he is playing, he always sounds and acts like he is about to say “Duuuuuude, where’s George Carlin? This mess is Booogus …”

      Worst actor this side of William Schatner

  3. Cock Dr

    Keanu looks much better when he’s not roadside puking.

  4. Viv

    Viva Mexico

  5. GravyLeg

    No article jumping/re-ordering? No “more” button? Happy fucking days….

    Welcome back Fish…. Your “pissed me off” factor just dropped back into the yellow…. Sorry, but if you want green status you will need to show more pics of that Mexican chicks ass…..

  6. Amy

    He used to be so hot. Getting old sucks.

  7. None

    Dude. We get like one of these “I’m sorry I was sick/on the road/blowing some dude” notices per week. Is this site serious or not?

    • Viv

      Yes, the fish has been ditching us for this and that reason lately, and this mobile site, it means the fish will be out and around, no? I hope he gets us better posts, I don’t want to read about how he can see the dog taking a dump at the park.

  8. la chica

    please don’t ever reveal your identity. your anonymity is part of what makes this site special.

  9. L

    No more “more” button is a win.

  10. Fish, def appreciate the mobile site. New job blocks thesuperficial and the vibrant hates banner ads.. Now all i need’s a keypad that’s fatfinger friendly

    • Deacon Jones

      I must click on those links he posts twice a week and get a “BLOCKED/ADULT PORNOGRAPHY” box that pops up from corporate.

      I’m like “Not again, fuck!” Corporate firewalls fucking blow

  11. Jason

    How about no “More…” in the RSS too

  12. guy rossi

    That more button sucked donkey dick

  13. yay

    THANKS! hated the “more” link
    never been inspired to post before :)

  14. Wiley

    Keanu is the man.

  15. sam hain

    wtf is up with geekologie? i just got a malware notice for the whole site?!?

  16. Kingy

    Looove Keanu!! Gorgeous, gorgeous vibrant man. He looks great! I’m hoping this is a sign he’s happy! :)

  17. Megan

    I also feel inclined to thank you for getting rid of the “more” link at the bottom of the posts. I hated that thing. :D

  18. Qω=ლ=D~~ (゚ಥ_ಠ)


  19. ω=ლ=D~~ (゚ಥ_ಠ)


  20. Doc Schweinstrudel

    But for you Fish and some of your brilliant commentors I would have jumped from the bridge long ago. Somebody show Keanu the Superficial site!!!

  21. captain america

    imagine him with a PENIS in his mouth & sperm on his ceek, folks?

  22. Righty Whitey

    I didn’t notice that you were gone, no one reads your posts anyway. They’re all liberal hippy pc pinko commie anti-America Obomma-gushing propoganda anyway. You and your ilk of self-entitlement brainwashed sheep live in a pathetic godless alternate universe with no concept of reality or responsibility. I just like coming in here to see what all the liberal pc anti-American Obomma loving pillow biters are going to blame on Bush next. Go back to ass-slamming your he-bitch you friggin homo.

    • Doc Schweinstrudel

      Yeah. He doesn’t believe in God, he prefers boobs over butt, he likes Obama (ew).
      Still it’s his site and he is doing us a big favour!

  23. somethingoriginal

    and you know he’s really happy because the guy can’t act. we’ll always have the bench, sad keanu.

    thanks for ditching the more button. mobile site anticipation!

  24. somedude

    I almost thought you were going to apologize for all of your racist political comments you made on some posts in the past few weeks where you alienated a lot of your readers. Guess not.

    • Righty Whitey

      dude, what are you talking about? Fish writer would drop down and blow Obomma in half a second if given the chance. This guy would toss Chris Brown’s salad, he’d even pay to do it. He’d give up the manhole to Usher for just one more chance to vote for Al Franken. Get your facts straight.

  25. well at least you are writing far better than a few other sites despite what was written in the past few days or so.

  26. BD

    Thanks for dropping the ‘more’ button. Seriously.

  27. IActuallyRead

    hahahaha ahhh republicans. You guys are funny to the rest of the world. Keep the entertainment coming!

  28. Pippy Longcockings

    Like we’re here for the writing…

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