Antonio Banderas & Melanie Griffith Are Divorcing

“My God, it’s finally happened! Hold me in your penis arms, Sylvester.”

Late Friday afternoon (Read: Post-Giving-Fucks O’Clock.), Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas announced they’re getting a divorce which is either the result of him banging Sharon Stone, or Melanie Griffith getting way too much plastic surgery – that made him bang Sharon Stone. The important thing is that Photo Boy has been obsessively including Antonio in The Crap We Missed which made it easy for me to create a gallery that’s now rife rife with subtext. And by rife with subtext I mean Salma Hayek’s breasts because I’m a cryptic ninja. You would’ve never guessed if I didn’t tell you. There’s no shame in admitting that.

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN