Antonio Banderas & Melanie Griffith Are Divorcing

June 9th, 2014 // 32 Comments

“My God, it’s finally happened! Hold me in your penis arms, Sylvester.”

Late Friday afternoon (Read: Post-Giving-Fucks O’Clock.), Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas announced they’re getting a divorce which is either the result of him banging Sharon Stone, or Melanie Griffith getting way too much plastic surgery – that made him bang Sharon Stone. The important thing is that Photo Boy has been obsessively including Antonio in The Crap We Missed which made it easy for me to create a gallery that’s now rife rife with subtext. And by rife with subtext I mean Salma Hayek‘s breasts because I’m a cryptic ninja. You would’ve never guessed if I didn’t tell you. There’s no shame in admitting that.

Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. No wonder he’s been in such a good mood lately.

  2. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Commented on this photo:

    Is he banging a 19 year old yet?

  3. FruitLoop

    Antonio still looks great. Melanie though has turned herself into a plastic surgery nightmare. I know it’s not at all about the looks of your partner, but damn, she must have been doing something right to keep him as long as she did.

  4. At least they’re keeping the fucking confined to their own age group. Banderas isn’t Mick Jaggering some poor 20 year old who just wants a new Mercedes and to be able to quit her job as a Chili’s waitress.

  5. dontkillthemessenger

    I think I started posting here to solely to make fun of Antonio Banderas-Melanie Griffith pics. Now that they’re getting a divorce, I must reevaluate what I’m doing with my life.

    Wait… you say you have a pic of Prince Charles with Camilla, a cow, and a stuffed dog and his sausage fingers are stuck in one of them? Okay, I’m sucked back in.

  6. rican

    Waiting for the Don Johnson version of “I tapped that first”

  7. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Pickle Nose
    Commented on this photo:

    God, Salma is sexy.

  8. 1863

    I love these photos way too much, the header especially. He earned his place as a regular in The Crap We Missed.

  9. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    If that’s what Photo Boy is obsessed with, then I guess its Fish who is obsessed with picture of pregnant women?

  10. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Tbone
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s no personal tragedy that can’t be overcome by Jazz-Hands.

  11. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Commented on this photo:

    “Baby, you’ve changed since we got married. I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

  12. anonym

    always the clown he is

  13. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Commented on this photo:

    “I should have worn a hat, too. And maybe a scarf. With just these sunglasses someone is sure to recognize me and wonder what I’m doing hanging with this skanky old broad.”

  14. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, do you blame me?”

  15. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Commented on this photo:

    “OK, I’ll hold my arm down, but you damn near got knocked out by a solid right cross.”

  16. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Commented on this photo:

    “We don’t do this anymore so I want a new woman!”

  17. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Commented on this photo:

    “The one on my right has a face like an ashtray and the one on my left has a 4 year-old’s tits. Talk about a rock and a hard place…”

  18. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Commented on this photo:

    “We call it yodeling in the canyon.”

  19. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Commented on this photo:

    “You wanna fuck ME?K Why me? I mean who said anything about fucking anyone? You’re terribly presumptuous…Well, okay.”

  20. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Commented on this photo:

    “When I agreed to fuck you I didn’t mean right here in front of the liquor store.”

  21. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Commented on this photo:

    “Biggest fucking roller coaster I’ve ever been on.”

  22. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Commented on this photo:

    “Damn Crazy Glue. I’m just taking them to a doctor to see about getting their heads separated.”

  23. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Commented on this photo:

    “OOPS! I put it in the wrong pussy.”

  24. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    dennis
    Commented on this photo:

    The photographer captured the moment AB’s testicles came back. To celebrate he should go bang Madonna.

    Pretty sure Melanie Griffith would go Godzilla where she is.

  25. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Marc
    Commented on this photo:

    William Shatner was totally bummed out when that sci-fi body switch didn’t pan out the way he thought it would.

  26. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Nutter Butter
    Commented on this photo:

    check out my kid necklace

  27. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Quagmire
    Commented on this photo:

    Did Courtney Love get her lips done?

  28. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    Quagmire
    Commented on this photo:

    Still rocking the Caesar ‘do after all these years!

  29. Antonio Banderas Melanie Griffith Salma Hayek
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh my god, Sly. What is Frasier doing in the Expendables?”

Leave A Comment