A U.S. Supreme Court Justice Believes A Real, Live Devil Is Making People Not Believe In God

October 7th, 2013 // 77 Comments
Antonin Scalia
'It's The End Times!'
Michele Bachmann
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“And you wanna know why they forgot the prosciutto in my sandwich? Satan.”

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia‘s lengthy interview with New York Magazine has already produced a goddamn orgy of quotes from him claiming to having secret gay friends to repudiating his own moderations. So here’s my favorite part where in the year 2013, a man who holds one of the most powerful and influential posts in our government talks about what he thinks The Devil is up to these days instead of possessing people and pigs like he used to in real life:

But you don’t have to be a Catholic to get into heaven? Or believe in it?
Of course not!

Oh. So you don’t know where I’m going. Thank God.
I don’t know where you’re going. I don’t even know whether Judas Iscariot is in hell. I mean, that’s what the pope meant when he said, “Who am I to judge?” He may have recanted and had severe penance just before he died. Who knows?

Can we talk about your drafting process—
[Leans in, stage-whispers.] I even believe in the Devil.

You do?
Of course! Yeah, he’s a real person. Hey, c’mon, that’s standard Catholic doctrine! Every Catholic believes that.

Every Catholic believes this? There’s a wide variety of Catholics out there …
If you are faithful to Catholic dogma, that is certainly a large part of it.

Have you seen evidence of the Devil lately?
You know, it is curious. In the Gospels, the Devil is doing all sorts of things. He’s making pigs run off cliffs, he’s possessing people and whatnot. And that doesn’t happen very much anymore.

No.
It’s because he’s smart.

So what’s he doing now?
What he’s doing now is getting people not to believe in him or in God. He’s much more successful that way.

That has really painful implications for atheists. Are you sure that’s the ­Devil’s work?
I didn’t say atheists are the Devil’s work.

Well, you’re saying the Devil is ­persuading people to not believe in God. Couldn’t there be other reasons to not believe?
Well, there certainly can be other reasons. But it certainly favors the Devil’s desires. I mean, c’mon, that’s the explanation for why there’s not demonic possession all over the place. That always puzzled me. What happened to the Devil, you know? He used to be all over the place. He used to be all over the New Testament.

Right.
What happened to him?

He just got wilier.
He got wilier.

Isn’t it terribly frightening to believe in the Devil?
You’re looking at me as though I’m weird. My God! Are you so out of touch with most of America, most of which believes in the Devil? I mean, Jesus Christ believed in the Devil! It’s in the Gospels! You travel in circles that are so, so removed from mainstream America that you are appalled that anybody would believe in the Devil! Most of mankind has believed in the Devil, for all of history. Many more intelligent people than you or me have believed in the Devil.

Haha! This is who decides our laws. USA!

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Photos: Getty

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  1. dumb

    he didn’t even say anything ridiculous or offense. that’s what ALL catholics believe. the devil tries to separate people from god.

    i don’t see why you’re picking on him specifically, there’s a lot more radical catholics in the world than him. this post is stupid. (no, i’m not a catholic, but i was raised as one)

    • I was too. You’ll get over it eventually….except for the crushing guilt. That hangs out, even now 20 years later.

    • Jake

      I always figured most people pretending to believe in the Devil and that bullshit don’t really believe it. They just are too superstitious to admit it.

      Scalia’s a nutjob, but I’d be willing to bet he probably thinks the Devil is bullshit, too. But, her carries baggage from his Catholic upbringing that prevents him from being honest about his true feeling.

    • the "Actually" guy

      Actually it’s what “ALL” social-political conservatives believe. In practice first-world Catholics treat their dogma as an a la carte menu and plenty of them think the devil stuff is ridiculous. But the Latin Americans seem to eat it up.

    • Methos

      Except, he’s not the average catholic. He’s a sitting Supreme Court Judge!

      He’s is charged with looking the evidence and argument from both sides of an issue and make a sound judgement. He’s obviously not capable of doing that in relation to religion. So , why do we trust his judgement in any other arena?

      • What he’s not capable of doing is realizing that, in fact, “most of America” may not actually believe as he does. Given the position he holds, and the fact that he’s arrogant enough to hold up his religious beliefs as a guide for how the world should be run today because he knows for an absolute fact that the majority of Americans agree with him that “the Devil” actually, physically, exists, is what’s truly frightening.

    • Just because it’s what Catholics believe doesn’t mean it isn’t patently ridiculous.

    • Dox

      I hate to break this to you, but humans don’t need any personification of evil whispering in their ear to commit horrific acts. And until humans are willing to grow up and accept responsibility for their own actions….. nothing will ever change.

      But by all means, conjure up an image of ultimate evil to excuse your actions…. my three year old nephew does the same thing.

  2. Five bucks says Scalia got fingered.

  3. Katie

    Oh my god this is beyond upsetting to me. :(

    He sounds so ignorant.

    • Mike Walker

      Yes, if you’re dumb enough to take it literally, or desperate enough to pretend for political expedience.

      • You oughta read the entire interview. After bitching about how “ladies” swearing is the cause of civilization collapsing in on itself, he boasts to the interviewer that he’s a “damn” (apparently it’s OK for men to use salty language to the ladiez) good poker player – but in the next breath totally embarrasses himself since he has no fucking idea what a “tell” is.

        If he sounds ignorant, it’s because he fucking well is.

  4. Keep this in mind when you think Scientology or Mormons are stupid because they believe really ridiculous stuff. They do, but it’s no more ridiculous than the batshit crazy crap the people who are literally running the country believe.

    What’s scarier? Scientology is weaseling money out of celebrities, or a Supreme Court Justice who believes in magical sky sorcerers?

    • If I could humbly add…

      Bushes that light themselves on fire and then want to chat.

      Dudes that walk on water and then die and then take 40 days to come back to life and then mysteriously disappear.

    • Dox

      Actually most of humanity is scary. They can murder, rape, steal, cheat, lie, etc and justify it out of one side of their mouth while claiming out of the other that they would never do such a thing.

      God is the least scariest thing on my list. Humankind…. now those bastards are scary as hell.

  5. I believe that Keyser Soze said that the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing people he didn’t exist.

  6. What is he talking about? Doesn’t he realize the Devil has possessed Miley Cyrus! She’s a damn succubus, y’all!

    • Now you see, I thought the same thing. I was sure Miley Cyrus was a succubus too. I went backstage to one of her shows and she invited me into her dressing room…let me tell you I thought I was the luckiest guy int he world. But then things started seeming wrong…she said “before we get down to it, I need something from you”. I said “ok, what”. And she said “I need about tree-fiddy”.

      Well it was about that time that I notice that Miley Cyrus was about eight stories tall and was a crustacean from the Paleozoic era…she wasn’t a succubus at all, she was the Loch Ness Monster!

      I said “dammit you Loch Ness Monster, I ain’t giving you no tree-fiddy!” and she said “how about two-fiddy and you can put it in my butt”.

      So, all in all, it worked out pretty cool.

      • Most useful post in this entire work up of comments. Scalia isn’t nuts, he’s just Catholic, so if you consider them nuts, then he is by default ,but otherwise it is what it is. Miley though, Loch Ness or perhaps a shaven sasquatch youth.

  7. What a joke. How retarded is this guy? I guess only as retarded as “mainstream America”.

    Dear Canada, I take back what I said about you. Can you please send down your Mounties and rid us of this awful scourge?

  8. Deacon Jones

    Par for the course

  9. When the Vulcans get here in 2063, they are so going to make fun of us.

    • Cock Dr

      They would never come here. They would take a sharp left turn at Jupiter and get the hell out of this chock full of crazy solar system.

      • cc

        You never know…maybe they’ll implement an aerial spraying program.

      • Based on the last movie, there is apparently one Vulcan who will give his life to save an indigenous peoples. All they have to do is hide their ship in one our oceans and badda-bing, badda-boom, Kirk and McCoy run a little interference and Spock is inside one of volcanoes heading off catastrophe.

  10. Lord Evil Uncreator

    That’s right suckas. The grizzled walking corpse could hold my secret no longer. That just means my plans have moved forward. You humans are insane and will believe anything to give meaning to yourselves, your lives, and your afterlife.

    If only humans were smart enough to realize they have the power, they have the control. They could take it all back. Instead they wished me into existence when they dreamt up that lazy son of a bitch who only worked for 6 days in his entire life but took credit for all of creation.

    Why do you think pizza is so good? Me.
    How did the platypus evolve? My little joke.
    You want to reach the stars? Sorry- the universe is ever expanding at my whim so you’ll never get anywhere. Tee hee.

    I love you my insane, easy to control, small minded minions.

    Sincerely,
    Lord Evil Uncreator
    (Friends call me Lucifer)

  11. Sulianto

    There is nothing as dangerous as a superstitious, dogmatic government.

  12. by any chance is he from florida?

  13. leila

    holy fucking shit. this is scary.

  14. You mean to tell me a lifelong, devout Catholic believes in Catholic dogma? AND he’s a Supreme Court Justice? GASP! *clutches pearls*

    Some people believe in God and religion. DEAL WITH IT.

    • And some people just have a half-assed grasp of shit that sounds good because they know they can trot it out whenever they need some supernatural force to justify their own earthly motives and desires – knowing that it’s bobbleheads like you that will be eager cheerleaders for their nonsense.

      Because it’s pretty fucking sad that I have to point out to such a “devout Catholic” that “the Devil” never drove pigs off a cliff – that was Christ who drove the demons into swine (at their request), and then allowed them to drown themselves. Someone needs to read their fucking Matthew once in a fucking while.

      Because as far as I’m concerned, it’s whited sepulchers like Scalia and his kneejerk followers whose name is actually Legion. DEAL WITH IT.

    • We are DEALing WITH IT, Spitfire McGhee. That’s what all the pointing and laughing is about.

  15. cc

    Fish…let’s be serious here. You are trying to pull a ‘Jenny McCarthy really said this’ aren’t you? Please say ‘yes’.

  16. Hey Hey Hey

    The Ku Klux Klan was organized as a force against blacks, Jews, and Catholics. Congratulations on your new bedfellows.

    Bigot.

    • So, let me see if I understand: criticizes a Catholic = Klan.
      That’s it. There’s no other option.
      Must be nice to see the world in such sharp contrasts.

      By the way, I hear John Wayne Gacy muttered something under his breath against the Klan this one time. Congratulations on your new bedfellow, serial murdering pedophile.

    • Are you fucking kidding, you fuckwit moron? Read some goddamn history before you start bleating about the Klan and bigotry, because you just mortally insulted every person who actually has suffered it at their hands. Here’s a big goddamn clue as to why a mention of the KKK is not even marginally relevant here: no one is calling for Scalia to be lynched, ridden out of town, torched at the stake or otherwise forced to lose any of his civil rights or suffer for his personal religious beliefs.

      But when, as Chief Justice of the Supreme Court in a secular democratic republic, he starts publically applying certain specific tenets of ANY religious dogma – be it Mohammedan or Catholic – let alone explain that a fulfillment of “the Devil’s desires” is what’s going wrong with America, in the highly mistaken belief that the majority of the population believes exactly as he does (Because Jesus did, too! And plus, it’s in the Gospels! Yes!) so therefore it’s OK, then he’s crossed over a major fucking line. At the very least he needs an immediate refresher course in what the Establishment Clause entails, and what his role in the Supreme Court should be regarding that.

      FYI, anyone who has the nerve to claim they’re a badass poker player, yet is utterly, painfully, clueless about what a “tell” is, is definitely talking out of their ass about everything, and therefore has absolutely no fucking credibility in this life. Or the next.

      • PassingTrue

        Scalia is an Associate Justice. John Roberts is Chief Justice.

      • wow, we are all so fortunate on this titty picture blog to have the benefit of the insights of someone smarter than a sitting Supreme Court Justice, smarter than every one of the billions of people who have some degree of faith in their religion, and just plain smarter than everybody. I just don’t know why someone as incredibly brilliant as yourself would take time away from discovering cures for diseases and solving the crucial issues of our world to cast your pearls of wisdom before us here on this snarky celebrity gossip website. You really should send your resume to the potus for the next Supreme Court opening. Jackass.

      • ReaganDiedinDiapers

        Go back to the Blazse Shitler.

    • “Priests fucking children and then having the Catholic Church cover it up is bad!”

      “YOU RACIST!”

  17. John

    “There are two equal and opposite errors into which our race can fall about the devils. One is to disbelieve in their existence. The other is to believe, and to feel an excessive and unhealthy interest in them. They themselves are equally pleased by both errors and hail a materialist or a magician with the same delight.”

    C.S. Lewis. The Screwtape Letters, “Preface”, 1942.

  18. John

    ” I know someone will ask me, ‘Do you really mean, at this time of day, to reintroduce our old friend the devil–hoofs and horns and all?” Well, what the time of day has to do with it I do not know. And I am not particular about the hoofs and horns.”

    C.S. Lewis. Mere Christianity, bk. 2, sec. 2, “The Invasion”, 1942.

  19. huh?

    Get over it everyone…..ANCIENT FOLK SAYING….”you can catch the Devil…but you can’t hold him long….”

  20. sitsdeep

    Gnosticism

  21. Vlad

    Well if the devil does exist, he isn’t taking my calls. I mean, sure my soul is a bit soiled, I frequent this site, but come on, I really want that big pile of money, no questions asked, where do I sign? Come on Willem, answer the phone!

  22. Jam

    Yeah, I think the Devil does exist. So many satanic symbols in popular culture today, it’s not even funny. Probably giving energy to him or something. It’s all on purpose

  23. What I want to know is; how can this guy even be a judge? Seriously? According to his beliefs, he CAN’T convict anyone. “Your honour, my client claims he is not responsible for the deaths of those people since the devil made him do it”.
    “I declare this a case of boys will be boys. Case dismissed! *gavel hits desk*

    • The Supreme Court doesn’t convict anyone of anything – that’s the role of the lower courts, so in any criminal matters they’re the court of last resort when it comes to appealing a sentence that’s already been passed. But what they’re also supposed to do is protect civil rights by striking down laws that violate the Constitution, to ensure that majorities can’t pass laws that harm the minority. The fact that Scalia is claiming that most Americans also believe that the Devil exists and is actively at work, and that, just for backup, he knows it’s true because Jesus and the Gospels told him so, is more than a little scary. It shouldn’t matter how many Americans personally believe anything – thinking that your belief, religious or otherwise, is validated simply because you feel the majority also holds your viewpoint is a dangerous mindset for anyone on that Court to have.

      • but isn’t that exactly the logic that led the court to strike down state laws banning gay marriage – that since now the majority of people in this country support extending marriage rights to homosexual couples, it became time for the courts to recognize that as a right as well? yep, seems like a dangerous mindset to me for sure. You might also consider that by the time a person has distinguished themselves in the field of law long enough to be considered for a seat on the supreme court, they’ve gotten a grasp on the concepts of separation of church and state, and of not allowing their personal viewpoints on religion to cloud their consideration of legal matters.

      • Actually, that isn’t the logic behind any ruling, since popularity means exactly jack-shit when it comes to Constitutional issues – or should. Even if the majority of people in the US were totally OK with gay marriage, that’s not the reason behind striking down state laws banning it – a civil liberty that’s restricted to a majority and not extended to a minority is ultimately unconstitutional, end of story. There is no consensus, vote or poll taken to make sure everyone’s on board with it, just as there wasn’t when Brown v. Board of Education was ruled on by the Warren Court. There’s a reason Jefferson was adamant about not leaving the rights of the minority up to the whims of the majority, you know? So it doesn’t matter if only 49% of the country agrees that everyone should have the same rights, creating a second class of citizens who don’t have the same rights as everyone else runs contrary to the Constitution and the other 51% will have to suck it up and accept it.

        That’s why Scalia using the “most Americans believe as I do” justification makes me nutso. He’s claiming the Devil is out there actively working to make people stop believing in God, which is why the country is going to hell. Well, that and women using the F-word. And while you think any of the Supremes should have a good grasp on the separation of church and state by the time they get to that bench, guess again. Rehnquist, who was the Chief Justice, thought it was “a misleading metaphor based on bad history.” He figured the founders were only forbidding an official state religion, so school prayers and the Ten Commandments in schools and the Post Office and whatever the fuck was A-OK. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

        A man compounded of law and gospel is able to cheat a whole country with his religion and then destroy them under color of law. – Benjamin Franklin

  24. Chris

    Everyone told me that as I got older and had kids my Atheist views would relent…I’m 32 with 4 kids, a wife and a house in this country and if anything I’m moving from Passive to Militant at lightning pace. This shit is unacceptable.

    I’ll allow my children to believe whatever they want but only after they’ve reach an age where logic and reason are apart of the decision making process. If religions truly believed what they preach they’d want it this way. If it was the undeniable truth they’d do it this way without worry of ever losing followers….funny how they indoctrinate at the same time a kid believes a man flies around the sky bringing presents to all the good children….

    This has no place in our govenrment. This is the opposite of what our founding fathers intended. America is running backwards at an amazing pace right now and the rest of the world see’s it.

    • PassingTrue

      Good for you. Believe as you wish, or don’t. *That * iis what our government is about. The founders were against the government establishment of a specific religion but did not intend to prevent the free exercise thereof. It did not require its officials to forswear religious beliefs or anything else in their backgrounds that would either inform or impact their judgment.

      You can agree with Justice Scalia on his interpretation of the Constitution, which tends to be pretty much a constructionalist or you you can disagree and interpret the constitution in another manner. Fair enough. But he and millions like him have the right to believe in God, or not. Neither position is a disqualifier to be President or legislator or court justice.

  25. so?

    I guess I don’t understand what is so funny about this article. All Christians, not just Catholics, believe in the Devil. If they didn’t, what exactly would they need God for? It doesn’t make sense to me how this interview appalls people. He didn’t say anything that any Christian who actually understands his faith doesn’t believe. Slow news day I guess.

    • Actually, not all do, and of those that do, not all believe in it/him/whatever in exactly the same way. It’s a very arrogant assumption to declare that of course everyone out there must think as you do, simply because you hold that opinion – that’s why people are pretty perturbed about this interview.

      Well, that and the fact that Scalia obviously hasn’t read the Gospels any too closely, so “understanding his religion” is also something that’s open to interpretation.

  26. Ralph

    This is the Superficial. Enough with the lefty political garbage.
    More boobs!

  27. rob

    You can mock his religious beliefs all you want, but do a little research. He is universally regarded as one of the most brilliant legal minds ever on the Court. This is even acknowledged by his opponents (like me) on the left.

  28. You misspelled “glans.”

  29. vanceco

    of course he believes in the Devil- he looks him in the face every morning when he’s shaving

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