Anthony Kiedis thinks he’s a forest creature

October 15th, 2007 // 99 Comments
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Anthony Kiedis (the lead singer for the Red Hot Chili Peppers) and his girlfriend Heather Christie gave birth to their son last week. The child’s name is Everly Bear. He was named after Anthony’s favorite band the Everly Brothers. As for the bear part, it was a little part mom and a little part, well, crazy. People has the details:

“The mama came up with Bear,” Kiedis says. “That made sense to me because he’s from me and I feel like I’m part of the bear clan, and I think it’s nice to have a little bit of earth in your name.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa. If the ground rules for naming your kid are using your favorite band and what animal you think you are, I am so on board. As soon as I find an Amazon woman whose womb is capable of nurturing my super-child, I’ve got the perfect name: Dethklok Triceratops. Best name ever, I know. It works on so many levels because I’m part giant, horned thunder-lizard and Dethklok rules. The only way this could backfire is if my son wants to play the oboe instead of doing something awesome like drive a tank – at age six. You’re damn right I’m going to let him. I can’t drive and work the cannon. Didn’t your father teach you how to operate a tank? No? He was sober? Fair enough.

Photos: Getty Images

  1. Big Dumb Oaf

    I looked that pic and I see a male Britney Spears, really, look at the eyes and mouth! I wonder if he’s gonna show his bare crotch getting out of a car like Britney showed her bear and then have his kid taken away?

  2. MrsP

    Anthony, Mrs. Grizzly called, she wants her baby back!!

  3. Hollywood Agent

    Anyone that names their child after the Everly Brothers must be so positive that their kid is the Anti-Christ that they just don’t give a shit.

  4. Hash

    GO ANTHONY! MAKE ANOTHER ONE FOR THE LULZ!

  5. #39: He turns 45(!) November 1st.

  6. yo momma

    Lennon Peacock

  7. Sausage Mahoney

    Anthony’s a pompous midget.

  8. Whitney

    Oh jesus some of you just don’t have a clue do you…first off, his girlfriend Heather is 20…second #39 (you GENIOUS,you…try proofreading) I’d be willing to bet that 90% of all musicians have at some point tried drugs or battled a drug addiction…so unless all you listen to is DC Talk… all your fav. bands are probably doing lines and drinking in excess every night…anyways, the chili’s are still hella better than…oh I don’t know…Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance and all the rest of those douche fucks out there.

  9. rxqueen

    Anthony Kiedis rocks.
    He can name his kids whatever he wants.
    He is just that awesome.

  10. malicious

    fucking funny superfish!

    #21 I totally agree – what is so fucking great about California, he is so running out of material. Being a father ‘down in California’ will be the next drill..

    Blood Sugar Sex Magic is a hard one to top

  11. The Zombie Queen

    Sweet mother of fuck! I don’t care what the hell he names his kid, *you’re* a Metalocalypse fan?! I knew there was another reason I came on this site frequently.. I come here first and foremost to laugh at the misfortunes of these Hollywood douchebags.

  12. wisnin

    Spears Sloth.

  13. Makemepuke

    Naw he’s too beefy to be a heroin addict..oh oh did i say Anthony was beefy, oh shit i must be gay, OK note to self…discuss with therapist the possibility i’m gay because Anthony seems “muscular “to me…ie too muscular to be a heroin addict…..hmmmm well maybe his handlers feed him well so he doesn’t, “look” like a heroin addict. So he’s probly just a poser addict…ie. like most holllywood assholes seeking attention fo one sort or another…yes i’m drunk.

  14. funkycrime

    What he got, he hadda give to the Mama.
    What he got, he hadda give it to be poppa.
    Little Bear, he gonna get it with a pin too?
    kneelin’ for the dealin’,
    Will Flea drop in you?

  15. C

    #58 WOW….yeah, my typo in a stupid post really compares to naming a kid Everly Bear!!! Yeah, I’m the one without a clue, huh? Oh…and a 45 year old with a 20 year old makes it so much better, doesn’t it?!? You’re probably right about the drugs, etc. that musicians do/try. I wouldn’t exactly call that a “revelation” though and who gives a crap about that anyway.

    Anthony K. MAY be a smart, articulate, sophisticated person for all we know, but I highly doubt it and I certainly wouldn’t call him a genius. Yes, his heroine use factors in to that assessment…because its take a special kind of stupidity to stick a needle in your veins (REPEATEDLY) and think “this is just a recreational thing.” In addition, every interview I have seen of A.K. makes me think that #51 may be on to something.

  16. jakebarnes

    Ladysmith Black Mambazo Blue-footed Booby.

  17. Geez

    He’s part Indian, folks. For First Nations people, being part of the “bear clan” is similar to being Scottish and being part of the “MacDonald” clan (in a sense). It’s simply a nod to his roots. Kind of thoughtful, I think.

  18. dads

    God I want to get fucked by anthony kedis so fucking hard. I want him to ride my pussy and slap me in the face and say

    Thats a good little girl, your a little slut that likes it up the pussy a lot.

    Ok .. I need to get fucked now.

    call 461-7002 plz!! I need a good fucking!

  19. yeahyeah

    So, now it’s fashionable to mock Native American traditions? Having a clan bloodline that is associated with an animal is commonplace for Native Americans. This blog is an embarrasing act of ignorance.

  20. Ed

    This post is made of epic win for the Dethklok reference. Fuckin A.
    I dunno who’s been writing for the Superfish lately, but keep whoever it is. Best writing in ages.

    PS – If you haven’t already, buy the Dethalbum. Amazing metal.

    PSS – @69 – Go stand in front of my Hatredcopter. And die.

  21. El Sueno

    Black Sabbath Bambi

  22. Scorpyr

    Dethklok does rule… RHCP haven’t since Blood Sugar Sex Magik

  23. delanick

    Black Sabbath Roadkill Freak-Dog,

    This post is one of the best ever… PLEASE don’t ever stop!

  24. Sam Hain

    zombie pit bull.

    marilyn mongoose.

  25. gina

    agreeing with 59. anthony kiedis is a god and he can do whatever the hell he wants.

  26. Levi

    he’s from grand rapids, mi. he’s no more “native american” than I am (which is not at all). funny how white people will claim these things to be more “earthy” and “sensitive”, and to clear up that white guilt! my grandmother used to tell me that I have “indian” blood in me from my great-great-great uncle or something. what a line of shit. face it, the dude’s not living on a reservation, and I bet you that absolutely none of his money ends up anywhere near a reservation, let alone near a real native american. fuck him and his weak candy pop band.

  27. D. Richards

    #68. I’ll call you. As long as you don’t make any eye-contact with me. Your body will be just that, a body.

  28. Banquo

    Anthony Kiedis,..building a career off a speech impediment and the exact same dissident chord change for every song.

    People who like Anthony Kiedis are almost always pop hard rock pretend wannabees and almost never musiscians. (whereas flea,..exact opposite)

    The guy has the IQ of a grapenut. Saw him at a show once, he walked by and it smelled like a full wet garbage truck covered in vomit on a hot day in the Bronx, and he hadn’t even gone on stage yet. It’s called SOAP, even poor people usually have the common decency to use it.

    If I just came into the world and found out that Anthony Kiedis was my dad, I’d hang myself with the umbilical cord. Though I must admit, if I’m ever feeling down I just google his name and look at the images,..that “Doy look at me I’m spechul!! look on his face always cracks me up. So I guess everyone DOES have a purpose in life.

  29. Banquo

    69 – 1/8th blackfoot here.
    Kiedis is a spotlight whore,..just like any other celeb. And having some cool little “niche” is his “Look at me, I’m deep and misunderstood and Different” thing. ALL Celebrities embrace their Race/religion/sexual pref. etc.. to get more spotlight exposure.

    Keides has never made any contribution to Native American Society other than to make it look less intelligent, he just touts it because he can use it to sell himself using it as a trend tool.

    He’s a conformist tard monkey, if it came out that Nazi’s were the cool people you’d see him up there is his little swastika armbands and he’d grow a Hitler stache.

    Cashing in on his almost non-existant link to a native American ancestory is just a pretty converation topic for him, just like when he adopted Kabahlah.

    He might as well just put a big shirt on that says “Look I’m SOOO different!! Like me now!!” (someone will have to show him how to put it on so the words are on the outside though.

  30. Native American Female

    Well I see Most of you know nothing about Native Americans.

    Clans are part of the Native American Culture. There are many clans.
    and yes Bear is one of them. He should actually find out and not just think, that if he really is Native American.
    I myself am Native American,and I am Turtle Clan.

    Also I don’t know what Grand Rapids Mi, has to do with not being Native. There are a lot of native people living in GR. Shit I’m from GR. There are over 6 Tribes from MI that are Federal Recognized.

    OOhh and by the way no ALL Native Americans live on Reservations, what a stereotype

    I agree with YeahYeah this blog is embarrassing and ignorant.

  31. Auntie Kryst

    Lay off, I bet he is part Native American. Look at his arm, he’s got a tattoo. Could be Sitting Bull? Ink=blood, c’mon we all know that.

  32. miggs

    #80 stop spreading disinformation. There’s nothing in your comment about casinos.

  33. DethklokHatesYou

    Ugh, Jesus Christ….

    Way to take a cool show/band and dip it in lame-ness by dragging all these fanboy/girl losers out of the woodwork.

    Brendan Small rules, and you are all idiots.

  34. the voice of reason

    Stop talking about how you are all “real” native americans.
    No one cares except you, you’re not impressing anyone.

    In fact, no one cares to talk about native americans at all, apart from people trying to show how they know more than others or have a better culture.
    Shut up and move on

  35. Ten Beers

    I’m 1/6th staggering drunk. Call me Ten Beers.

  36. True Americans

    White people are lying cowards. Even I know that and I am caucasion. The Indians were lied to and cheated. Hey don’t worry assfuck, we white people are being lied to and cheated now. Karma. God the bless the new World Order.

  37. is anyone cares

    he is lithuanian, and his gf is 23.

  38. ilovekiedis

    fuck you guys. anthony kiedis and the red hot chili peppers are great, real musical talent.
    just you fuckers out there that think that by listening to them doesnt mean you dont know about “non-mainstream” bands youre wrong.
    and he is native american, so why shouldnt he embrace it if he feels that he should?
    its the opposite of jessica alba denying shes hispanic, fuck that bitch.

    everyone is ignorant in this blog and doesnt really give a shit about real issues anyway

  39. Kiedis is probably the father of half the people who posts here, so pay him a little more respect. RCHP is the best fucking band in the world.

  40. margoloid

    Oingo Boingo Bonobo

  41. AKisOK

    where to start..”Bug-eyed”? how so? QUEER? are you KIDDING me?76: he’s part Mohican ( indian). he’s a dad–congrats. he’s in one of the greatest bands EVER–are y’all talking about the same anthony? oh,yeah, plus he’s fkn HOT!

  42. BabiiRockiin

    Leave him alone jeeez, he can name his child watever he wants too, alot of the people who post here are guys, who are just jealous, probably because he is way better lookin than you’z will ever be,far more sucessful,has had more women and he is absoulutly LOADED. I’m sure Anthony kiedis really gives two f**ks what some sad little losers think of him when he’s rollling in his millions. And oh yeah, even Everly B is more famous and rich than you losers and he’s only a few weeeks old. and this is coming from a non-chili fan.

  43. Aymee!!xXx!!

    Wow, hez fit az fuk!!!!

  44. “Deathklok Triceratops” I literally just peed.

  45. Kiki

    Wow, people in this blog are so angry. If you dont like Anthony, then why should you care, what he names his son? I guess you have a lot of issues… I think, that Everly Bear is an awesome name and AK is a great singer/writer!

  46. Gloria

    i have saw this news on sugarcupid.com before.

  47. C’mon guys Anthony isn’t that bad!

  48. Annie

    AK is not a genius, sheesh he just writes weird creative catchy lyrics and lets his hairy slaves do the rest of the work, JOHN FRUSCIANTE SHOUKD HAVE LEFT AGES AGO AND NOT COME BACK TO HIS SELF RIGHTEOUS MADNESS

  49. RHCPrules

    anthony kiedis is awesome. let him be the way he is. he isn’t a bad person. his music is amazing and inspiring to me and many other people in the world. he saved my life with music. so just shut up. if u dont like anthony kiedis, then why do u bother reading and commenting this article if u hate the guy.
    seriously, why??!!!

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